Snatch. Quotes

Brick Top: You're on thin ****ing ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, **** off.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top: Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony: I want to know who blagged Brick-Top's bookies.
Mullet: Do me a favor, Ton!
Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet. I'll not get out of this car and bash the living **** out of you in front of all your girlfriends. [Mullet hunkers down to the car window]
Mullet: Got to make it worth my while, mate. Jesus, Tony, you know that... [Tony seizes his tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullet's head in it]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that's got you into this pickle. Now you just take all the time you want. [He starts the car forward]
Mullet: What the **** are you doing, Ton?
Bullet Tooth Tony: I'm driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pen-ass?
Mullet: Slow down, Ton.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [sniffs] You been using dog**** for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet: Slow down, Ton! Slow down, Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: I don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. You can play some music if you like. [He turns on the radio; Madonna's Lucky Star is playing]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Oh, I love this track.
Mullet: I think...
Bullet Tooth Tony: Yes, Mullet?
Mullet: I think it's two black guys, in a pawn shop on Smith street.
Bullet Tooth Tony: You better not be telling me porky pies.
Mullet: I'm ****ing telling you, it's two black guys who work off a pawn shop in ****ing Smith Street!
Avi: That's very ef

Movie: Snatch.
Customs official: Anything to declare?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

Movie: Snatch.
Mickey: I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer.

Movie: Snatch.
[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a bag of ****ing peanuts, is it?
Tyrone: It was a funny angle. [All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.

Movie: Snatch.
Customs official : Anything to declare?
Avi : Yeah. Don't go to England.

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony : You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony : What?
Avi : Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony : What do you mean "look in the dog?"
Avi : I mean open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony : It's not as if it's a tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : [ roused from his drunken stupor ] I need to have a shite.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy : It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish : No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy : It's for protection.
Turkish : Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : You take sugar?
Brick Top : No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : Well, do you want to do it?
Mickey : That depends.
Turkish : On what?
Mickey : On you buying this caravan. Not the rouge one, the rose.
Turkish : It's not the same caravan.
Mickey : It's not the same fight.
Turkish : It's twice the fucking size of the last one.
Mickey : Turkish, the fight is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. It's a fair deal. Take it.
Turkish : Mickey, you're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance. Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich. [ Realizes his mistake ]
Turkish : I wasn't calling your mum a tart. I just meant...
Mickey : Ah, save your breath for cooling your porridge. Now, look...
Mickey : [ starts talking incoherently ] I want the hector two roof lights, with the discover cushions and the matching side stripe caravan.
Mickey : Right. And she's terrible partial to the periwinkle blue, boys. Have I made myself clear, lads?
Turkish : Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey. Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague. [ to Tommy ]
Turkish : Did you understand a single word of what he just said?

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.

Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer.

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi : Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony : 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London. [ Avi arrives in London ]
Doug the Head : Avi!
Avi : Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head : We've got sandy beaches...
Avi : So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em? I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend Franky, Doug. I'm gonna find him, and you're gonna help me find him, and we're gonna start at that fight.

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Avi, pull your socks up.

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud : Where?
Avi : London.
Rosebud : London?
Avi : London.
Avi's Colleague : London?
Avi : Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster.

Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?
Tyrone : It's too tight.
Vinny : Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.

Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny : These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns... [ Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"... [ Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Written down the side of mine... [ They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.

Movie: Snatch.
Tommy : Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Turkish : You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm hard" Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

Movie: Snatch.
[ Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van ]
Tyrone : I didn't see it there.
Vinny : It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a packet of fucking peanuts, is it?
Tyrone : It was a funny angle. [ All three turn and look back at the truck ]
Vinny : It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.

Movie: Snatch.