The Young Ones Quotes

Vyvyan: Rick, Shut Up, or I'll tell everybody here that you have an iron-on cartoon worm on the back of your Y-fronts that says "Girl Bait".
Rick: Oh! Been going through my Y-fronts, have you, Vyvyan? I suppose you fancy me, is that it?
Vyvyan[panics]: Yes! As a matter of fact, I do, Rick! I really, really fancy you! And I wanna give you a big girly kiss on the bottom!
Rick[Creeped Out]: [stammers] You hear that, Mike? Vyvyan's gone all funny! He says he wants to kiss my bottom!
Vyvyan: Did I say "kiss you on the bottom?" Oh, I beg your pardon, I meant to say "stick a pickaxe through your spinal column"!

TV Show: The Young Ones
Rick: I can't believe it. My parents... are dead.
Neil: You think that's bad...
Rick: Well yes I do actually! What's it to you piss-face?!

TV Show: The Young Ones
Neil: Oh wow. I never knew I wore a wig. Eugggh.

TV Show: The Young Ones
God: Hello, I'm God. Well, you didn't expect me to be a woman, now, did you?

TV Show: The Young Ones
[As the boys are about to rob a bank with pistols]
Mike: Now whatever you do, don't go losing your heads and using them!
Vyvyan: Why not, Mike?!
Rick: Yeah, why not? Those bank clerks didn't have to become bank clerks! They knew the risks when they took the job. Now let's just get in there and let 'em have it!
Mike: Rick, we can't do that, because if we do, there's a very good chance they'll discover that these are water pistols.

TV Show: The Young Ones
[After the bus they were riding in has crashed to the bottom of a ravine]
The Guys: Phew! That was close!
[The bus explodes]

TV Show: The Young Ones

Vyvyan: I've made a potion that turns you into an axe-wielding homicidal maniac.
Vyvyan: It's a cure, really. For not being an axe-wielding homicidal maniac.

TV Show: The Young Ones

Vyvyan: You can't clean the toilet, Neil - it'll lose all its character!

TV Show: The Young Ones