Glee Quotes

April Rhodes: Hey, do you have any Nyquil? I could use a little pick-me-up.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Finn!

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: You're a liar! Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?
Finn: Who told you?
Rachel: Everyone knows, except me. I was a fool for going on a date with you, for letting you kiss me, and for actually thinking you had feelings for me.
Finn: I do. And I didn't tell you the whole truth, but that's not really lying. But I need a music scholarship, so I can go to college, get a job, take care of my kid.
Rachel: You could have been honest with me.
Finn: I know. And I know what I did was wrong. I get that. But that kiss was real.
Rachel: Well whatever it was, it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensèmble but my dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than you.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused…then furious.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: You have to remember something: we're dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: Dear Journal: Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then, at Cheerios practice: disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us nationals, and without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: Let me be frank. Your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn't belong to you.

TV Show: Glee
Terri: But I'm not a nurse. I work at Sheets 'n' Things.
Sue: I'm not an American citizen. I was born in the Panama Canal Zone. But I managed to get a passport and run for office twice.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: I know how lucky I am; captain of the football team, glee stud. I know I should be excited about Quinn. She's hot, popular, and she's carrying my baby and all, but I can't get Rachel out of my head. She kind of freaks me out in a Swim Fan kind of way, but she can really sing, and her body is smoking. If you're not into boobs.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: Being a guy my age is tough. Between Glee and football and school and being popular, I'm just kind of overwhelmed. Everyone wants something from me, and I don't have the energy to do it all. I don't know how important people like presidents or newscasters or mob bosses do it. My mom says I'm stretched too thin, so I gave up homework; but that didn't help. All I know is, last night I got vaporized on level two. Level two! And I didn't even have the energy to care.

TV Show: Glee
Terri: What time do you go to bed?
Finn: I don't know. Normally whatever time Skinemax starts showing regular movies again.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: It's deplorable, contemptable, and it's just plain wrong. It's also cheating.As a matter of fact, I'm going to start calling you F-Rod.
Finn: Hey, back off. I'm nothing like A-Rod. I would never take steroids. [whispers] It makes your junk fall off.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I feel terrible. Even if we win it won't be satisfying.
Finn: I know. I don't even remember performing.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I'm sorry for calling you contemptible and deplorable.
Finn: That's okay. I didn't even know what those words meant.

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: I don't see how lightning is in competition with an above ground swimming pool.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: You don't think people whisper about me in the lunchroom or draw pornographic pictures of me on the bathroom walls?
Quinn: That was me, actually.

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: Although I've been grouped with the boys, my allegiance remains with you ladies. They declined my offer to do their hair in cornrows, and all my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: While the boys chose a selection of songs that cast an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today’s modern teens, we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks to the nation as a whole during these troubling times of economic uncertainty and unbridled social woe, because if there’s two things America needs right now it’s sunshine and optimism. Also angels.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: We were just taking a lesson from Major League Baseball. It's not cheating if everyone does it.

TV Show: Glee
Mercedes: Relax, I've already picked out the songs, we're gonna do a mash-up of Halo and Walking On Sunshine.
Rachel: That was my idea.
Mercedes: Whatever.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior.

TV Show: Glee
Will: I will destroy you.
Sue: I am about to vomit down your back.
Will: It's on.

TV Show: Glee
Jacob Ben Israel: The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in this school.
Rachel: Ew.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: In fact, I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: I can't help picturing small birds laying sulphurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting.

TV Show: Glee
Will: [on a Cheerio] One of these kids spelled her name wrong and answered each question with a drawing of a sombrero.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: Your psychosexual derangement would be fascinating if it weren't so terrifying!

TV Show: Glee
Sue: What happened to our little agreement, huh? Will I be uploading a certain video to YouTube this afternoon?
Principal Figgins: Oh, Sue, I put it on YouTube myself, and it only got two hits! Let me break it down for you: nobody cares!

TV Show: Glee
Finn: I figured we should name our kid something more original and poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time: Drizzle!
Quinn: Drizzle?
Finn: Yeah, yeah, 'cause you know how awesome it is when it's just drizzling outside, but it's not really rain, so it smells like rain but you don't need an umbrella to go outside…
Quinn: Are you a moron?
Finn: What?
Quinn: We are not naming our baby Drizzle. We are not naming our baby anything. Finish your test, Finn. (to Brittany) Give me my test back.
Brittany: I just don’t understand anything.
Quinn: Not my problem.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: Sometimes I wish you were more like Rachel.
Quinn: Really?
Finn: Yeah. She cares about me. She cares about my feelings. She sticks up for me. She sticks up for the both of us. She gave Jacob a pair of her underpants to stop him writing the story about you.
Quinn: You think she did that for the both of us?
Finn: Yeah. That's what she told me.
Quinn: I know some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends…just don't do it with her.

TV Show: Glee