Wonderfalls Quotes

Brass Monkey: Lick the light-switch.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Jaye: [to Brass Monkey] Tell me why you talk to me!
Brass Monkey: Because... you listen.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Jaye: I couldn’t stand the thought of spending another day looking at those faces with their stupid little mouths constantly running and making all sorts of unreasonable demands on me.
Mahandra: Are you sure you should be in a customer service industry?

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Aaron: St. Paul was just a punk until he was blinded by the light, and Gandhi was just drinking and whoring it up with his friends until he heard the cry of his people.
Jaye: And Neo was just a geek until he swallowed that little red pill.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Bill: Thank you for supporting this imperialist establishment. Enjoy your purchase and have a racist day!

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Bill: They really look up to me!
Jaye: Yeah, you made them sit down.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Sharon: Behind this door is one very dehydrated, very angry, and very litigious woman! Pry, man! Pry!

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Caged Bird: Let him go!

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Wade: Is this one of those stores that gives its employees a cash bonus when they apprehend a shoplifter?
Jaye: Ten percent of whatever they were gonna steal! One time I accidentally left the watch case open and I got, like, 500 bucks.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Jaye: I make good life choices — mostly because they’re forced on me — but I make them, and I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We’re all fate’s bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.

TV Show: Wonderfalls
Alec: No! Please, don’t kill me! I can’t die! I’ve never been with a woman!
Bank robber: [to Sharon] You...
Sharon: I have been with a woman!

TV Show: Wonderfalls
[Eric is holding a bag full of Wonderfalls souvenirs.]
Eric: I'd like to return these items.
Jaye: Did they break? 'Cause we sell a lot of crap here.

TV Show: Wonderfalls