The Vicar of Dibley Quotes
Geraldine: Now Alice. You're single, a virgin and yet pregnant.
Owen: That happened to my cousin Sally.
Geraldine: No it didn't, Owen.
Owen: Yes it did. She gave birth three times but she never ever had sex with a man.
Jim: Except me.
Frank: And me.
Owen: And me if I'm honest. (Winter)
Owen: That happened to my cousin Sally.
Geraldine: No it didn't, Owen.
Owen: Yes it did. She gave birth three times but she never ever had sex with a man.
Jim: Except me.
Frank: And me.
Owen: And me if I'm honest. (Winter)
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Owen: I'd just like to say. I'll be slaughtering Daisy here tomorrow, so do order your Christmas beef after the show. (Winter)
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Jim: That is life. Full of confusion. I found this gorgeous girl in Thailand. We snogged, well we more than snogged. I asked her to marry me, she said yes. We got married on a pinapple strewn beach. On the first night of the honeymoon she takes off all her clothes and it turns out she's a bloke called Duane. (Spring)
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
GERALDINE: I think we have a caller on line one. Hello, caller.
DAVID: Vicar, is that you?
GERALDINE: It is indeed. Is that David Horton, local councilor, chairman of the parish?
DAVID: You know bloody well who it is. I'm ringing up about this interview tommorow.
GERALDINE: David, I feel I should warn you, we are actually live on -
DAVID: I'm cancelling. I'm sorry. I don't want that moron Alice asking me damn fool questions.
GERALDINE: David.
DAVID: And it's no good telling me you'll get someone else, because frankly they're all zombies. Frank, Newitt, Jim - I've got sheep who do a more probing interview. Have to cancel - Talk to you later.
GERALDINE: Uh, David. Just before you go, just between you and me, how are your hemorroids?
DAVID: Well... They're terrible if you must know.
GERALDINE: Aw. Really painful? Very embarassing? Bit like a bunch of grapes hanging out your bottom?
DAVID: ... Yes, well it is actually. My lavatory hasn't know what's hit it in the last few weeks.
GERALDINE: Aw. Aw. Well thank you, David "Hemorroid" Horton for sharing that with us live on the Dibley Radio call in. Anything else you'd like to add?
DAVID: [silence] ... [fake Middle Eastern accent] And this is Rory Bremner now using my real voice. I bet I had you all fooled, eh? Hahaha.
OWEN: Zombies? He's got nerve.
JIM: No, no, no, that's right. I'm not going to watch his show anymore.
FRANK: Nor me.
OWEN: Bloody Bremner.
DAVID: Vicar, is that you?
GERALDINE: It is indeed. Is that David Horton, local councilor, chairman of the parish?
DAVID: You know bloody well who it is. I'm ringing up about this interview tommorow.
GERALDINE: David, I feel I should warn you, we are actually live on -
DAVID: I'm cancelling. I'm sorry. I don't want that moron Alice asking me damn fool questions.
GERALDINE: David.
DAVID: And it's no good telling me you'll get someone else, because frankly they're all zombies. Frank, Newitt, Jim - I've got sheep who do a more probing interview. Have to cancel - Talk to you later.
GERALDINE: Uh, David. Just before you go, just between you and me, how are your hemorroids?
DAVID: Well... They're terrible if you must know.
GERALDINE: Aw. Really painful? Very embarassing? Bit like a bunch of grapes hanging out your bottom?
DAVID: ... Yes, well it is actually. My lavatory hasn't know what's hit it in the last few weeks.
GERALDINE: Aw. Aw. Well thank you, David "Hemorroid" Horton for sharing that with us live on the Dibley Radio call in. Anything else you'd like to add?
DAVID: [silence] ... [fake Middle Eastern accent] And this is Rory Bremner now using my real voice. I bet I had you all fooled, eh? Hahaha.
OWEN: Zombies? He's got nerve.
JIM: No, no, no, that's right. I'm not going to watch his show anymore.
FRANK: Nor me.
OWEN: Bloody Bremner.
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Geraldine: Owen, you said you'd delight and surprise us.
Owen: Yes, but I'm not quite sure about the delight part anymore.
Owen: Yes, but I'm not quite sure about the delight part anymore.
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Geraldine: Now Frank, be honest, how many verses?
Frank: 108.
Geraldine: Do you mind if we don't hear the whole song?
Frank: I could skip 1 or 2 in the middle.
Frank: 108.
Geraldine: Do you mind if we don't hear the whole song?
Frank: I could skip 1 or 2 in the middle.
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Geraldine: (Bangs head on the table) Can you please say it Alice?
Alice: Next!
Alice: Next!
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Geraldine: Now let me just say all my hopes that after 10 years their is a shred of talent or sanity in this village are resting entirely on you, Jim.
Jim: I decided to focus on a part of the nativity that wasn't talked about.
Geraldine: Good.
Jim: Then I realised, the actual birth.
Geraldine: BAD!
Jim:
Jim: I decided to focus on a part of the nativity that wasn't talked about.
Geraldine: Good.
Jim: Then I realised, the actual birth.
Geraldine: BAD!
Jim:
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley
Geraldine: (Bangs head down on the table extreme force)
Alice: Actually, I rather like that one.
Alice: Actually, I rather like that one.
TV Show: The Vicar of Dibley