Dirty Jobs Quotes

Tom: [brewery employee] We filter it while it's cold, it'll be clear while it's warm.
Mike: Filter cold, clear warm.
Tom: Yes. If one were to filter it warm, it might not be clear cold. Is that clear?
Mike: You're a complicated man, Tom.
Tom: Come on, you tell that to all the boys.
Mike: For a guy with a hose you tell a good story.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: We're just a couple of guys squeezing the crap outta chicks.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
[Mike and Dave have added hops into another vat.]
Mike: How hot is it in there?
Dave: About 212 degrees. Boiling point.
Mike: That's boiling, yeah. That's why you keep that [lid] shut.
Dave: Yeah.
Mike: Safety first.
[Dave agrees]
Mike: Where are your safety goggles, Dave?
Dave: Uhh…
Mike: Uh-huh. I'll have a chat with OSHA.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
[Mike and Dave are looking down a vat that Mike is going to clean]
Mike: How hot is it down there?
Dave: 148 degrees.
Mike: Well it’s a dry heat.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mary: Roach Armageddon is about to commence.
Mike: Bring it on.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mark: You know you're a farrier when you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: Now does it occur to the crab that the chicken, being a land based animal, has no business at the bottom of the river?
Bill: No, he's never seen a chicken.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: Turns out shoes really do make the horse.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: You've seen worse, haven't you?
Matt: No, I haven't seen much worse, honestly.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: We conclude with a sandjob?
Matt: Always.
Mike: I love a happy ending!

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
[Mike and Todd are shoveling sludge]
Todd: So how does it rate?
Mike: On the seven levels of hell? Six...and a half.
Todd: I'm glad I could accommodate you.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mike: [referring to a drum of sludge] How much does it weigh?
Todd: About, uh, six hundred pounds. So let me get you the uh...
Mike: Yeah, get me something, like six other guys.
[Todd returns with a dolly]
Mike: Oh a dolly. Hello, dolly.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs
Mrs. Hunt: [while bottling honey in a bear] That's a two pound bear and that goes for $6.
Mike: So if a two pound bear goes for $6 and a one quart bottle goes for eight dollars, a one quart bottle must weigh over two pounds.
Mrs. Hunt: It's three pounds.
Mike: See? I did that all in my head!
Mrs. Hunt: Very good.
Mike: Thanks.

TV Show: Dirty Jobs