The West Wing Quotes
Leo: Even when they're here in session, getting a hundred senators in line is still like trying to get cats to walk in a parade.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: I don't need your help. I'm asking for your help so let's not make a federal...
Ainsley: [into her phone] Dad, it's me. Sam's asking for my help.
Sam: Put the phone down.
Ainsley: [into her phone] Gotta go, dad, I need to help Sam.
Sam: That must have rolled them in the aisles back in Georgia.
Ainsley: I'm from North Carolina.
Sam: Wherever it was you studied baton twirling.
Ainsley: That'd be Harvard Law School.
Ainsley: [into her phone] Dad, it's me. Sam's asking for my help.
Sam: Put the phone down.
Ainsley: [into her phone] Gotta go, dad, I need to help Sam.
Sam: That must have rolled them in the aisles back in Georgia.
Ainsley: I'm from North Carolina.
Sam: Wherever it was you studied baton twirling.
Ainsley: That'd be Harvard Law School.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: So, I'm being used.
Josh: Yes.
Donna: As a dupe.
Josh: Yes.
Donna: How am I supposed to feel about that?
Josh: How do you usually feel about that?
Donna: My value here is that I have no value.
Josh: You have enormous value to me. You have absolutely no value to Eastern Europe.
Josh: Yes.
Donna: As a dupe.
Josh: Yes.
Donna: How am I supposed to feel about that?
Josh: How do you usually feel about that?
Donna: My value here is that I have no value.
Josh: You have enormous value to me. You have absolutely no value to Eastern Europe.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: Why's a test-ban treaty so important? Let me tell you. In 1974, India set off a peaceful nuclear explosion. Indira Gandhi herself said they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could. Twenty years later India sets off five nuclear explosions. Who gets nervous? Pakistan. And when Pakistan gets nervous, everybody get nervous. You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna die.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: The Assistant Energy Secretary is flying to Portland in the middle of the night so he can meet with me on Air Force One on the way back?
Charlie: Yes sir.
Bartlet: The day-to-day experience of my life has changed in many ways since taking this job.
Charlie: Yes sir.
Bartlet: The day-to-day experience of my life has changed in many ways since taking this job.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: There's a Korean word, Han. I looked it up. There is no literal English translation. It's a state of mind. Of soul, really. A sadness. A sadness so deep no tears will come. And yet, still, there's hope.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: Oratory should raise your heart rate. Oratory should blow the doors off the place. We should be talking about not being satisfied with past solutions. We should be talking about a permanent revolution.
Toby: Where have I heard that?
Sam: Permanent Revolution?
Toby: Yeah.
Sam: I got it from a book.
Toby: What book?
Sam: The Little Red Book
Toby: You think we should quote Mao Tse-tung?
Sam: We do need a permanent revolution.
Toby: Still, I think we'll stay away from quoting Communists.
Sam: You think a Communist never wrote an elegant phrase? How do you think they got everyone to be Communist?
Toby: Where have I heard that?
Sam: Permanent Revolution?
Toby: Yeah.
Sam: I got it from a book.
Toby: What book?
Sam: The Little Red Book
Toby: You think we should quote Mao Tse-tung?
Sam: We do need a permanent revolution.
Toby: Still, I think we'll stay away from quoting Communists.
Sam: You think a Communist never wrote an elegant phrase? How do you think they got everyone to be Communist?
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: A long flight across the night. You know why late flights are good? Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality. Asking important questions. Talking about the idea that nobody has thought about yet. Put it a different way...
Sam: Be poets.
Sam: Be poets.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: I have an excellent sense about these things.
Josh: Actually, you have no sense about these things. You have no vibe, you have terrible taste in men, and your desire to be coupled up will always and forever drown out any sense of self or self-worth that you may have.
Donna: You're a downer, you know that? I'm calling you Deputy Downer from now on.
Josh: Actually, you have no sense about these things. You have no vibe, you have terrible taste in men, and your desire to be coupled up will always and forever drown out any sense of self or self-worth that you may have.
Donna: You're a downer, you know that? I'm calling you Deputy Downer from now on.
TV Show: The West Wing
Danny: [asking why C.J is going on the Portland Trip] Are you being punished?
C.J.: I'm not being punished. I'm going on the trip.
Danny: If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip?
C.J.: [hesitating] I made fun of Notre Dame. [after a silence from the journalists] Usually I get away with it.
Danny: They're playing Michigan tomorrow.
C.J.: I know that now.
Danny: You can't do that when they're playing Michigan.
C.J.: I'm not being punished. I'm going on the trip.
Danny: If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip?
C.J.: [hesitating] I made fun of Notre Dame. [after a silence from the journalists] Usually I get away with it.
Danny: They're playing Michigan tomorrow.
C.J.: I know that now.
Danny: You can't do that when they're playing Michigan.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: Over three and a half centuries ago, linked by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty, a small band of pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs... and solve crimes.
Toby: Sam...
Sam: It'd be good. By day, they churn butter and worship according to their own beliefs, and by night they solve crimes.
Toby: Read the thing.
Sam: Pilgrim detectives.
Toby: Do you see me laughing?
Sam: I think you're laughing on the inside.
Toby: Okay.
Sam: With the big hats.
Toby: Give me the speech.
Toby: Sam...
Sam: It'd be good. By day, they churn butter and worship according to their own beliefs, and by night they solve crimes.
Toby: Read the thing.
Sam: Pilgrim detectives.
Toby: Do you see me laughing?
Sam: I think you're laughing on the inside.
Toby: Okay.
Sam: With the big hats.
Toby: Give me the speech.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: Every time we come up on a holiday, you guys check out like seniors who are done with finals.
Toby: We are writing a very important Thanksgiving proclamation.
Sam: And possibly a new action-adventure series.
Toby: Nobody here has checked out...
[Josh enters]
Josh: Hey, I was just flipping a nickel in my office. Sixteen times in a row, it came out tails.
Toby: We are writing a very important Thanksgiving proclamation.
Sam: And possibly a new action-adventure series.
Toby: Nobody here has checked out...
[Josh enters]
Josh: Hey, I was just flipping a nickel in my office. Sixteen times in a row, it came out tails.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: In the following days, we will be meeting with Reverend Al Caldwell, members of Beijing's Embassy and INS agents. The President has asked Josh Lyman and Sam Seaborn to run these meetings so it's entirely possible that by week's end we'll have alienated Christians, China, and our own government.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: They sent me two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.
Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.
TV Show: The West Wing
Charlie: Okay, Mr. President, I say this with all possible respect, but each of these knives cut, you know, meat. Why is it important?
Bartlet: Because it's something we pass on. Something with a history so we can say, 'My father gave this to me. His father gave it to him.'
Charlie: Well, okay, sir, but if that's true, then why don't you already have one?
Bartlet: I do have one.
Charlie: Why do you need a new one?
Bartlet: I'm giving mine away.
Charlie: To who?
Bartlet: Whom.
Charlie: To whom?
Bartlet: Funny you should ask. [takes out knife case from his drawer] Charlie, my father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, and now I'm giving it to you. Take a look. The fully tapered bolster allows for sharpening the entire edge of the blade.
Charlie: It says 'P.R.' I thought I knew them all, but I don't recognize the manufacturer.
Bartlet: Yeah. This was made for my family by a Boston silversmith named Paul Revere.
Bartlet: Because it's something we pass on. Something with a history so we can say, 'My father gave this to me. His father gave it to him.'
Charlie: Well, okay, sir, but if that's true, then why don't you already have one?
Bartlet: I do have one.
Charlie: Why do you need a new one?
Bartlet: I'm giving mine away.
Charlie: To who?
Bartlet: Whom.
Charlie: To whom?
Bartlet: Funny you should ask. [takes out knife case from his drawer] Charlie, my father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, and now I'm giving it to you. Take a look. The fully tapered bolster allows for sharpening the entire edge of the blade.
Charlie: It says 'P.R.' I thought I knew them all, but I don't recognize the manufacturer.
Bartlet: Yeah. This was made for my family by a Boston silversmith named Paul Revere.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Sam's gonna make some changes.
Tate: Are you going to clear them with me?
Sam: Probably not. [to the recorder] Write this. Eleven months ago, a 1,200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago...18 hours, do I have that right? It's going to be noon Eastern time.
CJ: Yep.
Sam: Eighteen hours ago, it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country, along with astroscientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in Southern California, NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are going to be to the first to see what it sees, and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called 'Galileo V.'
Bartlet: [to C.J.] He said it right.
Tate: Are you going to clear them with me?
Sam: Probably not. [to the recorder] Write this. Eleven months ago, a 1,200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago...18 hours, do I have that right? It's going to be noon Eastern time.
CJ: Yep.
Sam: Eighteen hours ago, it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country, along with astroscientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in Southern California, NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are going to be to the first to see what it sees, and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called 'Galileo V.'
Bartlet: [to C.J.] He said it right.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: There's a Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee?
Leo: Yes.
Josh: Made up of members of the There-But-For-The-Grace-of-God-go-I Club?
Leo: You wanna mock people or let me talk to Toby?
Josh: I wanna mock people.
Leo: Yes.
Josh: Made up of members of the There-But-For-The-Grace-of-God-go-I Club?
Leo: You wanna mock people or let me talk to Toby?
Josh: I wanna mock people.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: [about why we should go to Mars] 'Cause it's next. 'Cause we came out of the cave and we looked over the hill and we saw fire. And we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration, and this is what's next.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: [to Leo, about a Russian warhead explosion: ] Leo, at the time the SS-19 exploded, it was being drained of its liquid hydrogen in an attempt by deserting soldiers to -- wait for it --
Leo: Steal the warhead?
Bartlet: Steal the warhead! [to the Russian Ambassador ] When were you gonna tell us about that? You realize how dangerous--
Russian Ambassador: Mr. President, you shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.
Bartlet: Well, I am concerned with the welfare of the Russian people, but that's not what they pay me for. You guys fall asleep at the switch in Minsk, and I've got a whole hemisphere hiding under the bed. How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help?
Russian Ambassador: We'll not need help finding the leaders of the black market network--
Bartlet: Yeah, thanks. We're sending in NATO inspectors.
Russian Ambassador: Leo and I were just discussing the terms.
Leo: The terms are we're sending in NATO or he's taking a walk to the press room.
Bartlet: [to the Russian Ambassador] Get your foreign minister on the phone. [pauses] I honestly don't know from where you guys get the nerve.
Russian Ambassador: From a long, hard winter, Mr. President.
Leo: Steal the warhead?
Bartlet: Steal the warhead! [to the Russian Ambassador ] When were you gonna tell us about that? You realize how dangerous--
Russian Ambassador: Mr. President, you shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.
Bartlet: Well, I am concerned with the welfare of the Russian people, but that's not what they pay me for. You guys fall asleep at the switch in Minsk, and I've got a whole hemisphere hiding under the bed. How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help?
Russian Ambassador: We'll not need help finding the leaders of the black market network--
Bartlet: Yeah, thanks. We're sending in NATO inspectors.
Russian Ambassador: Leo and I were just discussing the terms.
Leo: The terms are we're sending in NATO or he's taking a walk to the press room.
Bartlet: [to the Russian Ambassador] Get your foreign minister on the phone. [pauses] I honestly don't know from where you guys get the nerve.
Russian Ambassador: From a long, hard winter, Mr. President.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: We have at our disposal a captive audience of schoolchildren. Some of them don't go to the blackboard or raise their hand cause they think they're going to be wrong. I think you should say to these kids, "You think you get it wrong sometimes, you should come down here and see how the big boys do it." I think you should tell them you haven't given up hope, and that it may turn up, but in the meantime, you want NASA to put its best people in the room, and you want them to start building Galileo VI. Some of them will laugh and most of them won't care, but for some they might honestly see that it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: [to Josh] This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! Can you help me out?" The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole! Our guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." As long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand me?
TV Show: The West Wing
Stanley: What happened three weeks ago?
Josh: I don't know what you're referring to.
Stanley: I don't know what I'm referring to either, but some of the people you work with became concerned with your behavior three weeks ago.
Josh: Well, I've been concerned with their behavior since long before that.
Josh: I don't know what you're referring to.
Stanley: I don't know what I'm referring to either, but some of the people you work with became concerned with your behavior three weeks ago.
Josh: Well, I've been concerned with their behavior since long before that.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bernard: [to C.J.] The President, on a visit to the gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the White House. I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So there it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: [on the phone] No, I didn't mean that you have no social skills, Toby... I'm sorry if you think I was being insensitive to your... I think you're very... you're a very pretty girl, Toby.
TV Show: The West Wing
Charlie: You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House.
Bartlet: I do?
Charlie: Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year.
Bartlet: Okay, but some of those were death threats.
Charlie: They've weeded those out.
Bartlet: I do?
Charlie: Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year.
Bartlet: Okay, but some of those were death threats.
Charlie: They've weeded those out.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: Doctor Keyworth, I'm the deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1,100 White House employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. Did you think you were talking to the paperboy? In your wildest dreams, did you imagine that I would walk into this room without knowing exactly who you are and what you do?
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: It's a private poll. The press doesn't have access to it... The only way they'd know what questions were being asked is if they were actually called by one of the pollsters and... Oh my god!
C.J.: Yes.
Sam: A reporter got called by one of the pollsters?
Josh: Wow. What are the chances of that?
Sam: The chances of that are astronomical.
Josh: We can calculate it. They sample 800 respondents...
C.J.: Would the two of you stop being amazed by the mathematics!
C.J.: Yes.
Sam: A reporter got called by one of the pollsters?
Josh: Wow. What are the chances of that?
Sam: The chances of that are astronomical.
Josh: We can calculate it. They sample 800 respondents...
C.J.: Would the two of you stop being amazed by the mathematics!
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: Josh, this was delivered by messenger.
Josh: What is it?
Donna: It's... wait... wait... no. Damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today.
Josh: What is it?
Donna: It's... wait... wait... no. Damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: Why were you holding women's underwear before?
Josh: Never really needed a reason.
Josh: Never really needed a reason.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Donna wants me to call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't hitting on her when she gave her her underwear.
Leo: Yeah, that's because I made fun of her shoes and Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix up and accidentally left her underwear.
Bartlet: There can't possibly be nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan...
Leo: Mr. President, please don't wade hip deep into this story.
Leo: Yeah, that's because I made fun of her shoes and Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix up and accidentally left her underwear.
Bartlet: There can't possibly be nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan...
Leo: Mr. President, please don't wade hip deep into this story.
TV Show: The West Wing