Chuck Quotes

Nurse: [sees Chuck, Mary, Sarah, Morgan and Casey outside the delivery room] Are you family?
All: Yes.

TV Show: Chuck
Lester: This baby needs a performance, delivery room style. This baby needs...Jeffster!

TV Show: Chuck
Lester: Ew...pregnant women.
Jeff: Ooh...pregnant women.

TV Show: Chuck
Chuck: [After Morgan comes rushing to Chuck to tell about the birth of Clara] General, General, can we borrow a van?
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski, you just arrested Alexei Volkoff and obtained the Hydra Network we have spent the last 20 years searching for. Lieutenant, get this man a chopper.

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: I look like a seal like this. A seal that does yoga. Yoga seal!

TV Show: Chuck
Devon: Listen, I've got to run. I still need to find someone to make Ellie's placenta into vitamin pills.
Chuck: Huh, I need to un-hear that. How do I un-hear that?

TV Show: Chuck
Captain Awesome: (holding his newborn baby girl) Awesome.

TV Show: Chuck
Sarah: Chuck, if we get caught because you sneeze we are officially the worst spies in the world.
Chuck: I know, bad Three Stooges. I get it and I won't. But man it is dusty!

TV Show: Chuck
Roan: So, last I saw you two, you were a young exciting couple, chasing, flirting. Now the silent treatment. Sexy.
Chuck: If you must know we are very much in love, happy and soon to be married. Just having a bit of a disagreement right now and the ball and chain isn't helping.
Sarah: Are you calling me a ball and chain?
Chuck: There is a ball and ch... There is an actual ball and chain, here. Do you not see this? On the ground attached to my leg? Ball and chain.
Sarah: Yes. What's with all the 'no's lately anyway?
Chuck: I may have been a little obstinante before.
Roan: Okay, let me guess, this is about something bigger. Performance issues?
Chuck: No! I am adequate. More than adequate in that depart... [to Sarah] Right? You can't agree. I... Sarah I don't want to elope. I just don't, not at all, not even the slightest bit. I always wanted a big family wedding and now more than ever so no. My answer to eloping is no.
Sarah: Okay, fine I hear what you're saying. But why do you get to say no? What about what I want?

TV Show: Chuck
Narrator: [opening sequence] They say it's a personality thing, but to me, a martini's got gin, not vodka. Some folks like chocolate. I'll take vanilla. I say baseball over football. And to me, man's best friend doesn't bark or catch a ball. See, personally, I like cats. Meet my Clandestine Attack Team. Better known as the CAT Squad. Me-ow. They were the best spy team in the business. The year... 2003. The girls... Cold-hearted Carina. [Carina shoots a man] Zondra, the bitch! [Zondra fights a number of men] Amy-- the party girl. [Amy defends herself from an attacker at a party] And... my pride and joy... Sarah Walker. [Sarah kicks a man and holds him at knifepoint] Go get 'em, cats!
[Smash cut to a chuckling Morgan, revealing the entire sequence to be in his imagination]

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: [about Carina] I can not be alone with that woman. She wants me. Badly. John, she desires my physical person!
Casey: And I'm hunting unicorns.

TV Show: Chuck
Sarah: [to Amy as the squad blocks her escape] Going somewhere, pussy?

TV Show: Chuck
Narrator: [closing voice-over, in reference to Ellie] Aw, who says cats can't play nice? You never know, maybe we'll add another member to this squad.
[Chuck watches from a distance and slowly smiles]

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: Your description of C.A.T. Squad has sent me into fantasy land.
Chuck: I don't want to know what goes on there.

TV Show: Chuck
Chuck: Look at all the bad guys I tranqed!

TV Show: Chuck
[Sarah and Chuck are robbing the First Bank of Macau as a diversion for Vivian]
Chuck: Having fun?
Sarah: A little.
Chuck: Kinda takes your mind off the whole wedding thing doesn't it?
Sarah: Actually it hasn't been so bad. I took you up on your advice and I found a dress.
Chuck: Hey!
Sarah: Ellie was right when I put it on it felt like magic. [to a bank patron] Get down on the ground before I blow your freaking head off!
Chuck: I'm so glad you found a dress. That's awesome and I bet you look gorgeous in it. [to a teller] Don't be a hero my friend! I will break your face!

TV Show: Chuck
Chuck: [after hearing Sarah make several outrageous demands for the wedding] What the heck was that?
Ellie: I think I created a monster.
Chuck: Yeah, well... 'Cause I work... I work... I work at the Buy More, and that stuff sounds kind of pricey.
Ellie: Maybe you could just pick up a few extra shifts... Or rob a bank.
Chuck: [having just robbed a bank] Ha! You...

TV Show: Chuck
Chuck: [to Noble and Dunwoody] So, are you guys a couple or something?
Rick Noble: Don't be ridiculous.
Victoria Dunwoody: It's against agency protocol.
Noble: Romantic entanglements lead to lapses in judgment.
Dunwoody: [to Chuck and Sarah] You ought to know.

TV Show: Chuck
Ellie: The problem is, I only have one test subject, so in order to control my experiment, we're going have to have a second baby. [Devon freezes] Joking.

TV Show: Chuck
Sarah: If the Turk's dog is behind that door, so is the Turk!
Chuck: All we gotta do is break through four inches of steel.
Sarah: Or we chop off Casey's hand.
Chuck: [shocked] Let's keep that as our backup plan, shall we?

TV Show: Chuck
Chuck: [outside Morgan and Casey's shared apartment] Let me in!
Morgan: Over my dead body Chuck.
Sarah: [breaking in through the ceiling] How about over your tranqed body?
Morgan: You were distracting me so she could break in.
Chuck Yeah.
Morgan: Clever girl. You using the five millimeter darts?
Sarah: Ten.
Morgan: Please tell Casey I put up a good fight! [Sarah tranquilizes him]

TV Show: Chuck
Devon: You're not "just" anything, Ellie.
Ellie: Really?
Devon: You're Mrs. Awesome.

TV Show: Chuck
Ellie: My dad's work is so amazing. I've never seen such creative use of neuroplasticity before. His mind is incredible!
Awesome: That's probably where Clara gets it. She said "arthroscopic" yesterday.
Ellie: Honey, if Clara can say "arthroscopic" she needs to stop pooping her pants.

TV Show: Chuck
Beckman: This time our search will be led my the only man who knows what it's really like being an Intersect. Chuck, we need you to find more Chucks.
Chuck: [nearly gloating] Well it's gonna be tough. Broke the mold, et cetera.

TV Show: Chuck
Casey: Good lord. Four more Chucks?

TV Show: Chuck
[Chuck tasks Morgan with testing the candidates' "cultural knowledge"]
Morgan: [to Lewis] Quick: Rush's best album?
Lewis: Ah! Caress of Steel.
Morgan: [imitates a buzzer] No. Next.

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: [to Damien]Charlton Hestonsci-fi question for you. What's cooler: Soylent Green or Omega Man?
Damien: Trick question. POTA.
Morgan: [whispering] Wow!
[Chuck nods his head in approval]

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: [to Josie] Favorite Bond: Connery excluded?
Josie: I have no opinion about any of this. Why do men care so much about these things? Nothing you're asking me matters at all. [Bentley nods her head in approval]
Morgan: [whispering to a confused Chuck] What on earth is she talking about?

TV Show: Chuck
Morgan: [to Brody] Most important graphic novelist: Grant Morrison or Moore/Gibbons?
Brody: Kind of a Brian Vaughan man, myself.
Chuck: [interrupts a disapproving Morgan] Actually... I've always secretly felt that way.
[Chuck and Brody nod in agreement]

TV Show: Chuck
Devon: [reading aloud a book to the baby] So, really, the missing link isn't actually missing. It's a misnomer when a fossil shows a specimen in a state of the intermediary development.
Ellie: [about something else] It's missing.
Devon: Babe, you really think it's wise to argue in front of the baby?

TV Show: Chuck