Bottom Quotes
Eddie: Well, how d'you know they're cannibals?
Richie: Old jungle trick, Eddie. Big cannibal giveaway. They're cooking someone in a pot.
Eddie: No, he's just having a bath, isn't he?
Richie: What, with an onion up his bum?
Eddie: He could be French.
Richie: Old jungle trick, Eddie. Big cannibal giveaway. They're cooking someone in a pot.
Eddie: No, he's just having a bath, isn't he?
Richie: What, with an onion up his bum?
Eddie: He could be French.
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: ufasa retanga eranu uvavu
Richie: Eddie, have you been stealing material again?
Richie: Eddie, have you been stealing material again?
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Oh, Eddie, think what we're missing... like a script!
Eddie: Well, we're not so much missing a script, are we, it's just that you can't fucking remember it.
Eddie: Well, we're not so much missing a script, are we, it's just that you can't fucking remember it.
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Hey, if you could be anyone in the world, who would it be?
Eddie: Angus Deayton.
Richie: Angus Deayton, why?
Eddie: Because he's got autocue.
Richie: Oh yeah, lucky bastard.
Eddie: Yes, you could have done with that tonight, couldn't you?
Eddie: Angus Deayton.
Richie: Angus Deayton, why?
Eddie: Because he's got autocue.
Richie: Oh yeah, lucky bastard.
Eddie: Yes, you could have done with that tonight, couldn't you?
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Hey Eddie, fancy a cocktail before bed? How 'bout a Bloody Mavis?
Eddie: Now, that's the one that's made from gin, blood, and porcupine shit? Without the gin?
Richie: Alright, how about a Coconut Surprise?
Eddie: [Whining] Is that the one with Napalm?
Richie: No! No! ...well, maybe a bit.
Eddie: Now, that's the one that's made from gin, blood, and porcupine shit? Without the gin?
Richie: Alright, how about a Coconut Surprise?
Eddie: [Whining] Is that the one with Napalm?
Richie: No! No! ...well, maybe a bit.
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Why are the Scots such arseholes, Eddie?
Eddie: Do you mind? I happen to be part Scottish myself, you know!
Richie: Really, Eddie? Which part?
Eddie: My arsehole.
Eddie: Do you mind? I happen to be part Scottish myself, you know!
Richie: Really, Eddie? Which part?
Eddie: My arsehole.
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: What sort of bloke?
Eddie: Well, he was wearing a scuba-diving outfit, and had a pronounced French accent. I think he may have been a Frogman.
Eddie: Well, he was wearing a scuba-diving outfit, and had a pronounced French accent. I think he may have been a Frogman.
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: We had a wank in the interval. That's what the interval is for. And I bet you had one too, didn't you? 'Cos you look like a wanker!
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: I think my theory holds water.
Eddie: And what theory is that?
Richie: That our diet has got something to do with what we eat.
Eddie: I thought it was your pants that had something to do with what you'd eat.
Eddie: And what theory is that?
Richie: That our diet has got something to do with what we eat.
Eddie: I thought it was your pants that had something to do with what you'd eat.
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: Well, you were the one who sawed the captain in half.
Richie: HE was a volunteer.
Eddie: No, no, HE was trying to stop the show.
Richie: Well anyway, the trick worked brilliantly! We sawed him in half!
Eddie: Yeah, I think the essence of the trick is in the joining back together.
Richie: Details, details. It's in the sawing where the real essence lies, and we accomplished that with panache.
Eddie: No we didn't, we were hacking away at him for hours!
Richie: HE was a volunteer.
Eddie: No, no, HE was trying to stop the show.
Richie: Well anyway, the trick worked brilliantly! We sawed him in half!
Eddie: Yeah, I think the essence of the trick is in the joining back together.
Richie: Details, details. It's in the sawing where the real essence lies, and we accomplished that with panache.
Eddie: No we didn't, we were hacking away at him for hours!
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: Oh, I'm gold, man, solid gold.
Richie: Eddie, will you stop this Disney shite? We're going to get sued to buggery quite apart from eaten to fuck!
Richie: Eddie, will you stop this Disney shite? We're going to get sued to buggery quite apart from eaten to fuck!
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Well it just goes to show there's no escape for us that way is there eddie? if we even think to take on the dangers of the-m-mighty pacific (pause)(the audience cheer)
Richie: ....Fish are fucking frisky tonight! if we even think of taking on the mighty pacific (audience murmurs) i haven't finished yet! we'd almost certainly trip over a few little bits of wire (waits for audiences response which is dismal)
Eddie: Yeeeees...or get a papercut
Richie: ....Fish are fucking frisky tonight! if we even think of taking on the mighty pacific (audience murmurs) i haven't finished yet! we'd almost certainly trip over a few little bits of wire (waits for audiences response which is dismal)
Eddie: Yeeeees...or get a papercut
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Oh Eddie! Oh Eddie! Oh Eddie!
Eddie: And whenever you can't remember you go OH EDDIE.
Richie: Oh Eddie.
Eddie: (turns to face Richie) Yes?
Richie: Oh Eddie.
Eddie: Yeah, that's my name! I think we established that in act one!
Richie: (panicking) oooooohhhh Eddie...oh god...(relisation hits him) ah! aha! ha!
Eddie: And whenever you can't remember you go OH EDDIE.
Richie: Oh Eddie.
Eddie: (turns to face Richie) Yes?
Richie: Oh Eddie.
Eddie: Yeah, that's my name! I think we established that in act one!
Richie: (panicking) oooooohhhh Eddie...oh god...(relisation hits him) ah! aha! ha!
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: (cutting off the audience) He probably hasn't got the right one.
Richie: ......Fuck!
Richie: ......Fuck!
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Behold the mighty Albatross! See it soar, watch it swoop...
Eddie: Yes. Watch it circle, watch it loop-the-loop, watch it get the fucking prop man sacked!
Eddie: Yes. Watch it circle, watch it loop-the-loop, watch it get the fucking prop man sacked!
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: Well, I'm glad I can amuse you all in my own humble little way. Welcome to sophisticated fucking Bristol. (puts on a Bristol accent) "Ooh, it was fuckin' great, fuckin' seagull shat on 'is 'ead an' we all fuckin' pissed ourselves!"
TV Show: Bottom
Eddie: Yes and here they are, the completely wild knives... covered in wild albatross shit.
TV Show: Bottom
Richie: Hello?
Eddie: Hello!
Richie: No not you!
Eddie: Maybe I wasn't replying to you.
Richie: So then, there really is someone else here?
Eddie: Yeah I'm afraid so.
Richie: Who is it?
Eddie: Its me! Hello!
Eddie: Hello!
Richie: No not you!
Eddie: Maybe I wasn't replying to you.
Richie: So then, there really is someone else here?
Eddie: Yeah I'm afraid so.
Richie: Who is it?
Eddie: Its me! Hello!
TV Show: Bottom