Due South Quotes

Ray Vecchio: Look, you can reach me or "the world's nicest person" through this number.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Ray and Fraser are in a dumpster looking for evidence]
Ray Vecchio: You know, Fraiser, when I was a little boy, I used to dream of what it would be like to be a police officer. You know, shooting the bad guys, saving the girl. Being knee-deep in day-old chicken heads, looking for tainted meat was never a part of that dream.
Benton Fraser: Check that container there.
Ray: Why? If they wanted to hide something they just wouldn't have dumped it in here.
Fraser: Well, perhaps not this time. But garbage has a history, Ray. It always leaves something behind.
Ray: Yeah, and most if it seems to be on me. You know what really annoys me? Why am I covered in crud and you look like you just got back from a hand laundry?
Fraser: I don't know, I've always been this way.
Ray: [phone rings] Cia. It's Raymondo. [Fraser picks something off of Ray's coat] Ma! No, Ma, I did not forget the lettuce, okay?! [to Fraser] See a head of lettuce anywhere? Uh, Ma, yes I got it. Look, look...no, I gotta go, Fraser's picking lint off me again. Alright. Bye. [to Fraiser] Thanks, but I don't think it's gonna help.
Fraser: It might.
Ray: What is it?
Fraser: Parasites.
Ray: Those were on me?!
Fraser: Yes.
[Ray yells and jumps out of the dumpster]
Fraser: Ray?

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Ray is trying to shower, but his family keeps barging into the bathroom because Fraser's in there]
Francesca: [to Fraser] Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were in here!
Maria: Didn't know! She's been standing in the doorway, timing it so you'd be undressed.
Francesca: You're such a liar!
Ray: I am naked in here! Does that mean anything to anybody?!
Maria: Shut up!
Francesca: Oh, who cares?! [to Fraser] Here, you can use my towels.
Benton Fraser: Well thank you, but I'm afraid I'm not having a shower.
Francesca: Oh, don't be silly, it's really no trouble! [to Ray] Don't use all the hot water! [turns back to Fraser] I'll wait for mine.
Maria: Yeah, by the keyhole.
Francesca: You know, I've really had enough of your mouth!

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Anyone seen a Mountie?
[Zaleb invades Ray's personal bubble, clears his throat once, and then a second time when Ray doesn't move]
Ray: You got a problem with something?
Zaleb: You oughta move your foot.
Ray: Maybe I don't want to move my foot.
Zaleb: But if you don't move your foot, I can't get to that horse patty.
Ray: [looks down at foot then back up] Why would you want that horse patty?
Zaleb: I'm not telling.
Ray: Tell me why you want that horse patty and maybe I'll move my foot.
Zaleb: Never.
Ray: I'm a cop.
Zaleb: So what?
Ray: Do you want to serve time over a piece of manure?
Zaleb: I'd rather go to the chair than talk.
Ray: You know what I just decided? [Zaleb shakes his head] I've just decided you are so nuts, I'm gonna let you have that patty.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Benton Fraser: Excuse me. I was wondering if, before you leave...could I ask you a question?
Stephanie Cabot: Yes?
Fraser: Would it be possible for you to get me a breakdown of the various meat packers, the number of horses-
Stephanie: [laughs] You know, that is the most unique come-on I have ever heard!
Fraser: I don't follow you.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Fraser: Ray, what's a "come-on"?

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Yo! Manure man!
Zaleb Carney: Leave me alone.
Ray: Look, I just came to apologize. I shoulda never said you were nuts. You obviously do this for a very good reason, and you probably make a pretty good living at it, too.
Zaleb: [suspiciously] You're not thinking of going into this yourself?
Ray: You mean scooping? I have no immediate plans.
Zaleb: An excellent living.
Ray: Really.
Zaleb: I collect and sell it for fertilizer.
Ray: So you must know your-
Zaleb: Like nobody else.
Ray: So where do you find it all?
Zaleb: Stables, pony rides, but they're not my biggest source...
Ray: Meat packing plants.
Zaleb: The mother load.
Ray: Let me ask you a question. Have you noticed any subtle differences in the product at these various plants?
Zaleb: I'll check my database.
Ray: Great. Here's my card, give me a call. And to show my appreciation, I'm gonna point out that you missed something really nice behind that bucket, there.
Zaleb: Why, thank you!

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Ray and Fraser are trapped inside a meat locker. Both have meat wrapped around them and Ray is wearing Fraser's Stetson]
Ray Vecchio: Some people die in their sleep. Others die making love to a beautiful woman. I am going to die wrapped in meat.
Benton Fraser: Don't talk, Ray. You're expending body heat.
Ray: I'm going to freeze to death inside My Friend Flicka.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Vince Leggett: This better be real important.
Packer: We got a cop and a Mountie in the freezer.
Leggett: [Laughing] That's what I love about the meat business. Brings something new everyday.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Packer opens the door to the meat locker where Ray and Fraser are wrapped in meat]
Packer: Shoot 'em!
[Fraser leaps into action, warding off the thugs. A thug shoots at Fraser, but Fraser uses a solid, meat-wrapped, Ray as a shield. He and Ray quickly exit the meat locker]
Ray Vecchio: He shot me!
Benton Fraser: The bullet couldn't penetrate the frozen meat.
[Fraser locks the door and adjusts the temperature]
Ray: You used me as a human shield! [whispering] I can't believe you did that!

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Fraser and Stephanie helped Mrs. Gamez move back into her apartment]
Mrs. Gamez: And I really want to thank him for everything he has done. In fact, I want to give him a big hug, but I'm afraid I will wrinkle him.
Stephanie: I know what you mean.

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
[Mario has just spent some time listening to Ray talk about his policeman adventures]
Benton Fraser: [Ray has just exited] Thanks. I think you really made his day.
Mario Gamez: It's okay, he actually was interesting.
Fraser: Really? Hmm...

TV Show: Due South



TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Fraser, there are hundreds of places that make pizza. What I'm looking for here is the perfect pizza at the perfect price.
Benton Fraser: Which is?
Ray: Free. And that's exactly what this'll be in 34 seconds. There's no way he can get a pizza here from Michigan Avenue in under a half-hour.
Fraser: You mean you're using some promotional ploy in order to get something for nothing?
Ray: Welcome to the United States of America, Fraser.

TV Show: Due South
[Fraser has jumped from the top of a building onto a stolen, speeding car]
Benton Fraser: Please stop immediately. This is not your automobile!

TV Show: Due South
[Diefenbaker is chasing a stolen car]
Benton Fraser: [about Dief] Stop him!
Ray Vecchio: Un-mush! Un-mush!
[Dief slips by Ray and continues chasing the car]
Fraser: Where's your car?
Ray: Lot B. You ought to get that dog a hearing aid!

TV Show: Due South
[Repeated line]
Fraser: Thank you kindly.

TV Show: Due South

Mark Smithbauer: I can't sleep.
Fraser: What is it?
Mark Smithbauer: It's 7 p.m.

TV Show: Due South

Colonel Shank: [to Fraser and Ray] Now you have been spared the full weight of these penalties thanks to the intercession of the city of Chicago and the government of Canada. Both of whom have requested leniency, claiming, er, diminished mental capacity.

TV Show: Due South