In Plain Sight Quotes

Mary: [voiceover] Make no mistake: buying a car or copping a plea, deal making is a bloodsport. When a witness lands on my doorstep he's trading in his testimony, his hometown, and everyone he ever knew for a life at the end of the road. So we set him up; a new name, address, a job we hope he won't hate, but the one thing I can't give him, the deal I've yet to strike, is the one that protects him from the guy in the mirror.

TV Show: In Plain Sight
Marshall: I'm impressed.
Mary: With what?
Marshall: You seem to be following a direct order.
Mary: [scoffs] I always follow a direct order. Unless, you know, it's stupid.
Marshall: I'm also impressed you seem to be rolling with change. It's not something at which you are adept.
Mary: Hey, I'm adept at change! I mean, did I not go on vacation with Faber? No one, including me, thought I could vacate, and I vacated!
Marshall: During the so-called vacation you convinced Faber to go make things work with his ex-wife and kids, which proves my thesis that you prefer a known situation that's deeply flawed to an unknown situation potentially free of flaws.

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Mary: [stroking a car] Oh, man, it's the same color!
Marshall: Angry aubergine.
Peter: I searched for it far and wide. Found it at a used car dealer in Resolute, Kentucky. The dealer didn't want to sell it because he said he believed in God and he was sure it was a sin to make money off this, and I'm quoting, chariot of Satan.
Marshall: It has one hundred and forty thousand miles on it!!
Mary: It's road tested. Durable!
Marshall: Or as seen through another lens, a candidate for the junkyard!
Peter: Look, Mary, there's no reason for you to regress back into a Probe. Let me put you into a new loaner.
Mary: The only reason I'm back in the loaner is because of Mr. Headroom, here.
Marshall: The Probe is a known situation that is deeply flawed.
Mary: Or, seen through another lens, bite me.

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Marshall: We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
Mary: Don't talk like that. What's your point?
Marshall: Your mom is well ensconced at teaching ballet, your sister is engaged, and despite your underlying belief in her guilt it turns out she was free of complicity in the car theft. The questions is, what does the protective lioness do without anyone to protect?

TV Show: In Plain Sight
Mary: [voiceover] Whether it's secrets, justice or the Amazon rainforest, every one of us protects things a thousand times a day. It doesn't take a gun; for most of us, protection is as quiet and reflexive as a breath. For some, though, for knights in shining armor, the lone ranger, a boyfriend or a mom, protection can be a hard habit to break. As much as we thump the bible about the vital need to change, the fact is, we hardly ever do. We stay here, halfway to happy, in our old familiar places, with our feet stuck firmly on the ground.

TV Show: In Plain Sight
ADA: Just make sure my witness shows up safe and sound at trial.
Mary: Wait, safe and sound? Is that new? That's not an either or thing?
[ADA gives her a stink eye]

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Mary: [to coffee maker as she answers her phone] I hate you!
Marshall: What?
Mary: No, not you.
Marshall: Joey called. He said there's a situation at the house.
Mary: I am not going anywhere until I get --
Marshall: I've got two coffees.
Mary: I swear to God, you're a keeper.

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Mary: Unbelievable. Adam was dead on about these guys from the get-go.
Marshall: Ah, the dulcet sound of a Mary Shannon admission, so rarely heard in nature.
Mary: Do you think everyone wants to punch you in the mouth?

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Mary: [voiceover] One of my earliest memories is of a beachfront and a flagpole, and of lightning flashes heading for the shore. As grownups ran around, frantic, gathering beach towels, flip-flops, and five-year-olds, one kid in particular went racing toward the storm. I watched that five-year-old at the beachfront, clinging wide-eyed to the flagpole, as pretty bolts of lightning lit the sky. Then his mom ran up, or a lifeguard, or an aunt, and pulled him down to groundedness, to live another day. As with most things, hanging on to flagpoles is, in the end, a matter of balance, but good to keep you steady while you stay alert for lightning, as it storms across the sea.

TV Show: In Plain Sight
Mary: [voiceover] The little guy. The underdog. David as opposed to Goliath. These are who we're raised to root for, to climb every mountain, take on all comers, the shock the world with a win at Lake Placid, and once in a blue moon they do. But the unerring fate that every little guy will find love, bring home the gold, or slay the dragon is in reality the stuff dreams are made of, or rather fairytales. Just saying.

TV Show: In Plain Sight
Mary: Guy spends his whole life devoted to one woman who, P.S., married someone else. You know what we call that?
Marshall: Classically romantic?
Mary: Totally pathetic.
Delia Parmalee: I'm with Marshall. Sounds like the best romantic comedy ever.
Marshall: Don't get her started on rom-coms!
Mary: Don't get me started on rom-coms! Talk about a waste of time. Hey, Harry! Hey, Sally! Opposites attract! We hate each other, but not really. Yeah, I get it. Just save me the two hours of 'I'll have what she's having' and fess up now so I can get one with my life and back to the grownups table.
Delia: It sounds like someone could use a trip from Mr. Cupid.
Marshall: Don't get her started on Cupid.
Mary: I hate that fat little Valentine's baby.

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Mary: Six?! Six sessions?! I got abducted and I was back in four, and one of them was lunch!
Marshall: Shelly thinks it's related to how protective I am of the women in my life.
Mary: Whoa, whoa, whoa. She said that? [watches as Marshall nods] Oh, boy.
Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that?
Mary: Come on, Marshall. All those dates you and Finkle went on?
Marshall: We had a date, it was coffee, and her ex called in the middle weeping, so technically --
Mary: She just got out of a messy breakup.
Marshall: Gordon. Delia is seriously dialed in.
Mary: And now she has you on the couch for wall to wall sessions and some not so subtle romantic recon. Wake up, pal! You're not a patient. You're her hostage.

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James Woodhead: You're a WITSEC inspector. You can't arrest me.
Mary: I'm a member of the U.S. Marshall Service, the oldest branch of law enforcement this country's ever seen. I can arrest the president if it's warranted.

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Mary: [voiceover] From childhood we're fed a steady diet of 'once upon a time,' the ultimate lead-in to love conquers all. No wonder we wind up at bookstores and movies with stars in our eyes, or head in the clouds. Heathcliff, Scarlett, a farm boy, a princess, Affairs to Remember on the 85th floor, but the star-crossed who kiss right before Auld Lang Syne or played by a boombox held over their heads, they're a pain in the ass. Because love, no matter what the storybooks say, hardly ever conquers all. So when it does, and the grownups, the skeptics, the stable of mind, watch others blissfully fly into the sun, it churns up and riles something deep down inside. We feel something foreign and fleeting, something hard to admit: hope.

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Beth Harris: You know, you don't have to check on me 24/7.
Mary: What are you talking about? I'm not checking on you. I always hang out in the smoker's section with the cool kids.
Beth: This is where the cheerleaders sit.
Mary: Ah. That explains the hives.

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Stan: I was just with Delia and the others, and across the board they matched Sharon the drug dealer with Sharon the PTA mom. That little beauty mark is killing us.
Marshall: We've got to stop that documentary from airing.
Stan: I was thinking the exact same thing, but not to worry. I got this.
Mary: Cool. John Wayne mode.
Marshall: [smiles] John Wayne mode.
Stan: What? I know a guy.
Mary: [laughs] Ha! Even better! Godfather mode.
Stan: I wear many hats, Mary.
Mary: You wear many hats?! Don't tee up the bald jokes for us, Stan. It takes the fun out of it.

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Mary: [voicover] There comes a time when every kid peeks behind a curtain and sees she's not the only one putting on a show. Fathers, mothers, cops and robbers, every member of the PTA: all playing dress up, all wearing their masks; a constant Halloween. That first peek behind the curtain, the lifting of the mask, it's a disorienting moment. The solid ground beneath you slips away to quicksand, along with all you thought you knew. But you realize, as days and nights go by, that there's a kind of truth in the lie. That the mask is often more revealing than the face that lies beneath, because the person you pretended to be, the mother, the father, the sister, the cop, became, somehow, the person that you are.

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Marshall: Coffee sour? You're making that face.
Mary: It's this clown, Ronnie Dowenberg.
Marshall: Ah, the affinity scammer.
Mary: Sells good Samaritans on phony bonds to build imaginary churches. I don't even like church and I hate this guy. Con-men are the worst.
Marshall: They're great on the stand, blend in anywhere, they play ball.
Mary: That's what they want you to think!
Marshall: Maintaining such a dim view of humanity, isn't it exhausting?
Mary: That's why they make energy drinks. [smirks] Look, Marshall, we hide murderers, smugglers, every crayon in the wise-guy wannabe box, but con-men: they don't just take your money, they rob you of your dignity. They leave you poor, wide-eyed and stupid on the side of the road, and if you think there's a chance in hell this son of a bitch can up and whistle a different tune, I've got a seaside condo in Beirut I'd like to tell you about.

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Mary: [answers phone from her home kitchen] Hey, Stan.
Stan: Where are you?
Mary: Burger King.
Stan: Well, grab me a Whopper Jr., no pickles, don't forget to bring your mitt.
Mary: A: get your own Whopper, B: I don't own a mitt, which follows since I don't play softball.
Stan: Mary, it's Marshals versus APD!
Mary: I'm not a team player, Stan, and that's a direct quote from last year's performance appraisal.

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Marshall: A witness going undercover is a non-starter unless his inspectors are there to ensure his safety.
FBI Special Agent: And when was the last time you worked undercover?
Mary: [scoffs] We're always undercover. That's the job. Seriously, in real life I'm a total bitch. [she and Marshall laugh]

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Mary: Can you believe we're just rolling out the red carpet for this douche bag?
Marshall: It's what we do: we keep douche bags honest and occasionally remunerate them, even when they aren't.
Mary: Disappearing. It's not a bad deal. No baggage. No exes tracking you down.
Marshall: So, you and Mark are --
Mary: I just couldn't buy a ticket for a movie I'd already seen.

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Mary: [whispers across the hallway to her out of sight partner] Marshall!
Marshall: [whispers back] I'm done with the Amish jokes!
Mary: Why? They're funny!
Marshall: They're not, and before you ask, I haven't seen the remote.
Mary: Ugh. What about a pillow? Have you seen an extra pillow? These beds suck. I swear to God, I think my mattress is made of wood. [looks up as Marshall appears in her doorway wearing an Amish style men's nightgown] Oh, no. What are you doing?! No, no, no, no, no! Eli was just being polite! He didn't expect you to actually wear them!
Marshall: [motions to his exposed lower leg] Can you not handle this?
Mary: Oh, my God. Put them away, Ichabod. Yuck!
Marshall: Here. [throws her a pillow]
Mary: Hey, hey, hey. One more thing!
Marshall: I'm not giving you my pie.
Mary: Hoarder.
Marshall: Glutton.

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Abigail: I am thinking of buying Marshall a first edition of Leaves of Grass. Do you know if he has it already?
Mary: [laughs] Right. Because I've got Marshall's pretentious book collection memorized.
Abigail: Well, I just thought you might --
Mary: Tell me you're not one of those psycho girlfriends trolling for intel about the guy she's dating.
Abigail: Mary, this isn't a trick question. It's not espionage. You know Marshall better than he knows himself, and you sit five feet away from him ten hours a day.

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Mary: [voiceover] Community is not exactly one size fits all. One man's slice of heaven is another man's hellhole. The lucky few fit in from the start, like a glove; always with the wind at their backs and a place to call home, surrounded by parents, kids and the green of the grass. For some, though, all the community you'll ever need can be found on the other side of the room.

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Mary: So here's something: I'm kind of -- how should I put this? I'm --
Marshall: Expecting? With child? In a family way?
Mary: How did you know?
Marshall: Mary, you're my partner and my best friend, I'm with you all the time.
Mary: Yeah, and?
Marshall: Well, lately, you're ah -- [motions to her breasts]
Mary: Oh, ew! Marshall! Just --
Marshall: You do like a pie, but your liking pie is nothing new. What's new is -- [motions again]
Mary: Yeah, got it.

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US Attorney: The Lithuanian operation is more than just money laundering. They're terrorists. We're talking murder, drug smuggling, prostitution, and that's just what they do to unwind. Now I've been tracking this group for seventeen months, and I'm telling you, they're a scourge. [gets hard looks from Mary and Marshall] The group. Not Lithuanians as a whole. [hurriedly explains] My mother's side is half Lithuanian! I'm not being a racist!
Mary: Huh! Next Mother's Day maybe you embroider that on a pillow!
Stan: Bottom line, unless Ben get's a transplant he's not going to make it to the trial.
US Attorney: Great! Wouldn't want anything to be easy. Ever!
Mary: That's right. He gave himself liver failure. You know, to spite you.

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Brandi: Mary, you're never tempted to, you know, look for him? I mean, with your job and everything?
Mary: Brandi, the man is an FBI fugitive. The day I'd find him I'd cuff him at hello.
Brandi: I know, but it's been so long, and Peter was saying something about a statute of limitations.
Mary: Look, guys like dad don't change. The picture you're going to find is of a guy who held up banks, ditched me and mom and a baby in a crib, and then got a new family and bailed on them, too. I mean, are you sensing a pattern here?
Brandi: You never know. Peter says it takes some people a long time to grow into their authentic selves.
Mary: Okay, first of all, don't say authentic selves. Second, you're getting married, so you're all overflowing with perspective and forgiveness. Forgiveness is for people who deserve it, and dad is still out there doing God knows what, so he's not one of those people, you know. He's just the guy in the picture.

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Marshall: Procreation is remarkable in its complexity --
Mary: Here we go.
Marshall: -- and its relative simplicity.
Mary: Kill me now.
Marshall: What comes after: family dynamics, hopes and dreams, the triumphs, the tragedies.
Mary: Sweet Jesus, shut your hole.
Marshall: That's the tricky stuff.
Mary: I can't believe I'm pregnant.
Marshall: I know you can't, and yes you are.
Mary: I'm not sure I know how to do this.
Marshall: It's just like you said, treat it like a witness: protect and relocate.
Mary: Yeah.
Marshall: We'll make a list. You do like lists.
Mary: I do like a list.
Marshall: I'll draw up a template tomorrow with 'locate nearest restroom' on every other line. Can I walk you out? I'll let you get the door.
Mary: No, I've got some stuff to finish up.
Marshall: Okay. We'll talk more tomorrow.
Mary: Don't threaten me. [smiles as Marshall laughs]

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Mary: [voiceover] Growing up sucks. The days of cookies, dreams and the ice cream man do their flickering fade to black, like some wounded firefly or a nightlight on the fritz. Children become parents, parents become helpless, and dreams you thought you'd always dream slip silent out the door. But ultimately, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, when you look at your life with a hard, unflinching eye, there's only one real certainty: the growing never stops. That and the death and taxes thing.

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Marshall: I think I want to adopt Vick.
Mary: He has parents, Marshall. Plus, two nerds don't make a right.
Marshall: I know, it's just hanging out with him I can't help thinking about what it would be like: fatherhood. Speaking of which, you know you have to tell Mark about this stuff, right? [motions to her belly]
Mary: No. It was a one night stand. I don't have to tell my ex-husband anything. That's what one night stands and ex-husbands are for.

TV Show: In Plain Sight