Criminal Minds Quotes

JJ: She's in surgery, there's no word.
Reid: This is crazy.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Emily: Where's Morgan?
JJ: He's not answering his cell.
Reid: I'll call him again.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
JJ: [Morgan walks in] She's been in surgery a couple hours.
Morgan: I was in church; my phone was off.
Reid: There's nothing you could have been doing here.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotch: [considering if the killer shot Garcia just to steal her purse.] Why does he risk coming into an enclosed courtyard?
Rossi: World's boldest purse-snatching?

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: [Referring to Garcia] I asked her to go out last night but she was pissed at me; she blew me off.
Reid: So you ended up at church?
Morgan: Yeah, what does it mean? On one hand if she had gone out with me she would have never got shot. On the other hand, what are the odds the first time I pray in 20 years she's on the table?

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: [To Reid and Morgan] When I was in the ambulance I could hear the song "Heroes" playing in my head. I kept flashing in and out of consciousness and I remember thinking, "Wait. Is David Bowie really God?"

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: Have fun getting out the wormhole.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: Go. Be free, my love.
Morgan: Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
Garcia: Oh, I'm fine. I got my goon squad parked out front.
Morgan: Goon squad or not goon squad, that couch right there is going to be my best friend until we catch this guy. Now leave it alone.
Garcia: Okay... But if you're thinking of trying to take advantage of me, let me call my doctor so you can revive me afterwards. [They both laugh]
Morgan: Hey, Silly Girl.
Garcia: Hmm?
Morgan: I love you, you know that, right?
Garcia: I love you, too.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Emily: [To Garcia] Oh, don't worry about your reenstatement papers: he'll sign them as soon as his hands stop shaking.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: [Handing Garcia a gun] Take this and stay put.
Garcia: No no no, I don't believe in guns!
Morgan: Well trust me they're very real. Now take it.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: Honey, I know you love me, but the prospect of you whirling around here trying to fix this is actually more frightening than getting shot.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Reid: "Superman is, after all, an alien life form. He is simply the acceptable face of invading realities." Author Clive Barker.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Reid: You should have listened to me.
Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid. Let it go.
Reid: The interchange between to 405 and 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Morgan: Why do you know that?
Reid: It's in the government report.
Morgan: So what?
Reid: So, you work for the government. You don't read the reports?
Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city twenty-five hundred miles away from where I live?
Reid: Twenty-two hundred and ninety-five miles.
Morgan: Do not make me smack you in front of all these people.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Reid: Sometimes for an artist, the only difference between insanity and genius is success.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: [on the phone with Garcia] Just leave it alone until I get there. Hey, hey, hardhead. Don't make me spank you when I get back.
Reid: Don't listen to him Garcia, he's all talk. [Morgan smacks Reid's head] Ow! JJ, he just hit me!
JJ: [not looking up] Boys, behave or I will ground you both.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: Hey, do you know who Frank Miller is?
Morgan: Frank Miller... Sounds familiar. Un-sub?
Garcia: [laughs] No, graphic novelist. 300? Sin City?
Morgan: Oh, right, right, right. Cool movies.
Garcia: He said something once and it makes me think of you. "The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotch: The American poet Anne Sexton once wrote "It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotch: You ok?
JJ: You stop caring, you're jaded. If you care too much, it'll ruin you.
Hotch: Just know that you did everything you could. Sometimes we get it right with a little luck and most of the times we don't. That's the job. It's never perfect. It's still better to care.
JJ: You really believe that?
Hotch: I believe it's never perfect.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
[Reid is looking through Mr Vaughan's computer]
Mr Vaughan: Um... Can I help you?
Reid: Um... hey... um... I was just, uh, checking to see if Lindsey had contacted anyone- P-predators tend to do that.
Mr Vaughan: Is that right?
Reid: Yeah, um, statistically, uh, forty three percent of predators-
Mr Vaughan: Lindsey doesn't like computers.
Reid: Oh. [pause] Cool.
[walks out quickly]

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotch: "It is a wise father who knows his own child." William Shakespeare.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Rossi: "I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury, fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils." Euripides.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Rossi: "For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world, and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won." - Lucille Maud Montgomery

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Rossi: "...within the core of each of us is the child we once were. This child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be." Neuroscientist Dr. R. Joseph.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: There is really no acceptable excuse for violence, but for you I am making an exception. [opens the front door] Oh my God, Agent Rossi!

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: I might be in big trouble.
JJ: [looking at her files, sarcastically] Come on in.
Garcia: I can't believe he showed up at my apartment.
JJ: It's not like I'm doing anything here...
Garcia: We just had a seminar on fraternization last week!
JJ: I really have a lot of work to do, Garcia...
Garcia: So you don't want to hear how Agent Rossi showed up at my door in the middle of the night while I was enjoying a post-coital shower with fellow FBI technical analyst Kevin Lynch?
JJ: [head snaps up] Sit.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
JJ: So, you were in the shower with Kevin Lynch?
Garcia: Come on, JJ. I'm being serious. I need your help.
JJ: With what?
Garcia: Agent Rossi. We're not supposed to date fellow Bureau employees.
JJ: From what I hear, Rossi is the reason most of these fraternization rules even exist. He's not gonna say anything, relax. Wait, what was Rossi doing at you apartment?
Garcia: Well that's a good- I'm not supposed to tell anyone.
JJ: Why?
Garcia: I didn't press the issue. I was all naked and drippy.
JJ: Right. Doesn't showering with someone always seem like a better idea before you're actually doing it?
Garcia: Yeah, it can be a bit of a work out.
JJ: I mean there comes a point where a girl's gotta wash her hair alone, you know...

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: You got any idea what Rossi was working on?
JJ: I think Garcia might know. He stopped by her place last night.
Morgan: What?
Prentiss: Why?
Garcia: I'm really not supposed to say cause he said he wanted to keep it between us.
Prentiss: He might need our help.
Garcia: He didn't ask anyone for help!
Prentiss: Penelope, Rossi is a guy who color-codes his handwritten notes in his notebooks; Blue pen for evidentiary items, red pen for supposition and theory. The guy is a fussy, anal retentive neat-freak who never leaves anything out of it's place. I would say this - [gestures to Rossi's messy office] - is a scream for help.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: [mortified that Kevin will talk with Rossi about their relationship] If you get within a hundred feet of Agent Rossi, I will unleash an unrecoverable virus onto your personal computer system that will reduce your electronic world into something between a Commodore 64, and a block of government cheese.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Kevin: Agent Rossi we need to talk....about Penelope......man-to-man.
Rossi: Man-to-man?
Morgan: What about Penelope?
JJ: [in a sing-song voice] Garcia and Kevin sitting in a tree... [walks away]
Morgan: Get out of here... you serious? [walks away]
Prentiss: Just when I thought that nothing scandalous was ever going to happen around here.
Reid: What? What does that mean?
Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?
Reid: The song meant something? No. No, I missed it!
Prentiss: It... it... it... You know what? Never mind.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotchner: "There is no formula for success, except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." Arthur Rubinstein.

TV Show: Criminal Minds