Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Quotes

[Yondu is floating in the air, hanging on his arrow] Peter Quill: You look like Mary Poppins.
Yondu: Is he cool?
Peter Quill: Hell yeah, he's cool.
Yondu: I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Baby Groot: I am Groot.
Yondu: What's that?
Rocket: He says, Welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy. Only he didn't use frickin'.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[last lines] Mantis: It's beautiful.
Drax: It is. And so are you. [pause]
Drax: On the inside.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Kraglin: What are you gonna do with your share?
Nebula: As a child, my father would have Gamora and me battle one another in training. Every time my sister prevailed... my father would replace a piece of me with machinery, claiming he wanted me to be her equal. But she won... again and again, and again, never once refraining. So after I murder my sister, I will buy a warship with every conceivable instrument of death. I will hunt my father like a dog, and I will tear him apart slowly... piece by piece, until he knows some semblance of the profound and unceasing pain I knew every single day.
Kraglin: Yeah... I was talking about, like, a pretty necklace. Or a nice hat. You know. Something to make the other girls go Ooh, that's nice.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: [to Quill]There are two types of beings in the universe, those who dance, and those who do not.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: Does anybody have any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button.
Peter Quill: I don't have any tape. Let me check. Yo, Yondu, do you have any. Ow! Do you have any tape?... Gamora? Do you have any tape? Tape! Ah, never mind. Ow! Drax, do you have any tape? Yes, Scotch tape would work... Then why did you ask me if Scotch tape would work, if you don't have any? Nobody has any tape!
Rocket: Not a single person has tape?
Peter Quill: Nope!
Rocket: Did you ask Nebula?
Peter Quill: Yes!
Rocket: Are you sure?
Peter Quill: I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him.
Rocket: I knew you were lying!
Peter Quill: You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag. If anybody's gonna have tape, it's *you*! [Baby Groot grabs the device and runs off with it while Rocket's back is turned]
Rocket: That's exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Peter Quill: You are wasting a lot of time here! [Rocket turns around and see that both the bomb and Groot are gone]
Rocket: [to himself]We're all gonna die.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: Sometimes, the thing you've been looking for your whole life is right there beside you all along.
Drax: [next to Peter]You're right!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: [after she gets hit]Mantis, look out!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: Well, you may not be mortal, but me...
Ego: No, Peter... death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.
Peter Quill: I'm immortal?
Ego: Mmm-hmm.
Peter Quill: Really?
Ego: Yes! As long as the light exists.
Peter Quill: And, I could use the light to build cool things like, how you made this whole planet?
Ego: Well, it might take you a few million years of practice before you get really good at it. But, yes!
Peter Quill: What! This is... Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear...
Ego: You can do anything you want.
Peter Quill: I'm gonna make some weird shit.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Gamora: [in gunfight]Groot, get out of the way! You're gonna get hurt! [Groot waves at her]
Gamora: [Smiling]Hi. [keeps firing]

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: What is it?
Kraglin: It's called a Zune. It's what everybody's listening to on Earth nowadays.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: So, we're saving the galaxy, again?
Peter Quill: I guess.
Rocket: Awesome! We're really gonna be able to jack up our prices if we're two-time galaxy savers.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Ego: I created what I imagined biological life to be like... down to the most minute detail.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Peter Quill: Dude!
Gamora: What is wrong with you?
Drax: If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her!
Peter Quill: I don't need to hear how my parents...
Drax: Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Peter Quill: That's disgusting.
Drax: It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups.
Ego: Yes, Drax, I got a penis.
Drax: Ha! Thank you!
Ego: It's not half bad.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: This gross bug lady is my new friend.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: You like a professional asshole or what?
Rocket: Pretty much a pro.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from fourth mid-credit scene] Peter Quill: [on teenage Groot]And now I know how Yondu felt.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: You people have issues.
Peter Quill: Well, of course I have issues. That's my freakin' father!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He hates hats.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: On anyone, not just himself.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: [to Yondu]One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head, the next minute it's just because you realize part of that head is the hat.
Rocket: [to Groot]That's why you don't like hats?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from the closing credits] The Form of David Hasselhoff: In times of hardship, just remember: We. Are. Groot.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Ego: Listen to me! You are a god. If you kill me, you'll be just like everybody else!
Peter Quill: What's so wrong with that?
Ego: *No*!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[showing Groot how to arm the bomb] Rocket: All right, first you flick this switch, then this switch. That activates it. Then you push this button, which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Now, whatever you do, don't push *this* button, because that will set off the bomb immediately and we'll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Uh-huh.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: That's right.
Groot: [pointing to the death button]I am Groot.
Rocket: No! No, that's the button that will kill everyone! Try again.
Groot: Hmm. I am Groot.
Rocket: Mmm-hmm.
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Uh-huh.
Groot: [pointing to the death button]I am Groot.
Rocket: No! That's exactly what you just said! How is that even possible? Which button is the button you're supposed to push? Point to it. [Groot points to the death button]
Rocket: *No*!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Nebula: [sneering]Look at you, a Garden of the Galaxy!
Gamora: It's Guardian! Why would I be a Garden of the Galaxy? [Drax laughs]

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: [snickering]I'm sorry. I am so sorry! I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror and then in all seriousness saying to yourself, You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He's a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy. Earlier, it struck me... Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn't have the beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots... I guess David Hasselhoff did kind of end up being my dad after all. Only it was you, Yondu. [tearing up]
Peter Quill: I had a pretty cool dad. What I'm trying to say here is... sometimes that *thing* you're searching for your whole life... is right there by your side all along. And you don't even know it.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: I don't use my head to fly the arrow, boy! I use my heart.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from Trailer] Mantis: When I touch someone I can feel their feelings. [touches Quill's hand]
Mantis: You feel... love!
Peter Quill: Yeah, I guess - Yeah, I feel a general unselfish love for everyone.
Mantis: No. *Sexual* love...
Peter Quill: No. No, I don't.
Mantis: [points at Gamora]... for her!
Peter Quill: No! [Drax begins laughing hysterically]
Drax: She just told everyone you deepest, darkest secret! [Drax continues laughing]
Peter Quill: Dude! Come on! I think you're reacting a little bit!
Drax: You must be so embarrassed! [continues cracking up]
Drax: Do me! Do me! Do me!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Nebula: [to Gamora]All any of you do is yell at each other. You're not friends.
Drax: You're right... We're family.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: Do you know why I did it, Star-Munch? Hmm?
Peter Quill: I'm not gonna answer to Star-Munch.
Rocket: I did it because I wanted to!
Peter Quill: Dick.
Rocket: What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!
Drax: How little?
Rocket: [holding his thumb and forefinger close together]Well, I don't know, like this?
Gamora: [skeptically]A little one-inch man saved us?
Rocket: Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he would be much larger.
Peter Quill: It's how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon.
Rocket: *Don't call me a racoon*!
Peter Quill: I'm sorry. I took it too far. I meant trash panda. [Rocket looks around in confusion]
Rocket: Is that better?
Drax: I don't know.
Peter Quill: [snickering]It's worse. It's so much worse.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2