Stargate - Atlantis Quotes



[A Wraith is about to feed on Larrin, when he notices Sheppard pointing a gun to his head.]
Sheppard: I can see you just fed, which means that your regenerating abilities are at maximum. But I seriously doubt you can grow a new head.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: No, there's something you're not telling us - she was hot, wasn't she?
Sheppard: I don't know what you're talking about.
McKay: Aw, I knew it. That is so typical.
Sheppard: She had me beat Rodney! She threatened to kill me several times. It wasn't like we were hanging out in the spa together.
McKay: Whatever. All that I know is that every time I get taken captive, it's the Wraith. Just once, I would like to be taken prisoner by the sexy alien.
Sheppard: Well, you may still have a chance.
Ronon: What do you mean?
Sheppard: She's still out there...
[Teyla rolls her eyes]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Keller: Dr Brown. I see you've brought my number one patient.
McKay: What? Oh, no, we're not here for me this time.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: It started suddenly, and then it just stopped.
Keller: Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me.
McKay: Aren't you gonna do anything?
Keller: To be honest, I don't see how it's relevant.
McKay: Well, it's a new symptom. I thought it just might be important.
Keller: I don't see how a tingling sensation in your knees relates to this condition, especially since you're the only one experiencing it.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Sheppard: You showing any signs?
McKay: Headache.
Sheppard: Yeah, same here.
McKay: Five bucks says you start losing your memories first.
Sheppard: Rodney!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Rodney is starting to forget things]
Teyla[to Dr. McKay]: What is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter?
McKay: Well, that's pi, it's 3.14159265 etc, etc... Oh, t-that doesn't count, that's easy.
Teyla: You are a scientist, Rodney, that is what you care about, that is what you will hang on to the longest.
McKay: Right, right, so... [pause] Wait a minute, doesn't that make me a really bad person?
Teyla: It makes you the type of person who is going to save all our lives.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Everyone in Atlantis has lost their memory, apart from Teyla and Ronon. Ronon tells Lorne to take out a polaroid from his vest pocket, upon which is written "Colonel John Sheppard. He is your commanding officer. Trust him!"]
Sheppard: That's right, I'm your Commanding officer, so you should do what I say.
Maj. Lorne: Yes, sir. What are our orders?
[Sheppard, confused for a moment, turns to Ronon]
Sheppard: Do what he says.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Keller: Ibuprofen. Helps with the pain and swelling.
Teyla: Yes, Dr. McKay uses them frequently, along with antihistamines, antacids, motion-sickness pills…
Keller: You forgot the prescription I wrote him for restless leg syndrome.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Teyla has caught a squid-looking creature for dinner]
Teyla: The taste leaves much to be desired but it will sustain you.
Keller: [grimacing] Oh, no thanks. I'm not hungry.
Teyla: You should eat.
Keller: [to herself] This was my least favourite part of 'Survivor'.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Ronon: [About the Bola Kai] Don't worry. They're primitive. We can handle them.
McKay: Define 'primitive'.
Ronon: Clubs and arrows.
McKay: Hey, arrows can hurt!
Ronon: Only if you're stupid enough to get hit in the ass with one.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Nabel: You're a doctor, a healer, not a killer.
Keller: You’re right, I am a healer. But first I need something to heal. [shoots him in the knee]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[regarding psychic powers]
McKay: Well, gee, let me think. Umm, no. Look, in a mechanical, Newtonian universe, not a problem. I mean, you know enough variables, you can predict the outcome; but quantum physicsblows that out of the water.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Carter: You have had more experience with the Wraith than just about anyone, and in particular with this Wraith. You have a history.
Sheppard: Well, it's not like we're dating.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Todd: I believe among your people it is customary to shake hands.
[Todd offers his right hand to Col. Carter. Everyone in the room points their guns at the Wraith. He begins to laugh and waves his hand disparagingly.]
Todd: Just a little Wraith humour. [laughs]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Ronon: That's it? That's your superweapon?
McKay: Well, what were you expecting?
Ronon: A big gun? Something that goes boom?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Sheppard: Have you learned any new information yet?
Agent Barrett: No, not yet. The NID is liaising with CSIS[pronounced see-sis] on the ground. They are expecting us.
Sheppard: C-what now?
McKay: Canadian Security Intelligence Services. They're kind of like your CIA.
Sheppard: [sarcastically] CSIS, that's the best you guys can do, huh?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Jeannie: I can't believe I am betting my life on your sense of direction!
McKay: What are you talking about?! I've got an excellent sense of direction!
Jeannie: Oh, really? Remember when we went to West Edmonton Mall and Dad had to call the police to find you?
McKay: That mall was huge!
Jeannie: There were maps every seven metres!
McKay: Misleading ones!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Jeannie: [about Katie Brown] So, are you gonna marry her?
McKay: I don't know.
Jeannie: You've been dating over a year now.
McKay: [irritated] I'm aware of that, thank you!
Jeannie: You think you're gonna find someone better?
McKay: No, it's not that.
Jeannie: [laughing] 'Cause you're not!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Ronon is eating in the commissary, looking on in boredom as Walter rambles until Sheppard enters]
Ronon: [hopeful] Tell me you have something!
Sheppard: Devlin Medical Technologies.
Ronon: That means...
Sheppard: You've got somebody to point your gun at.
Ronon: [enthused] Sweet!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Jeannie: And I'm gonna hold this over your head, for like - forever.
McKay: Oh, that's totally fair.
Jeannie: Like, you're gonna eat a lot of vegetarian food ... and not complain about it.
McKay: Sure, sure.
Jeannie: And you're gonna read Madison three stories instead of her usual two.
McKay: Right.
Jeannie: You're gonna buy me a car.
McKay: Let's not get out of control here...
Jeannie: A nice car. Hybrid.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Replicator John: Have we made any progress?
Replicator Rodney: Yeah, the Gate's not working.
Replicator John: I think we figured that much last week when you broke it.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Sheppard: [upon seeing his clone] Great. The last time I came face to face with myself I ended up kicking my own ass.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Replicator Rodney: [excited] Humanity is about to benefit from the world's greatest mind - times two.
McKay: Can you imagine?
Replicator John: I'm trying not to.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Replicator John: Wait a minute. we can't go back to Atlantis because we're a security risk.
Sheppard: He - I have a point.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: [To Sheppard] If this works, we should be able to track every Aurora-class Replicator ship in the galaxy in realtime.
[A few ships show up on the screen, each one accompanied by an audible blip]
McKay: Well, that's not so bad. I guess the Wraith have really taken a toll.
[More blips, the number of ships doubles]
McKay: On the other hand, my duplicate did say they were building more...
[More blips, still more ships appear]
McKay: A lot more.
[The screen fades out. After a beat, more blips are heard]
McKay: Oh, crap...

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[the Apollo and Daedalus have arrived at Atlantis]
McKay: Both ships at the same time. This is a first.
Carter: Well, it's the first time we've needed them.
[Sheppherd and Rodney both give her a pointed look]
Carter: [embarrassed] Well, since I've been here...

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: Look, you don't know me. This is when I'm at my best. This is when I shine: impossible deadlines! Did I ever tell you about the time I once got a damaged Ancient hyperdrive system online moments before me and my crew were incinerated by a supervolcano?
Todd: [sighing and rolling eyes] Yes. You have.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: Ellis is gonna love this. I don't get it. We tried reconfiguring your stand-down code; we tried programming the nanites to turn themselves off. Something should've worked.
Todd: : They are a very complex and ingenious design.
McKay: Yeah, well, I thought I was ingeniouser.
[Todd looks at Rodney and starts to say something, but is cut off]
McKay: Yes, I know it's not a word, Mr. Helpful.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


McKay: I mean, it'll take them some time to adapt, to figure out how to function within the new parameters.
Carter: How much time?
McKay: Well, I mean, I hate to speculate.
Sheppard: Oh? Since when?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Zelenka: I must say, Rodney, this is quite an ingenious idea.
McKay: [smug] Were you expecting anything less?
Zelenka: [hesitant] Well...
McKay: Well what?
Zelenka: Well, you have been in a bit of a rut lately.
McKay: [indignant] I have not!
Zelenka: OK, well, like a dry spot, maybe.
McKay: That is not true.
Zelenka: OK...
McKay: It is not!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis