Top Gear Quotes

Jeremy: (voiceover) I brought in our special weapons man who had learned in the armed forces how to have a pixellated face.

TV Show: Top Gear
Jeremy: [after learning they couldn’t enter Iran being from the BBC] I bet the original three wise men never had this problem.
Richard: But they weren’t BBC were they?

TV Show: Top Gear
James: [to the tune of ‘We Three Kings’] We three kings from orient afar,
One in a Vauxhall, two in sports cars…

TV Show: Top Gear
James: [pointing to his large spotlight] This is the Light of the World.

TV Show: Top Gear
Jeremy: [before plunging into a ditch] Follow me! [gets stuck] Don't follow me!

TV Show: Top Gear
James: [on being in the Nativity Play as a child] I was a shepherd because I had a dressing gown.

TV Show: Top Gear
[when their 'Sneak across Syria' plan has failed with them driving to their hotel disguised in Burkas where they see a "Welcome Top Gear" banner at the entrance]
James: I've appeared on TV in drag for nothing!

TV Show: Top Gear
James: I've finally found a present for Jeremy. Oil of Tact.

TV Show: Top Gear
Jeremy: I'm now driving my car of many colours, and many cylinders, into Jordan. A country famous for not having Bethlehem in it.

TV Show: Top Gear
James: There is a place reserved in Hell for the man who put that gearbox in that car. And it's the ratios - it's a case of many are called, but few are chosen. And many who are first shall be fourth and many who are third will actually kick-down into second.

TV Show: Top Gear
Richard: [after seeing that part of his car's rear body had fallen off] My arse! I've lost a buttock!

TV Show: Top Gear
[on a stop by the Sea of Galilee]
Jeremy: [removing the bandage from James' head] You are healed. I have healed you.
James: You took the bandage off!

TV Show: Top Gear
James: [in the stable at the end of the show] Come, let us see this child that has been born unto us.
Jeremy: Yes, let's.
Richard: Yes...
[Hammond moves aside the blanket and gasps. O Fortuna plays as the camera reveals the Baby Stig]
James: ... Well, I wasn't expecting that.
Jeremy: ...And on that bombshell...!

TV Show: Top Gear