The Mighty Boosh Quotes


Howard Moon: I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: I want to be the greatest Jazz player in Yorkshire.
The Spirit of Jazz: Yorkshire? What is Yorkshire?
Howard Moon: Yorkshire is a place. Yorkshire is a state of mind.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: I'm an explorer.
Vince Noir: I thought you were a writer?
Howard Moon: I do many things. I span the genres - they call me the genre spanner.
Vince Noir: Yeah, they call you the spanner...

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, Colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?
Vince Noir: Colon Explorer?
Howard Moon: You know what I saying.
Vince Noir: I think that's got the wrong ring to it.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: Kodiak! It's me, Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning.
Kodiak Jack: The what?
Howard Moon: The telephone...
Kodiak Jack: Ohh, the talky stick! Your voice was trapped in there this morning.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend.
Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: Vince, you've gone wrong.
Vince Noir: I am the Chosen One. I have the amulet.
Howard Moon: Yeah, well maybe it's time I had the amulet for a bit.
Vince Noir: You don't accessorise. There's a simple truth to you.
Howard Moon: Give me the amulet, you bitch!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: Where did you get those sunglasses from?
Vince Noir: A passing Coyote took pity on me.
Howard Moon: Took pity on you did he? He took a piss on me!
Vince Noir: I think in his own simple way he was trying to cool you down.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: Women would swoon when Tommy shuffled into a room. It was a different aesthetic then. Only a fashionable androgeny in Tommy's day. He was a man's man. I mean, look at you, [Vince Noir]
Howard Moon: feather cut, the pointy features. Put you in the '50s, you'd be imprisoned for being a witch. They'd lock you in a trunk!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Howard Moon: You used to be a zookeeper, this is where your heart was. What about the zoo?
Vince Noir: [bleeped] F*** the zoo
Howard Moon: [shocked] What did you say?
Vince Noir: [bleeped] I said, f*** the zoo
Howard Moon: I can't believe you're saying that. What about the animals?
Vince Noir: [bleeped] F*** the animals! They're all a bunch of w******!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Lead Shaman: Tony has a gift for strategy.
Saboo: A gift for strategy?
Tony Harrison: That's right. I'm a unique thinker.
Saboo: Right, let us hear one of Tony Harrison's strategm's
Lead Shaman: Come on, Tony, don't let me down.
Tony Harrison: I say we, move, er, with haste, we retrieve that book, we fetch it back [pause]
Tony Harrison: in a bag, [pause]
Tony Harrison: quite quickly.
Lead Shaman: Oh, dear.
Tony Harrison: Just give me five minutes, I can come up with something else. I only need pen and paper, and someone to [pause]
Tony Harrison: write down my ideas.
Saboo: [to Tony] You are a knob.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Lucien: You should never go out on Black Lake when the moon be full.
Vince Noir: Why?
Lucien: Because there's somethin' out there... somethin' evil... somethin' that goes by the name of Old Gregg... [creepy music]
Vince Noir: ...who?
Lucien: Ol' Gregg. Legendary fish. Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say it's more of a seventy-thirty split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.
Colin: Some say he's a ghost. Can't catch what don't exists. Hook goes right through 'im.
Lucien: Some say he's acquired the taste of human meat, won't respond to conventional bait. Only way to hook him is to use a child's toe.
The Moon: And some say, Old Gregg is like a, a big fish finger, but big! Like um, like a garage. As big as a garage. Imagine that fish finger, when you can see it is as big as a garage, oh! It isn't small, it's the big one! Like that. [smiles]

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Bob Fossil: I have a problem. It's to do with the little man, the squashed-in French man, the naked little squashed up hairy boy! You know! With the hand feet [shakes his hands to demonstrate]
Bob Fossil: The brown little hand foot man. [makes face]
Howard Moon: The gorilla.
Bob Fossil: Yer!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Tommy Nooka: [singing] Cheese is a kind of meat/ A tasty yellow beef./ I milk it from my teat./ But I try to be discrete./ Oh cheese!/ O cheese!
Vince Noir: [Tommy repeats song] Is that your hero?
Howard Moon: Yeah, he's gone a bit wrong.
Vince Noir: I'm going to stick with Jagger. [Tommy begins beatboxing]

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Tommy Nooka: [to Howard Moon] Stop! Stop! I am too old. You and your wife must go without me.

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Johnny Two Hats: I'm Johnny Two Hats, why do you think they call me that?
Vince Noir: Is it because you've got two hats on?
Johnny Two Hats: Bingo

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Saboo: [to Howard Moon] You know nothing of the crunch!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Naboo: What's in it for me?
Dixon Bainbridge: I don't know. How about I throw in a Kit Kat?

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Bollo: I got a bad feeling about this... [repeated line, various episodes]

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Bar lady: I like your dress...
Rudy: This is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks.
Bar lady: Why don't you stay awhile? [flashes to him]
Rudy: Put away those fiery biscuits...

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh

Various: [Repeated line, while being killed hideously] A little to the left!

TV Show: The Mighty Boosh