YuYu Hakusho Quotes

[Akashi is laughing on the floor as Kuwabara trudges away, disappointed at his test score]
Takenaka: [walking up behind Akashi] "Find something funny, Mr. Akashi?"
Akashi: [hurriedly standing up] "Did you see that, Mr. Takenaka? That hoodlum nearly wrung my neck!"
Takenaka: "Yes, and I think if someone had corrupted my answer sheet the way that you and Mr. Iwamoto did to that boy, I would've wrung your neck too!"
Akashi: [taken aback] "But wait! I don't know what you mean!"
Takenaka: [grabbing Akashi by the collar] "I'm sure that you know how precious the honor system is at this junior high so I'd appreciate it greatly if you didn't lie to my face! Now, you're going to correct that score immediately!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
[After Kuwabara's test is corrected and Takenaka lets Okubo keep his job, Yusuke and Botan watch the four boys walk away]
Yusuke: "I tried to stop him from hittin' that teacher as a reflex. I didn't think he'd hear me."
Botan: "Kuwabara didn't really hear what you said to him, you know."
Yusuke: "Say what?"
Botan: "They can't hear words unless they're asleep, but you can communicate feelings to living people when they're on the same emotional wavelength. See? You reached Kuwabara with your feelings."
Yusuke: "Hey, gimme a break! Everything's going fine and then you have to get mushy!"
Botan: [amused] "You don't have to be embarrassed."
[the pair notice Kuwabara looking up in their direction]
Yusuke: "Shut up, will you? I think he can hear us talking about him!"
Botan: "Don't worry Yusuke, he definitely can't see us or hear us, though there's a good chance he can feel you after what you went through together."
Kuwabara: [quietly] "Thank you, man."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Sayaka: "Now are we absolutely certain that Keiko wants Yusuke to come back to life again? After all, there's a great deal of manpower involved in making one of these life recoveries run smoothly. There's no point in doing it if the people closest to you don't care!"
Yusuke: "Hey, look. This ordeal thing wasn't my idea, so don't throw me a guilt trip. And as for Keiko, how am I supposed to know? It's clear that if she had any sense she'd want me gone."
Botan: "She wants you back."
Yusuke: "You think so?" [squishes his face with his hands, mocking Keiko] "She always looks at me like this. 'Hey Yusuke, come to school!' 'Hey Yusuke, that's not the right uniform!'" [takes his hands away] "Yeah, she probably just wants me around so she can yell at me and get a better reputation with her teachers."
Botan: "Why do you say things you don't mean? You know she only scolds you because she actually cares about you. Sayaka, I've learned not to listen to him most of the time. He's just embarrassed, is all. He's got the cutest crush on Keiko!"
Yusuke: "Botan! Why don't you nail your stupid mouth shut?!"
Botan: "Why don't you get over your stupid cuties and admit that you like her, Yusuke?!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Sayaka: "Hmm...smart, athletic, friendly but stern with her friends...her scores are next to perfect! This attraction between Yusuke and Keiko must obviously be one-sided."
Yusuke: "I can hear you."

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Sayaka: "The house is on fire."
Botan: "Yes, it seems so."
Yusuke: "My house is on fire! My mom didn't even have the decency to lock the windows for me!"
Botan: "Yusuke, uh, maybe we should focus on other things."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Yusuke: "Keiko, forget about me! You're a lot more important to this world than I am! Don't be stupid! Go back!"
Sayaka: "You do know that without your body you can't come back, don't you?"
Yusuke: "What's the point of being alive if Keiko has to get killed for it?"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Yusuke: "Botan! Please, there's gotta be something I can do!"
Botan: "I'm sorry, Yusuke. I've tried everything in my power."
Sayaka: "There is one way...but you may not be willing to do it."
Yusuke: "I'll decide that for myself! Tell me!"
Sayaka: "You can save her life by using the power that's been gathered by the Spirit Beast you've been carrying with you."
Yusuke: "What?" [pulls out the egg] "You mean this little guy?"
Sayaka: "Throw it in the fire, and it will unleash from the egg and save her."
Yusuke: "And that's all I have to do? Why didn't you say so?"
Sayaka: "But if you hatch the Spirit Beast now, before it's ready, it won't be able to perform its usual duties."
Botan: "So does that mean...if he saves Keiko's life, the beast won't be able to bring Yusuke back?"
Sayaka: "Right. Yusuke will never have a chance to be alive in this world again."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Yusuke: "So my life for hers, huh? I wish someone had told me this morning that I'd make this kind of choice."
Sayaka: "Your time is short, I'm afraid."
Yusuke: [looking at the egg in his hand] "Oh well...it was a good dream." [turns and throws the egg into the fire] "KEIKO!!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Kuwabara: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YUSUKE'S BODY?!"
Keiko: "I promise I'll tell you everything, but not right now. We've got to get him somewhere safe."
Kuwabara: "ARE YOU SOME TYPE OF SICK GRAVE-ROBBER?!" [throws Yusuke's body over his shoulder and grabs Keiko's hand, running down the street] "Well, come on! We can't let the police get a hold of you!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Botan: "Yusuke...things aren't going to be so easy on you for a while. You can't just wander around here anymore; I'll have to take you back. I don't know who Keiko will love in the future, but you cannot interfere. There's no point in her saving her heart for someone she will never have...like you."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
[After Yusuke gives up his Spirit Beast, his mother and his friends are talking to his body, thinking he's coming back]
Yusuke: [angrily] "This is so stupid! Isn't someone gonna tell them that they're just talking to a dead body? Stop apologizing, Mom, I'll never be around to say it's okay! I'm dead for good!"
Botan: "It's so sad."
Sayaka: "It can't be helped. He made this decision on his own."
Yusuke: "Okay Botan, just take me to Heaven or Hell or wherever it is I'm going. I'm tired of being here."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Koenma: "Yusuke, you've shown to have more character than I thought. I've been trying to figure out whether people around you really want you back. Contrary to my personal opinion, they actually do. More importantly, you've exhibited astounding potential to be a decent human being. Because this trait is so rare, I've decided to give you another chance. In retrospect, it was a very good thing you threw this egg into the fire. If you had allowed it to hatch, the Spirit Beast, which had been feeding off your constant negative energy, would not have been a pretty sight. It would have bitten your head off. But as you and I know, that's not what happened. You threw the egg into the fire without hesitation, saving Keiko's life at the cost of your own. You have a special quality buried underneath all that crap, and your added experience with death could make you very useful."
Yusuke: [flabbergasted] "You think I'm useful?!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
[in Yusuke's new apartment]
Yusuke: "Nice pad. My mom must've had good fire insurance. So are you going to put me back in my body now?"
Koenma: "Not just yet. Energy of the body and energy of the soul have their own wavelengths. Unless the two are perfectly aligned, they cannot join, which won't happen until tomorrow."
Yusuke: [excitedly] "Wow! Starting tomorrow I'll be a human with real fists and everything!"
Koenma: "Well, that's the best case scenario. There is a small problem: the frequencies of your wavelengths, interestingly enough, are lower than most people. If you miss this chance tomorrow, you'll have to wait awhile to realign."
Yusuke: "What are we talking about, like weeks or months?"
Koenma: "Fifty-two years."
Yusuke: [aghast] "Fifty-two years?!"
Koenma: "Yes, but I think it would be wise if you tried to do it tomorrow instead, and in order for that to happen you'll need someone in the Living World who cares about you at least a little bit to donate their life energy."
Yusuke: "You mean like a human sacrifice?"
Koenma: "Are you kidding? I'm not evil. They must give it to you...through the lips!" [seeing Yusuke's horrified expression] "I don't see what's surprising about that; haven't you heard of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Kuwabara: [waking up screaming] "It's terrifying! I didn't know nightmares could be so bad!"
[in his dream, Kuwabara held Yusuke's glowing body and kissed him]
Kuwabara: [screaming again] "GAH!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Yusuke: "Come on Kuwabara, get your head out of that damn game and listen to me! I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything, but please please please just kiss me!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Koenma: "Five more minutes. What will you do if she doesn't make it in time?"
Yusuke: "The only thing I can do: wait around another fifty years. Then I'll go see Keiko when she's an old hag!"

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[Keiko has kissed Yusuke just as the clock struck twelve, but he doesn't wake up]
Keiko: "Please come back. I need you. Yusuke, please!" [starts crying] "Yusuke! No, don't go! No! Yusuke!"
Koenma: "She didn't make it."
Botan: [looking around in confusion] "Huh?"
[Keiko is still crying at Yusuke's bedside when he takes a breath, opens his eyes and slowly sits up, looking at her]
Yusuke: "Hey, nice kiss."
Keiko: [throwing her arms around Yusuke, tears of joy running down her cheeks] "Oh, Yusuke!"

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Thug 1: "Pardon us sir. Could we borrow a little cash?"
Thug 2: "You see, we've lost our wallets and we need to call our moms."
Thug 1: "You remember how the Golden Rule works, don'tcha?"
Thug 2: "Just give us all the money you've got on, okay?"
Yusuke: "Are you guys talking...to me?"
Thug 1: "Eh?"
Yusuke: "I mean, you see me?"
Thug 2: [clenches one hand into a fist] "Who else would we be threatening, buddy?"
[Yusuke gets misty-eyed and holds Thug 2's fist in his hands]
Yusuke: "I can talk trash to people and even touch them! To be alive is a wonderful thing!" [sighs happily and walks off]
Thug 2: "How dare you! You can't touch me!"
Thug 1: "Leave 'im alone; it ain't right to mess with the crazies."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
[Kuwabara has been blackmailed into stealing merchandise, which goes against his honor code]
Kuwabara: [entering the coffee shop with his gang] "Eikichi! Eikichi, where are you?"
Sakamoto: "She's safe here with me. Now let's see what you've got there."
[Kuwabara takes three comic books out of a bag and throws them on the table]
Kuwabara: "There. I got you several kinds; I didn't know what you liked."
Sakamoto: "Well isn't that very interesting, Kuwabara." [holds up a small piece of paper] "Didn't know they gave receipts for stealing!"
Kuwabara: "What difference does it make? I gave you the comic books, now give me Eikichi!"
Sakamoto: "Fool. You've missed the point entirely. I was trying to teach you the thrill of stealing things. This is not what we agreed upon! Now apologize. You heard me. Get on your knees and apologize for being wrong."
Okubo: "Never!"
Komada: "Don't push it, Sakamoto!"
Kuwabara: "Quiet!" [falls to his hands and knees]
Okubo: "Kuwabara, don't!"
Kuwabara: "I'm...sorry, Sakamoto. I was wrong."
Rugafuji Punk 1: "What's that? You were mumbling."
Kuwabara: "I'm sorry I was wrong!"
[the Rugafuji punks laugh]
Yusuke: [in another booth, thinking to himself] "Whoa! This Eikichi girl must be something special to make him sink that low."
Rugafuji Punk 1: "You're pathetic."
Rugafuji Punk 2: "You might as well give us your backbone, too."
Rugafuji Punk 3: [pulling a kitten out of a bag] "I just can't believe you're doing all that for a retarded fuzzball!"
Kuwabara: "Eikichi!"
[Yusuke falls over in shock]

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Rugafuji Punk 1: "It's...that guy! It's Yusuke Urameshi!"
Kuwabara: "You...you've really come back from the dead!"
Yusuke: "That's right, and I'm in the mood for a relaxing throwdown!"

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Yusuke: [handing Eikichi to Kuwabara] "Here! Hold this guy, wouldja?"
Kuwabara: "Hey! It's a she!"

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Mysterious Fortuneteller: "You have all that's required to be detective of the Spirit World."
Yusuke: "That's a fancy title. What do they do?"
Mysterious Fortuneteller: "You'll learn soon enough, Yusuke. The appointment is mandatory."
Yusuke: "Whoa, slow down! How the hell do you know my name?"
Mysterious Fortuneteller: "Don't get fussy! I hope you know mine, too!" [takes off her hood, revealing herself to be Botan]

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Yusuke: [after being told that his first case as Spirit Detective starts tomorrow] "Well, so much for the good old R and R."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Kurama: "The footage must be provocative. I confess there was even a time when I wanted to see it." [seeing Yusuke's look] "Was, was."
Yusuke: [thinking] "Geez, he's making me paranoid."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Kurama: "Koenma knows the exact identity of our foe."
Yusuke: "He WHAT?!"
Kurama: "I've planned a formal meeting to..." [trails off when he notices Yusuke is gone]
Yusuke: [into Botan's briefcase] "Earth to toddler bitch! You better speak now before I forever stick that pacifier ten inches down your throat!"
Kurama: [thinking] "Not quite what I planned."

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Mitarai: "Have you ever seen hundreds of frightened people, waiting in line to be killed in a camp? Have you seen horsemen raid and destroy a village, dancing on the bodies of their victims while singing happy songs? Have you ever seen a gigantic bomb wipe away millions who have never even picked up a weapon?! A civil war, where a mom is hacked down in front of her child, or a child in front of his mom. And the soldier...breaking up a family who loves each other, leading them into a fire...and his eyes enjoying the torture."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Shizuru: [to a teary-eyed Keiko] "C'mon kid, I think you're way past your sympathy limit."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Kuwabara: "When men do what they're supposed to do, it's not always about what they want."

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho
Mitarai: "You're Yusuke..."
Yusuke: "That's right, Goldie. And that's my bed you're sleepin' in, thanks to the human freight train there, dragging you in so we could stitch you back up."

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Atsuko: You fool! Why? What were you thinking, Yusuke? No one gave you permission to die! You got hit by a car, strong people live through that! Were you mad at me, Yusuke, were you mad? Didn't I raise you good enough?

TV Show: YuYu Hakusho