Greg the Bunny Quotes

Jimmy: Jack's never gonna find out.
Greg: Yeah, well, if he does, I'm leaving you my foot for good luck.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: You got to admit, Jack. It looks pretty similar.
Jack: Oh, I get it. It's another damn puppet conspiracy, like covering up Oscar's mob ties. Come on. We all know who controls sanitation from Fifth Avenue to Sesame Street.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: "Greg the Bunny is a filthy stinking sock who should die, blah." You know, people, if you don't put your names on the bottom of the paper, I'm not gonna know who wrote 'em.
Blah: That one was mine, blah.
Gil: I was kidding. I know it's yours. We're all aware of your ridiculous verbal tic.
Blah: Hey, blah me.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: See? Anti-puppetism is an extremely sensitive issue, Gil. Especially now during Puppet History Month.
Gil: Is it October already?

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: Can I have everyone's attention, please? We have a problem, and it could very easily turn into a situation.
Jack: That's network lingo for, "I've got to cover my ass."
Warren: Ho, not in that skirt, baby!

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Warren: Yeah, well, I'm telling you, that second-rate PBS hack doesn't even eat the cookies, OK? They just crumble up and fall right out of his mouth.
Greg: Mmm, first sign of bulimia.
Dottie: You know what I heard? I heard that Bert and Ernie are actually straight.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: I have to go to the bathroom.
Gil: Jimmy, why don't you go with him and make sure he doesn't fall in again.
Jimmy: Yeah, that's exactly what I got my Ph.D. for.
Gil: GED. Hey, I'm not some hot chick you're trying to impress at Bennigan's.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Dottie: Hmm. I don't know, Greg.
Greg: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: So what could've been Jimmy's worst day turned out to be his best. Not just because he got to see that hot girl in her underwear, but because he finally got to see how much his father really does care about him. And me, I got to have a cool adventure in a stolen car with a Goonie! Oh, and as far as Warren was concerned, Corey Feldman finally got what he deserved. And, incidentally, Jimmy's worst day did come the following Tuesday, when my new pal, Corey, gave me a videotape, and I brought it to work.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Corey Feldman--oh, you mean this was a setup?
Catholic Girl: No, no, no. I really am a horny, Catholic schoolgirl who just happened to be skinny dipping in your pool on my 18th birthday.
Jimmy: Once again, betrayed by porn.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: I hope he gets away. I--it's great seeing people stick it to authority.
Warren: Yes, I'll remember that the next time you give me an acting note.
Alison: Warren, "Sober up" is not an acting note.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: No, I'm just trying to explain--
Gil: No, no, no, you're not listening. I don't care. Here's what I do care about. Tapes getting to places. Lunches getting to people. Complainers getting back to work. Delivering the tapes and the lunches to the people and the places. See? That's your job. You're the gofer.
Gopher: Gopher? I thought I was the gopher? Are we getting a new gopher? Oh, God. I have to call my agent. I just bought a Porsche.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: We all have good days and bad days. The best day of my life was when the whole 4th grade started using my catchphrase, "Skatchamagowza!" Well, today, it was shaping up to be the best day of Jimmy's life.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: You know, as fun as that sounds, Warren, I don't have a car.
Warren: Alright, I tell you what. Um, if you're careful, you can take my Mercedes, Betsy.
Jimmy: You named your car?
Warren: Yes, in tribute to the woman with whom I lost my virginity. And, as I recall, I also paid too much for her.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: Jim. Jim, walk with me. Guess what my colleagues back at the network thought of today's script?
Jimmy: What?
Alison: Nothing. They didn't get it.
Jimmy: Well, you do need to know the whole alphabet to understand the jokes.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Hey, that's Corey Haim.
Corey Feldman: Corey Feldman!
Jimmy: What did I say?

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Hey, wait a minute! You're Corey Feldman!
Corey Feldman: I thought you were a stuffed animal.
Greg: I thought you were in rehab.
Corey Feldman: No, that was Corey Haim.
Greg: And what did I say?

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Ah! Well, Corey Feldman, this is nuts! Come on, man, you got so much to live for!
Corey Feldman: Like what?
Greg: Well, for one thing, you know, there might be a Goonies, Part 2.
Corey Feldman: Will you stop with the freakin' movies already! Jeez. All I've wanted all my life is just to be thought of as a normal person! I am a normal person! And all I want is to have a little love and happiness, and maybe spread a little joy throughout the world!
Greg: You mean like your character, Jessie, in Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever?

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: Quick, turn on the news! That stupid psycho, Warren, is in a police chase! Unbelievable. I knew he was unstable. I knew that he was gonna embarrass us with his drinking and his whoring and--
Warren: I'm right here!
Alison: Oh, Warren. You're standing right there. Oh, thank God you're okay. I was worried about you.
Warren: That's artfully done, Alison. You know, you turn faster than a young girl at Wellesley.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Look who it is. Mr. Brando. Welcome. Okay, you know what, fellas? You got a great appreciation for comedy. I got a joke for you. What do you get when you cross a half-wit bunny with a big disappointment?
Jimmy: What?
Gil: Out. That's what you get. You get out. You're fired.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Look, Greg, we had a deal. You support us while I finish medical school.
Greg: Oh, Jimmy, please. "Medical School" is a ridiculous name for a comic book.
Jimmy: It's a graphic novel. This is serious literature. See, the kid, and he breaks his arm, and the evil doctors come, and, "Where are you taking me?" "We're taking you to Medical School!"
Greg: Oh, Jesus, we're gonna starve.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: So, puppets and humans may seem different, but, you know, in the end, we all want the same things. Love, acceptance, and... to luck our way into a cushy job that we really don't deserve.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Jimmy, you know how hard it is for me to get a job out there. I am sick of working one day a year on Easter.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Hey, Jimmy. Didja see what's on TV?
Jimmy: What?
Greg: Not me!

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Alright, let me tell you something about television. I vouched for him to the network! Okay? I expressed an opinion! That's the kind of thing that ends careers in this business.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Sorry. It's just that, I mean, I--I love you! I--I've seen everything you've ever done! "Godspell," um, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat"...
Warren: Yes, well, if it was lame and about Jesus, I was there.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Wow. Count Blah, can I just say that you scared the piss out of me. And I mean that from the heart, sir.
Blah: Please. You may call me Blah, blah.
Greg: Okay. Blah Blah.
Blah: No. Just Blah... blah.
Greg: Just... Blah Blah.
Blah: Blah! My boy, it is simple. Just Blah... blah.
Greg: Just Blah... Blah.
Blah: Look, don't turn this into a frickin' Abbott and Costello routine, okay? Just call me Blah, and leave it at that.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: [singing] Snowball, snowball, what do you do with snowfall? You ball it up, and make it stick, and then you hurl it like a brick. Snowball, you are my best friend. Snowball, your love never ends. Whether you are white or yellow, you are sure my favorite fellow. Snowball, I'm in love with you. Snowball, you complete me. Snowball, you make me rock my world.
Alison: You're right. He's cute. He's quick. He does improv. He's like Robin Williams.
Gil: Yeah. Only not as furry.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Yes, Warren. Uh, we're having a little casting session in here. We're, uh, thinking of making a small cast change.
Warren: You spotty bastard! I give you the best years of my life, and this is how you repay me? Well, the joke's on you, you godless bloodsucker! I am an actor. Hmm-mm. Yes, I have range. And I don't need your insipid, little Moppet Show!
Gil: I just want you to read with the other actors, Warren. We're replacing Rochester.
Warren: Oh. Well, apparently, you do read the suggestion box.

TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: I know that. I know that. I'm as sentimental as the next person, Gil. Trust me, I'm so sentimental. But his--his fur is thinning, and his ears are drooping, and it's gross. We--we need to find the next Elmo if we're gonna reach a younger audience.
Gil: A younger audience? We already reach 4-year-olds. How young do you wanna go? Fetal?

TV Show: Greg the Bunny