Stargate - Atlantis Quotes



Beckett, McKay and Keller are in the infirmary and Keller had just told Beckett that he's a clone and needs to take a weekly injection to keep his internal organs from shutting down, one they don't have in Atlantis.
Dr. Beckett: My Lord. No wonder I've felt like a dog's breakfast ever since I got here.
(Note: This is probably a hint to David Hewlett's movie, A Dog's Breakfast, in which Paul McGillion participated)

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: [before freezing Beckett in stasis] You know, I was toying with the idea of programming dreams into these things. Interested? I could have you fishing in the Highlands...with a couple of tall blonde massage therapists?
Dr. Beckett: No, Rodney. I'll be fine.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Sheppard: You're telling me I just traveled forty eight thousand years into the future in ten seconds?
McKay: I know – it is kind of cool when you think about it, isn't it?
Sheppard: Surfing a thirty foot wave in Waimea is cool. Dating a supermodel is cool. This is not cool!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: The city has solar-powered generators, right?
Dr. McKay: Yes, which would come in very handy if we were trying to power a couple of electric golf carts.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Todd: [explaining his plan to destroy Michael's facility] I was going to write an elaborate program designed to slowly create a fatal error in the primary capacitor, but I doubt there'll be time for that now.
Ronon: I was just gonna blow it up.
Todd: [exasperated] Naturally.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: [voiceover] I was down in the Infirmary, having suffered a, uh, well, pretty serious injury.
Dr. Keller: [in the past, talking to Rodney on a bed in the infirmary] It's a splinter.
Dr. McKay: Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: Look, um, I know you've already been debriefed about the future events – all the things we were hoping to avoid – but there's just one more thing I need to know.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What?
Dr. McKay: Did I still have hair?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [pausing] No.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


(Sheppard has returned to Atlantis to find the city abandoned and powerless, and that the ocean has been replaced by sand dunes as far as the eye can see).
Lt. Col. Sheppard: (as he desperately waves his hands over control panels trying to activate anything) Okay, this is either the most elaborate pratical joke of all time, or I'm in serious trouble here.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
(Lorne and McKay are trapped in another part of the collapsed compound)
Dr. McKay: Still no signal. There's too much interference.
Maj. Lorne: Pretty sure my leg´s broken.
Dr. McKay: I think I'm remarkably fine.
Maj. Lorne: [sarcastically] Well, isn't that wonderful? That brings me great comfort. Thank you.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Michael: Well. I guess we're fighting after all.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: If I'm reading this correctly then Michael is--
Maj. Lorne: [he hears a noise] Shut up.
Dr. McKay: No, you shut up this is important! If Michael is coming-
Maj. Lorne: Shh! Stop making noise.
Dr. McKay: [pause] It's footsteps.
Maj. Lorne: Okay, revise that, start making a lot of noise.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Col. Caldwell: As a general rule, I like to keep daring rescues down to one a day.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Sheppard, Ronon and McKay are in a Puddle Jumper and trying to get into Michael´s ship through the dart bay doors which begin to close again]
Dr. McKay: It's closing.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: I see that.
Dr. McKay: It's closing quickly.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [annoyed] I got it.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Teyla is giving birth on Michael's ship]
Dr. McKay: So, ummmmm, how are you doing?
Teyla: The pain is very great.
Dr. McKay: Oh...yeah I-I had a kidney stone once....incredibly painful....same kinda thing I'm told so yeah I hear you. Actually my cat and I had one at the same time and we were not fun to be around I'll tell you that much. He got his because he was eating too much dry cat food and I got mine because I wasn't drinking enough liquids, so that's why you see me drinking lots of water because I have no desire to experience that kind of pain again.
Teyla: [panting while talking] Fascinating story. Thank you...

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


(Sheppard is about to go to surgery and passes Teyla)
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What are you gonna name the kid?
Teyla: Well, if it's all right with you, I was thinking of Torren John, after my father and after you.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Really? Wow.
Dr. Keller: McKay's gonna hate that.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: I would be very honored.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. Keller: All you have to do is lie still and let me play with your insides. [to Sheppard regarding his surgery].

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Teyla: Today he's decided that he will only sleep as long as I hold him and keep moving. I've already walked half the city and back again.
Dr. Keller: My parents used to put me in the car. My dad would have to drive around and around and around the block at three o'clock in the morning!
Teyla: Hmm. That would be lovely. At least I'd be sitting down!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Woolsey has just arived on the Daedalus to take command of Atlantis.]
Woolsey: [authoritatively] Well, then. [He hesitates for several seconds, unable to think of anything more to say, then looks at Sheppard.] I think I'll start by going over copies of all your latest reports. [turning to McKay] Yours as well, Doctor.
Dr. McKay: What, right now?
Woolsey: I've been out of touch on the Daedalus for three weeks. I'd like to be brought up to speed as quickly as possible. We can have a full briefing in the morning.
[Woolsey leaves the control room]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: It's a nice speech. Very inspiring.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Wraith: Kneel.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: You know, what'd be really creepy and unexpected is if you knelt instead. [Tyre kicks him down] I guess not.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[After Sheppard notices the Alternate Daedalus has powered up]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [Over radio] Rodney, was that you?
Dr. McKay: [Smug] Yes. Why, do you think we have a ghost on board?
[McKay literally jumps when he hears something fall to the ground, then realizes it was only Ronon]
Dr. McKay: Will you please not touch anything?!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Sheppard tells McKay that they've jumped above a red giant]
Dr. McKay: [over radio] Are you sure?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, we're not imagining it Rodney.
Dr. McKay: Let me transfer the sensors down to the station, at least I could- Whoa... you're definitely not imagining that...
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Thanks for the vote of confidence!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Ronon: They're in weapons range!
[the ship starts taking damage]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Return fire!
Ronon: I'm trying!
[the alien fighters keep closing, Ronon starts bashing the console]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Easy, Chewie! Those buttons are your friends! Just keep trying!
Ronon: [yells] I'M TRYING!!!
[the engine controls go down]
Dr. McKay: That's it, sublight's gone for good this time!
[the Alternate Daedalus crawls to a halt when the attackers suddenly start to explode]
Ronon: What the hell was that?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: F-302s. It's Atlantis!
[a massive dogfight begins]
Dr. McKay: [nervous] What's happening?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: We got some help from some friends, guess we're on the right side after all-
Alternate Sheppard: Daedalus, this is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, do you read? [Sheppard and Ronon look at each other confused] Daedalus, do you read?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Yeah, Daedalus, uh, this is Daedalus, come in.
Alternate Sheppard: Who-Who is this?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: It's a long story!
Alternate Sheppard: Well, whoever you are you saved our asses when you took out their main weapons. I think the least we can do is return the favor.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: I'd much appreciate it.
Ronon: Uh, Sheppard...
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Oh, crap! [takes out a fighter that was trying to crash into the bridge]
Alternate Sheppard: Sorry about that, one of 'em got through. Nice shooting, though.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Oh, thanks...

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Alternate Sheppard: Alright, that's the last of them. So, what happens now?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, we go our own ways.
Alternate Sheppard: Just like that?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Pretty much.
Alternate Sheppard: Well, thing is, we do have a few questions. See, the Daedalus we know was destroyed two years ago in a battle with the Replicators.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Sorry to hear that, but... this isn't our Daedalus either, we're just... borrowing it for a while.
Alternate Sheppard: OK, I have no idea what that means.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, like I said, it's a long story.
Alternate Sheppard: All right, Daedalus, good luck.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Thank you, Colonel. And one last thing: it's been a pleasure. [Teyla smiles] You're obviously a man of great integrity here, and a dedicated commander, and a very skilled pilot.
[Ronon frowns at him.]
Alternate Sheppard: Well, that's funny. I was gonna say the same to you. [Sheppard smiles]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[McKay is hit by an alien's weapon]
Dr. McKay: Oh, OW! OW!! OWW!!! [ducks into cover]I GOT SHOT!!! Ow...
Ronon: Thought we got them all! [fires]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Apparently not! [fires]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
A Puddle Jumper is flying up from the planet. Sheppard's team is on board.
Ronon: What the hell was that thing?
Teyla: It just appeared out of nowhere.
Dr. McKay: And that shriek scared the crap out of me.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Kind of a ... flying monkey.
Dr. McKay: Flying monkeys! What is this, the planet of Oz?!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Woolsey: But the planet. Suitable for an Alpha site?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Yeah, perfect. Well, except from the monkey-like creature flying around, but I think we can handle that.
Woolsey: Monkey?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Yeah, McKay's got some photos. He'll show 'em to ya.
Woolsey: Did you say flying?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Dr. McKay tweaks a system and tries to talk to Weir]
Dr. McKay: Elizabeth?
Elizabeth Weir: [in a deep male voice] Rodney?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Is it just me, or does "Elizabeth" sound a little different?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Richard Woolsey: Amelia, I think I'm gonna risk heading down to breakfast before they check in. I just mean that it will probably take them some time to get to the camp, and then more time for Nichols to get back to the Gate and report.
[Woolsey pauses. Amelia looks at him blankly]
Richard Woolsey: There's really no point in my telling you this.
Amelia Banks: Not really, sir.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: Did you have some kind of itinerary planned?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, actually we’re gonna have a big feast first.
Dr. McKay: Last supper huh?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, suits your messiah complex.
Dr. McKay: True.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: You're a good friend, Arthur.
[Both Sheppard and McKay look at each other, then bursts into laughter]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis