Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Quotes

Drax: How did you get to this weird dumb planet?
Mantis: Ego found me in my larva state. Orphaned on my home world. He raised me by hand, and kept me as his own.
Drax: So you're a pet.
Mantis: I suppose.
Drax: People usually want cute pets. Why would Ego want such a hideous one?
Mantis: I am hideous?
Drax: You are horrifying to look at. Yes. Bu-But that's a good thing.
Mantis: Oh?
Drax: When you're ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are... Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Mantis: Well, then I'm certainly grateful to be ugly.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: Ow! My nipples!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Kraglin: [to Yondu]I didn't mean to do a mutiny... They killed all my friends.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.
Rocket: Oh, it won't be my turd. It'll be Drax's.
Drax: [laughs]I have famously huge turds.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Mantis: [about Rocket]The crabby puppy is so cute. He makes me wanna die!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: [to Peter]I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right, but I'm damn proud you're my boy.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: You can go to hell, then! I don't give a damn what you think of me!
Stakar Ogord: So what are you following us for?
Yondu: Because you're gonna listen to what I gotta say!
Stakar Ogord: I don't gotta listen to nothing! You betrayed the code! Ravagers don't deal in kids.
Yondu: I told you before! I didn't know what was going on!
Stakar Ogord: You didn't know because you didn't want to know because it made you rich.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Gamora: What if this man *is* your Hasselhoff?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside. I must cut through it from the inside.
Gamora: Huh?... No, no! Drax, wait a minute! *Drax*! [Drax charges at the monster, and leaps down its throat]
Peter Quill: [horrified]What is he doing?
Gamora: He said the skin is too thick to be pierced on the outside. So he...
Peter Quill: But, that doesn't make any sense!
Gamora: I tried telling him that!
Peter Quill: Skin is the same level of thickness from the inside as from the outside!
Gamora: I *realize* that.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Mantis: If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.
Peter Quill: You read minds?
Mantis: No. Telepaths know thoughts. Empaths feel feelings. Emotions.
Mantis: [to Peter]May I?
Peter Quill: All right.
Mantis: [Mantis touches Peter's hand]You feel... love.
Peter Quill: Yeah. I guess, yeah, I feel a general, unselfish love for just about everybody...
Mantis: No! Romantic, sexual love.
Peter Quill: No. No, I don't.
Mantis: [points to Gamora]For her!
Peter Quill: No, no. No, I don't.
Mantis: [points to Gamora]For her.
Peter Quill: No! That is not... [Drax starts laughing hysterically]
Peter Quill: Okay... That's...
Drax: [still laughing]She just told everyone your deepest, darkest secret!
Peter Quill: Dude, come on, I think you're overreacting a little bit.
Drax: [still laughing]You must be so embarrassed!
Drax: [to Mantis]Do me! Do me! Do me! [Mantis touches Drax and she starts laughing hysterically]
Mantis: I've never felt such humor!
Peter Quill: So unbelievably uncool.
Drax: Oh, Quill... [Mantis walks over to Gamora to touch her]
Gamora: Touch me, and the *only* thing you're gonna feel is a broken jaw.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Watcher Informant: Oh, man. Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted. At that time, I was a Federal Express man...

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: You said you loved my mother.
Ego: And that I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But... it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.
Peter Quill: What?
Ego: Now, now, all right, I know that sounds bad... [Peter continuously shoots Ego with his Quad Blasters]
Ego: [reforming]Who... in the *hell*... do you think you are?
Peter Quill: *You killed my mother*!
Ego: I tried *so hard* to find the form...
The Form of David Hasselhoff: [changes form to David Hasselhoff]... that best *suited you*... and this is the thanks I get?
Ego: [changes back]You really need to *grow up*. [Ego pierces Quill with a beam of energy]
Ego: I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a *battery*!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Groot: [Repeated line]I am Groot.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from third mid-credit scene] Ayesha: That, my child, is the next step in our evolution. More powerful, more beautiful, more capable of *destroying* the Guardians of the Galaxy. I think I shall call him... Adam.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: Die, spaceship!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: This is weird. We've got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear.
Gamora: Why would they do that?
Drax: Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.
Rocket: Dude!
Drax: [awkwardly]Right... He didn't steal some of those. I don't know why they're after us. What a mystery this is.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Kraglin: Captain?
Yondu: What is it Kraglin?
Kraglin: Hey, remember that Ayesha chick?
Yondu: Yeah, why?
Kraglin: Uh... [Yondu sees a fleet of Sovereign ships appear]
Yondu: Oh, hell!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from second mid-credit scene] Stakar Ogord: You know, it's a shame that it took the tragedy of losing Yondu to bring us all together again. But I think he'd be proud knowing that we're back as a team.
Charlie-27: I'm in.
Martinex: Dope.
Mainframe: I miss you guys so much!
Aleta Ogord: Hell yes.
Stakar Ogord: What say we steal some shit?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: [to Taserface]What was your second choice? Scrotum Hat?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can't fool me. I know who you are.
Rocket: You don't know anything about me, loser.
Yondu: I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest and the hardest but actually you're the most scared of all.
Rocket: Shut up!
Yondu: I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's willing to put up with you 'cause just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is.
Rocket: I said shut up!
Yondu: I know them scientists what made you, never gave a rat's ass about you!
Rocket: I'm serious, dude!
Yondu: Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby, into slavery. I know who you are, boy. Because you're me!
Rocket: ...What kind of a pair are we?
Yondu: The kind that's about to go fight a planet, I reckon.
Rocket: All right, okay! Good, that's... Wait. Fight a what?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Drax: You don't have to believe in yourself, because I believe in you.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rocket: [about the Sovereign people]You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags, but that isn't true at all. [winks at Peter in front of the Sovereign leader, Ayesha]
Rocket: Oh shit. I'm using my wrong eye again, aren't I? I'm sorry. That was meant to be behind your back.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[from fifth mid-credit scene] Watcher Informant: [the Watchers leave]Hey, fellas. Hey, wait, where you going? Hey, you were supposed to be my lift home. How will I get outta here? Hey! Aw, gee. I've got so many more stories to tell. Aw, guys. Oh, gee.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Gamora: Can we put the bickering on hold until *after* we survive this massive space battle?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[Nebula connects herself to a ship's weapons] Yondu: This is gonna hurt!
Nebula: Promises, promises.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Gamora: You own a planet and can destroy two dozen spaceships without a suit. What are you exactly?
Ego: I'm what's called a Celestial, sweetheart.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Yondu: It ain't healthy for a mammalian body to hop more than 50 jumps at a time.
Rocket: I know that.
Yondu: We're about to do 700!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Ayesha: [to the Guardians]Just who the hell do you think you are?
Peter Quill: Well...

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
[All the Ravagers give tribute to Yondu] Martinex: [to Stakar]He didn't let us down after all, Captain?
Stakar Ogord: No, he did not, son. He did not.
Charlie-27: Fare thee well, old friend.
Aleta Ogord: Yondu Odonta, I will see you in the stars.

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill: Showtime, a-holes!

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2