Homicide - Life on the Street Quotes

Gee: She's a Teflon murderer. Nothing will stick to her.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Nun: I know that Katherine Goodrich would have, with her dying breath, forgiven her attacker.
Pembleton: What about the others? Who speaks for them? What right do any of us have to forgive in their name?

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: I don't believe you have MPD. But I don't care if you really do or don't. I also don't care how many personalities you may or may not have. Because of you there are eight personalities who will never speak again. You had no right to kill them. Especially in God's name. And I gotta believe, even if you walk outta here scot free, God is gonna make you pay one way or another.
[Pembleton leaves room.]
Wilgis: I'm sure he will.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: I didn't know Crosetti at all. I didn't want to. What ticks me off that I'm beginning to realize how little I know about myself. I don't know enough about who I am or how I do the job that I do to ask the right questions from my fraternal brothers to figure out what one of us is about. I keep trying to remember Crosetti. His desk was 3 feet away from mine and I can't even remember if we said any more than "hi ya" to each other for a whole entire year.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: I watched them slice up my partner in the morgue. Scheiner took the electric saw; sliced off the top of his head, took his heart, weighed it, and tossed it into a steel container like the kind you find in a restaurant kitchen. How many times I been to the M.E.? How many times I've seen him slice the top of somebody's head off? Couple hundred times maybe, maybe more. But I never really noticed, I never really watched. Till I saw Steve.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: So you're a homicide detective and your brother is an undertaker. Between the two of you, the holiday dinner table must be a riot.
Munch: Just one life-affirming story after another.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: I know everybody is on you to do right by Steve. To make sure it doesn't come out a suicide.
Bolander: That what you're asking, Lieutenant? To make it a murder? A murder with no murderers? A murder that can't be solved? If you want me to do it; I'll do it. Hell, my clearance rate is so low these days, one more open case isn't gonna make any difference. Everybody says 'do it for Steve'. And I keep thinking, I mean, if he chose to commit suicide, what right do I have, what right does any of us have, to make that go away? I don't agree with what he did, but if that's his final statement, should I wipe that clear, just for our peace of mind? I mean, nobody wants to admit it, but everybody knows what really happened.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: The Italians are an unforgiving lot.
Gee: I know. But we make great pasta. It balances out.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: What happened to the good old bar where you just go in and talk to the bartender, you think, you get depressed, and you drink, and you go home and puke?
Lewis: It's outdated, Munch.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lennox Young: My brother got shot.
Munch: But all you heard was a bang?
Lennox Young: I got ears like a dog.
Munch: And you've been using us like fire hydrants.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Felton: Romper, stomper, bomper, blue. I see Jimmy and Julie. Except she never saw me. I spent years in front of that friggin' tube and she never once saw Beau in the magic mirror. That BITCH!

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: But what if they make me take a test? I can't take tests. I always clutch. What if I take it and fail and all our dreams come crashing down?
Bayliss: Well, then it's simple. Meldrick and I will harm you.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Felton: Oh, so that's what cous-cous is.
Lewis: Where is it written a man can't try something new every now and again?
Bolander: Who's the dolly? Who's the dolly?
Lewis: What?
Bolander: I've never seen a man eat cous-cous unless a woman was involved. Who is she?
Felton: Lewis is in love with Emma Zoole. Let me clue you in on something, pal. Cous-cous is not gonna make a difference. I've gone the health food route. Stir-fry this, low-fat that; what this is really about is control. If you allow her to control what it is you eat, it's curtains. How much more primary, how much more basic can you get than what a man puts into his stomach? Munch and crunch all the veggies you want, but in the end, new girl or not, you're out. Because you did not take a stand and that's what this is about. Not health, not love, not living fat-free. This is about women trying to dominate men.
Lewis: It's just cous-cous, man.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: How was it?
Bayliss: How was--how--how--was what?
Bolander: Your date with Emma. I heard you took her to an art gallery.
Lewis: DATE?! You had a date with Emma?! You went behind my back with Emma?!
Bayliss: Me? Meldrick, look at-- No, no, I would not do that.
Howard: Hey Bayliss, Beau says you slept with Emma Zoole in a cuffoon or something?
Lewis: What is she-- You went to bed with Emma?
Bayliss: No, Meldrick, no. We did not go to a bed together.
Lewis: You slept with MY Emma?!
Gee: I thought I smelled sex around here.
Bolander: What is a cuffoon?
Howard: I don't know. Beau was laughing so hard when he said it, he had to sit down.
Lewis: You are a disloyal son of a bitch and I don't want anyhing to do with you.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: It's till death do you part. You die - you part.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Finding love is like solving the perfect crime: you look at every shred of evidence, you talk to every witness, follow up every lead, but more often than not, what wins in the end is just pure, dumb luck. And you my friend, are just not lucky.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: [answering the phone, at Christmas] Ho-Ho-Ho-Homicide.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: You don't believe in anything.
Munch: Sure I do.
Bolander: Oh, yeah?
Munch: Yeah.
Bolander: What do you believe in?
Munch: I believe that one day I'll be sitting at a bar in Hong Kong and this incredibly attractive and submissive woman with an abiding interest in art and existential philosophy will come up to me and say take me home and ravish me.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: How come all the miracles that have happened; happened in the past?
Bolander: What are you talking about?
Munch: Name one miracle that's happened in your lifetime.
Bolander: How 'bout the fact that I haven't killed you yet?

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Fidel: You've got a weird way of talking.
Munch: Don't start with me again, Fidel.
Fidel: It's like you hafta use all these weird words, its like you're listening to the words like they were in a cartoon coming out of your mouth and you're watching them thinking "I'm cool, I'm cool."

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: Let me give you some advice Tim. Never try to hustle a Sicilian.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: One time, one time I'd like to hear about a murder that makes any sense. One time, for any reason.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: You know, every day I get out of bed and drag myself to the next cup of coffee. I take a sip and the caffeine kicks in, I can focus my eyes again, my brain starts to order the day. I'm up, I'm alive. I'm ready to rock. The time is coming when I wake up and decide I'm not getting out of bed. I'm not getting up for coffee or food or sex. If it comes to me, fine; if it won't, fine. No more expectations. The longer I live the less I know. I should know more. I should know that coffee's killing me. You're suspicious of your suspicions? I'm jealous, Kay. I'm so jealous. You still have the heart to have doubts? Me, I'm going to lock up a fourteen-year-old kid for what could be the rest of his natural life. I gotta do this; this is my job. This is the deal, this is the law, this is my day. I have no doubts or suspicions anymore. Heart has nothing to do with it anymore. Its all in the caffeine.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Older Waitress Applicant: One rule I don't abide by is, "The customer is always right." The customer is never right.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: You know now, don't you? You got the fear, now. Don't you? Son, I don't usually find myself giving advice, especially to 14 year old killers, but please, please listen to me. Just this one time. Keep your ass to the wall. Don't trust anybody, don't believe anybody, don't help anybody, don't ask anybody for anything. Do you understand?

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: You're telling me we can't tear down our bathroom because George Washington came here and took a whiz?

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: Hey, look, are you capable of giving us a straight answer, or do we need to drag your narrow behind downtown, and you can finish your lunch at the stationhouse.
Preacher: You got Natty Bo on tap at your office, I'm in.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: So, you're just gonna walk out on me?
Pembleton: I didn't walk out on you Tim. We're not engaged; so don't act like I left you at the altar.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: How does your partner end up bumping his head if he was wearing a seatbelt and you were driving slowly?!?
Lewis: Well...you know Bayliss.

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Do you know what it is like, Frank, to work with Lewis? The man is a demon from another dimension!

TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street