Snatch. Quotes

Turkish : Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans of running the car over.

Movie: Snatch.
Sol : What the fuck is that?
Vinny : Heh heh. This is a shotgun, Sol.
Sol : It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny : Well I wanna raise some pulses, don't I?
Sol : You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

Movie: Snatch.
[ after cleaning out Turkish's Safe ]
Brick Top : He's been a busy little bastard, that Turkish.
Errol : I think you've let him get away with enough already, Guv'nor.
Brick Top : It'll get you in a lot of trouble thinking, Errol. If I were you, I wouldn't do too much of it.

Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : Bad Boy, I keep telling you: 'Stick to being a gangster.' Leave this game to me 'n Sol.

Movie: Snatch.
[ while robbing the bookies ]
Sol : Are you all right there Vincent?
Vinny : I would be if you stopped using my name.

Movie: Snatch.
[ Avi, Tony, and Rosebud watch Boris on the video monitor ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : This guy's a handful.
Rosebud : I hate Russians. I'll take care of him.
Bullet Tooth Tony : He's all yours, Rosebud me old son.
Rosebud : Not a problem. [ Cut to a few minutes later, inside Tony's Jaguar. All three of them are bruised, bloody, and shouting, but Rosebud is seriously hurt ]
Rosebud : You gotta get me to a doctor! Shoot that fuck, then get me to a doctor!
Avi : Yeah, yeah, but first the stone, Rosie. First the stone and then I'm gonna get you to a doctor, and not just any doctor, boychik, I'm gonna find you a nice Jewish doctor. [ at Tony ]
Avi : Find my friend a nice Jewish doctor!

Movie: Snatch.
[ Tony empties his gun through the wall, hitting both Boris and Tyrone. He comes in, reloading ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : What's Boris doing here? Boris, what are you doing here?
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Fuck you! [ Tony shoots him twice, then turns to Tyrone ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Where's the case?
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Uhhh, you piece of crap...
Bullet Tooth Tony : Don't take the piss, Boris.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : [ reaching for his gun ] I show you... [ Tony shoots him four more times ]
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Fuck you! [ a seventh time ]
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Almost had it...
Bullet Tooth Tony : For fuck's sake... [ Tony takes careful aim and fires an eighth shot. Sound of Boris finally collapsing ]

Movie: Snatch.
[ looking at the video of Sol and Vinny, trapped in the foyer of the bookie's by the security door ]
Brick Top : Do you know these tits, Errol?
Errol : I know a lot of tits, Guv'nor. But I don't know any quite as fucking stupid as these two.
Brick Top : John?
John : I can't help, Guv. [ Tyrone pokes his head in the door ]
Errol : Ah, Tyrone.
Errol, John : You silly fat bastard.

Movie: Snatch.
[ Brick-Top's men have Turkish pinned on the floor. Errol raises a sword to strike, then Tommy appears with his dud pistol ]
Tommy : Turkish, get your arse up. Any of you lot follow me, and I'll fucking shoot you.
Errol : Easy, old son. Calm down.
Tommy : I'm the one who's got the gun, son. It's you who I think ought to calm down. [ Errol takes a step forward. Tommy cocks the gun and sticks it right in his face ]
Tommy : Go ahead. You want to see if I've got the minerals? [ Brick-Top's men don't move as Tommy backs out of the slot parlor, then runs after Turkish ]

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : All right, Mullet? [ Mullet freezes, then swallows and turns around ]
Mullet : How you doin', Tony? You all right, mate?
Bullet Tooth Tony : Ooh, nice tie.
Mullet : I heard you weren't about much these days, Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony : What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins. Unlike yours, Mullet.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : What do you think, Errol?
Errol : I think we should drip-dry them, Guv'nor, while we have the chance.
Brick Top : It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?

Movie: Snatch.
Cousin Avi : Who's Bullet Tooth...
Chinese Guy : Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony : You silly fuck.

Movie: Snatch.
Gorgeous George : This will get messy.

Movie: Snatch.
Gorgeous George : Get back down or you will not be coming up next time. [ watches as Mickey warms up ]
Gorgeous George : Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here.
Mickey : You're not going anywhere, you thick lump. [ Pulls off his shirt ]
Mickey : You stay until the job's done. [ kisses his good luck charms and knocks Gorgeous out with a single punch ]
Turkish : [ narrating ] It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now, that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes, Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble of explaining why a man died in their campsite when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp? It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy - the tit - is praying. And if he isn't, he fucking should be.

Movie: Snatch.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Drop the gun, fat boy.

Movie: Snatch.
Sol : He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
Tyrone : 'course I am... [ reverses into parked van ]
Vinny : A natural fucking idiot.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : It's an unlicensed boxing match. It's not a tickling competition. These lads are out to hurt each other.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : Of course, fucking of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.

Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : What the fuck do you mean, replicas?
Sol : They look the shit, don't they? And nobody is gonna argue. And I've got some extra loud blanks, just in case.
Vinny : In... Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?

Movie: Snatch.
Sol : I'm not in here to make a fucking bet.
Female Bookie : 'Preciated, but all... bets... are... off. If all bets are off, then there can't be any money can't there?
Sol : I'm not fucking buying that.
Female Bookie : Well that's handy, 'cause I ain't fucking selling it. It's a fact.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : You aren't exactly Mister Current Affairs are you, Tommy? "Mad Fist" went mad, and "The Gun," shot himself.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : [ Into cell phone ] Pete, talk to me.
Darren : [ Into cell phone ] If ya want yer friend to hear ya, you'll have to talk a lot louder than that.

Movie: Snatch.
Tommy : What if Mickey knocks the other guy out?
Turkish : We get murdered before we leave the building, and I imagine we get fed to the pigs.
Tommy : Well, I'm glad to see you're climbing the walls in fucking anxiety.

Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : Well, why didn't you just [ American accent ]
Turkish : "bust a cap in his ass," Tommy?

Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi : Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : Now I don't want to put a bullet in your face, but if you don't give us *exactly* what we want, there will be fucking murder.
Bullet Tooth Tony : [ to Tyrone ] What's your name?
Sol : Shoot him.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Ooh.

Movie: Snatch.
Franky Four Fingers : So the Biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin," which was a pretty easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic church.

Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : Are you taking the piss?

Movie: Snatch.
Franky Four Fingers : Where is the stone?

Movie: Snatch.
Avi : Tony, there is a man I'd like you to find.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Well, that depends on all the elements in the equation. How many are there?
Avi : Forty thousand.
Bullet Tooth Tony : Where was he last seen?
Doug the Head : At a bookie's.
Bullet Tooth Tony : A bookie's... pass us the blower, Susi.

Movie: Snatch.