Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Buffy: Seeing Angel in LA, even for five minutes… hello to the pain.
Willow: The pain is not a friend.
Buffy: But I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Stakes a vampire) I wonder where I get that from?
Willow: The pain is not a friend.
Buffy: But I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Stakes a vampire) I wonder where I get that from?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy -
Buffy: [sarcastically] Giles, help! He's going to scold me.
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy -
Buffy: [sarcastically] Giles, help! He's going to scold me.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Spike and I are getting married!
Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.
Spike: [to Buffy] What are you looking at?
Buffy: The man I love.
[She and Spike kiss, long and salaciously. Xander and Anya avert their eyes.]
Xander: Can I be blind too?
Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.
Spike: [to Buffy] What are you looking at?
Buffy: The man I love.
[She and Spike kiss, long and salaciously. Xander and Anya avert their eyes.]
Xander: Can I be blind too?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: Don't I get a cookie?
Buffy: No.
Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
[Xander, Anya and Giles turn and stare incredulously at Buffy.]
Buffy: [embarrassed] ... That was the spell!
Buffy: No.
Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
[Xander, Anya and Giles turn and stare incredulously at Buffy.]
Buffy: [embarrassed] ... That was the spell!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Man, that was an exciting class, huh?
Buffy: Oh, yeah — wow.
Willow: And the last twenty minutes — it was a revelation. Just laid out everything we need to know for the final. I'd hate to have missed that.
Buffy: Just tell me I didn't snore.
Willow: Very discreet. Minimal drool.
Buffy: Oh, yeah — wow.
Willow: And the last twenty minutes — it was a revelation. Just laid out everything we need to know for the final. I'd hate to have missed that.
Buffy: Just tell me I didn't snore.
Willow: Very discreet. Minimal drool.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[At Giles's apartment, Xander and Anya are arguing about their relationship.]
Xander: If you don't know how I feel about -
Anya: I don't. This isn't a relationship! You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
[The others are silent with disbelief.]
Xander: OK... remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.
Xander: If you don't know how I feel about -
Anya: I don't. This isn't a relationship! You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
[The others are silent with disbelief.]
Xander: OK... remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Xander ties Spike to a chair before getting into bed.]
Spike: Don't see why I have to be tied up.
Xander: It's just while I'm sleeping.
Spike: Like I'd bite you, anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.
Spike: Don't see why I have to be tied up.
Xander: It's just while I'm sleeping.
Spike: Like I'd bite you, anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Forrest Gates: [to Riley] This is the burden we bear brother. We have a gig that inevitably would cause any girl living to think that we are cool upon cool. Yet we must Clark Kent our way through the day never to use it to our advantage. Thank God we're pretty.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Discussing Willow's wicca group]
Buffy: So not stellar, huh?
Willow: Talk. All talk. Blah blah Gaia, blah blah moon, menstrual life-force power thingy. You know after a couple of sessions I was hoping we would get into something real but...
Buffy: No actual witches in your witch group.
Willow: No, bunch of wanna-blessed-bes.
Buffy: So not stellar, huh?
Willow: Talk. All talk. Blah blah Gaia, blah blah moon, menstrual life-force power thingy. You know after a couple of sessions I was hoping we would get into something real but...
Buffy: No actual witches in your witch group.
Willow: No, bunch of wanna-blessed-bes.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Spike pulling the big red leather chair in Xander’s basement to one side of the water leaking from the ceiling.]
Spike: Soddin' sleeping chair is bloody – sodden.
Spike: Soddin' sleeping chair is bloody – sodden.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: I have to get to work
Spike: Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated.
Spike: Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[The gang discusses a mysterious symbol.]
Willow: Right. It was carved into his chest, like a big creepy eye.
Xander: It's kind of like the CBS logo. Hey, could this be the handiwork of one Mr. Morley Safer?
Buffy: I'm telling you I've seen this somewhere before. I just can't remember where! I mean, it's like...
Giles: It's the end of the world.
Buffy, Willow, Xander: Again?
Giles: It's, ah, the earthquake... that symbol... yes.
Buffy: I told you. I-I said "end of the world", and you're like "poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo"!
Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.
Willow: Right. It was carved into his chest, like a big creepy eye.
Xander: It's kind of like the CBS logo. Hey, could this be the handiwork of one Mr. Morley Safer?
Buffy: I'm telling you I've seen this somewhere before. I just can't remember where! I mean, it's like...
Giles: It's the end of the world.
Buffy, Willow, Xander: Again?
Giles: It's, ah, the earthquake... that symbol... yes.
Buffy: I told you. I-I said "end of the world", and you're like "poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo"!
Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Besides, look on the bright side. If we don't come up with a solution, we might face an apocalypse.
Spike: [extremely happy] Really? You're not just saying that?
Spike: [extremely happy] Really? You're not just saying that?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: [To Xander] Kids your age are heading off to University. You've made it as far as the basement. And Red here couldn't even keep Dog Boy happy. You can take the loser out of high school, but...
Willow: I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you.
Spike: I'm not. I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.
Willow: I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you.
Spike: I'm not. I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: "I wonder where I've seen this before" - Where else? The place I spend most of my waking hours memorizing stuff off the sides of mausoleums. Big freaky cereal boxes of death.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: I wasn't exactly pining for a noisy visit from Wonder Johnathan and his fluffy battle kitten.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Professor Walsh: It's only our methods that differ; we use the latest in scientific technology and state of the art weaponry and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick.
Buffy: Er, its more effective then it sounds-
Maggie Walsh: Oh, I'm - quite sure of that. As I'm just as sure that we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance into the Initiative, I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here alone has killed and captured... How many is it?
Riley: Seventeen : eleven vampires, six demons.
Buffy: Oh... wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.
Maggie Walsh: What about you?
Buffy: Me?
Maggie Walsh: How many Hostiles would you say you've slain?
Buffy: [uncomfortably searches for the right words]
Buffy: Er, its more effective then it sounds-
Maggie Walsh: Oh, I'm - quite sure of that. As I'm just as sure that we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance into the Initiative, I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here alone has killed and captured... How many is it?
Riley: Seventeen : eleven vampires, six demons.
Buffy: Oh... wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.
Maggie Walsh: What about you?
Buffy: Me?
Maggie Walsh: How many Hostiles would you say you've slain?
Buffy: [uncomfortably searches for the right words]
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Riley: But you killed the- You did that thing with that- Uh, you drowned. And the snake! Not to mention... daily... slayage of... Wow.
Buffy: It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream?
Riley: Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".
Buffy: [Light-heartedly] Look, if you were fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume too!
Riley: Fifteen?!
Buffy: It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream?
Riley: Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".
Buffy: [Light-heartedly] Look, if you were fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume too!
Riley: Fifteen?!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Spike is in the process of moving out of Xander's basement.]
Xander: You own nothing. This shouldn't be taking so long.
Spike: Hang on. Let a fella get organized. [picks up radio.]
Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
Xander: You own nothing. This shouldn't be taking so long.
Spike: Hang on. Let a fella get organized. [picks up radio.]
Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Spike. Wonderful. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Spike: Giles?
Giles: Go on, then. Let's get on with the fighting -- You understand me?
Spike: Of course I understand you.
Giles: I'm speaking English?
Spike: No, you're speaking Fyarl. I happen to speak Fyarl. And... by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning?
Spike: Giles?
Giles: Go on, then. Let's get on with the fighting -- You understand me?
Spike: Of course I understand you.
Giles: I'm speaking English?
Spike: No, you're speaking Fyarl. I happen to speak Fyarl. And... by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?
Giles: Y-you help me and I-I don't kill you.
Spike: Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter.
Giles: Money. I could pay you money.
Spike: Oh, I like money. How much?
Giles: A h-hundred dollars.
Spike: A hundred dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two hundred.
Giles: Y-you help me and I-I don't kill you.
Spike: Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter.
Giles: Money. I could pay you money.
Spike: Oh, I like money. How much?
Giles: A h-hundred dollars.
Spike: A hundred dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two hundred.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend.
Anya: [offhandedly while stacking her chips] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
[Xander loses control of the deck he was shuffling.]
Anya: [offhandedly while stacking her chips] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
[Xander loses control of the deck he was shuffling.]
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Will, I think you better get used to- a Twinkie!? That's his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished.
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Professor Walsh. That simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Adam: [After killing Professor Walsh, his first act of life] Mommy.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Sorry, I'm the only one that can pass the retinal scan.
Xander: The... ew! I don't wanna see that.
Buffy: Retinal scan, Xander.
Xander: The... ew! I don't wanna see that.
Buffy: Retinal scan, Xander.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Make out with me.
Buffy: What?
Xander: As a way to hide. They always do that in movies.
Buffy: This is the Initiative, Xander. Military people don't make out with science people.
Xander: Maybe that's what's wrong with the world. You ever think about that?
Buffy: What?
Xander: As a way to hide. They always do that in movies.
Buffy: This is the Initiative, Xander. Military people don't make out with science people.
Xander: Maybe that's what's wrong with the world. You ever think about that?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy, Willow, and Anya are watching Road Runner in bed in Xander's Basement]
Buffy: That would never happen.
Willow: Well no, Buff. That's why they're called cartoons not documentaries.
Buffy: That would never happen.
Willow: Well no, Buff. That's why they're called cartoons not documentaries.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make it pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine.
[uncomfortable pause]
Buffy: That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.
[uncomfortable pause]
Buffy: That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer