Greg the Bunny Quotes
Greg: Oh my God! Oh my God! Stop! Sit! Play dead! Play paralyzed! Play anything! Just play it away from me!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Paintball Instructor: While the paintball is designed to not break the skin, oh, they do break the skin. They cause pain, welts, and -- if'n you're not wearing your goggles -- a little something I call "painteye." I.e., blindness.
Warren: Did he just say, "blindness."
Blah: Yeah, blah. He also said, "if'n."
Warren: Did he just say, "blindness."
Blah: Yeah, blah. He also said, "if'n."
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jack: We're going to Greg's place. He needs our help.
Blah: Why, what's wrong, blah?
Jack: There's no time to explain.
Blah: Wait a minute. There's plenty of time to explain, blah. Greg's place is, like, 40 minutes away.
Blah: Why, what's wrong, blah?
Jack: There's no time to explain.
Blah: Wait a minute. There's plenty of time to explain, blah. Greg's place is, like, 40 minutes away.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Oh, Chelsea wants. Look at you, man. You're on a shorter leash than her stupid dog. You know, we used to hang out. We used to play Nintendo. We used to melt stuff.
Jimmy: Oh, Greg, that's so cute. That you're jealous. I mean, don't worry. It's perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy. Just a tad bit gay.
Greg: Oh, yeah. Says the guy with the sweater tied around his shirt.
Jimmy: Oh, Greg, that's so cute. That you're jealous. I mean, don't worry. It's perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy. Just a tad bit gay.
Greg: Oh, yeah. Says the guy with the sweater tied around his shirt.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Chelsea: Hey, James. Winston had a little accident on your lawn.
Greg: Ooh, is he dead? Oh. That kind of accident.
Greg: Ooh, is he dead? Oh. That kind of accident.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: You organized the game.
Gil: I'm... not sure that's... true. Uh, Doris, would you find out who organized the paintball game, and why the ladies weren't invited?
Dottie: You're talking into a humidor.
Gil: Doris, what happened to my intercom?
Dottie: There is no Doris.
Gil: Edna, would you find out what happened to Doris?
Gil: I'm... not sure that's... true. Uh, Doris, would you find out who organized the paintball game, and why the ladies weren't invited?
Dottie: You're talking into a humidor.
Gil: Doris, what happened to my intercom?
Dottie: There is no Doris.
Gil: Edna, would you find out what happened to Doris?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: End of discussion.
Warren: No, it is not end of discussion, Gil! I do not want to sing this song with Dottie! I do not want to sing this song with Blah! I want to sing this song all by myself, you hear me? Me, me, me, me, me!
Gil: Warren, I really don't think this is the right attitude for "The Sharing Song."
Warren: No, it is not end of discussion, Gil! I do not want to sing this song with Dottie! I do not want to sing this song with Blah! I want to sing this song all by myself, you hear me? Me, me, me, me, me!
Gil: Warren, I really don't think this is the right attitude for "The Sharing Song."
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Dottie: Gil organized a big paintball war for this weekend. Apparently, shooting each other is supposed to promote office unity.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Teamwork. Two people of like mind working together for the common good. Nothing can beat it... Well, except maybe three people of like mind.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: That is one pissed off bunny.
Gil: I have a feeling this is going to end with puppets rioting in the streets. This is the Fozzie Bear verdict all over again.
Gil: I have a feeling this is going to end with puppets rioting in the streets. This is the Fozzie Bear verdict all over again.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Warren: Yes, you know, the boy is absolutely right. The way we puppets are depicted on television is deplorable.
Gil: You play a professor.
Warren: Not a good one. I'm drunk half the time.
Gil: You play a professor.
Warren: Not a good one. I'm drunk half the time.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jack: What do you get when you add two pieces of ice with one piece of ice?
Greg: What?
Jack: Threezing. Brrrr!
Greg: What?
Jack: Threezing. Brrrr!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: ...but the, uh, the truth is -- and it pains me to say this -- uh, that outfit makes you look, uh, fat. I mean, really, really heavy.
Alison: Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Like, morbidly obese. You know, like, people are going to say, you know, "What did he eat? Wilson Phillips?" She's not fat anymore, but there's three of them.
Alison: Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Like, morbidly obese. You know, like, people are going to say, you know, "What did he eat? Wilson Phillips?" She's not fat anymore, but there's three of them.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jack: I once saw a street puppet in an outfit like that get hit by a car. Flew 30 feet. Looked like a clown shot out of a cannon. Except there was no net, so it was... funny in a different way.
Warren: Oh, God. You know something? I wish one of the voices in your head would just tell you to shut the hell up.
Warren: Oh, God. You know something? I wish one of the voices in your head would just tell you to shut the hell up.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: ...then, he reached out--
Janice Lookalike: He touched you?!
Tardy: Nobody's 'upposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers!
Janice Lookalike: He touched you?!
Tardy: Nobody's 'upposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Dottie: Okay! She wasn't my friend, she was my maid! Okay?! My maid was a puppet! Is that what you wanted to hear?! Does that make you happy?!
Warren: Hey, my maid's a puppet. You know, she's terrible, but she's illegal, so I can pay her dirt.
Warren: Hey, my maid's a puppet. You know, she's terrible, but she's illegal, so I can pay her dirt.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: The philosopher Wittgenstein once wrote that, since it is through language that we think, it is language that limits us. And while the Puppish language may have 16 words for "furry," it apparently has no word for "Jimmy." If you ask me, that just blows.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: ...and our little friend, Greg... Beetle-Beetlejuice.
Greg: It's Bizzlebosh. I think. And don't say "Beetlejuice" two more times.
Greg: It's Bizzlebosh. I think. And don't say "Beetlejuice" two more times.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: So much of life comes down to choosing sides. Growing up, Jimmy and I were always on the same side. Mostly because no side ever wanted either one of us. Except in softball, where I was quite the stud. But, uh, you know, in all fairness, only because my strike zone is smaller than the ball.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg (angrily): They just want me to shut up and take my clothes off..
Jimmy: Why don't they get Warren to shut up and Dottie to take her clothes off?
Jimmy: Why don't they get Warren to shut up and Dottie to take her clothes off?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Dude, you were crying?
Greg: Oh, you're one to talk! You bawl like a baby every time you watch Rudy!
Jimmy: Yeah, because he's so little, but he tries so big...
Greg: Oh, you're one to talk! You bawl like a baby every time you watch Rudy!
Jimmy: Yeah, because he's so little, but he tries so big...
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Warren, you are a self-hating sock!
Warren: Self-hating sock with a mini-fridge.
Warren: Self-hating sock with a mini-fridge.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Tardy: [driving a forklift he has just picked up a bike rack with] Now I'm strong!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Are you okay, Dottie?
Dottie: (crying) Yes Greg, now go away
Greg: You don't look okay -- what's wrong?
Dottie: I can't tell you, it's too embarassing
Greg: Is it more embarrassing than peeing pants during a little league game and then to hide it you fall in a puddle but nobody buys it and everyone starts calling you "Puddle Pants"?
Dottie: Yeah it's more embarrassing.
Greg: Is it more embarrassing than seeing 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and you're so scared you pee youself so you pour soda on it but nobody buys it and everyone changes your nickname from "Puddle Pants" to "Pepsi Pants"?
Dottie: Yes Greg, it's more embarrassing.
Greg: Oh... then what's wrong?
Dottie: (crying) Yes Greg, now go away
Greg: You don't look okay -- what's wrong?
Dottie: I can't tell you, it's too embarassing
Greg: Is it more embarrassing than peeing pants during a little league game and then to hide it you fall in a puddle but nobody buys it and everyone starts calling you "Puddle Pants"?
Dottie: Yeah it's more embarrassing.
Greg: Is it more embarrassing than seeing 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and you're so scared you pee youself so you pour soda on it but nobody buys it and everyone changes your nickname from "Puddle Pants" to "Pepsi Pants"?
Dottie: Yes Greg, it's more embarrassing.
Greg: Oh... then what's wrong?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Dottie: Ira was really into MC Hammer. So one night I set up a video camera...and I danced around seductively to 'U Can't Touch This'...He said he's going to put the tape on the internet and then everyone will see it.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Hey, there he goes. He's pulling in to that scuzzy motel.
Warren: Oh, wow. I am having total deja vu. Oh, that's right -- I bring whores here.
Warren: Oh, wow. I am having total deja vu. Oh, that's right -- I bring whores here.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Leo: Alright, you're all such great actors -- why don't you act like you're putting your weapons down.
Blah: Jack, you were in 'Nam. What do you do when someone points a weapon at you, blah?
Jack: You spend three years in a bamboo cage.
Blah: Jack, you were in 'Nam. What do you do when someone points a weapon at you, blah?
Jack: You spend three years in a bamboo cage.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Warren: Leo, Warren Demontague. The pleasure is mutual. Looking forward to our scene together.
Leo: Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm playing a mailman, why would I be doing a scene with a dog?
Warren: I, sir, am an actor first, a puppet second, and an ape third! I am not a dog! But if I were, I would bite you thusly!
Leo: Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm playing a mailman, why would I be doing a scene with a dog?
Warren: I, sir, am an actor first, a puppet second, and an ape third! I am not a dog! But if I were, I would bite you thusly!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny