Wet Hot American Summer Quotes

Beth: Hey, you; penny for your thoughts.
Henry: Beth, tomorrow is the least of our problems.
Beth: Don't tell me, oh, don't tell me, don't even tell me you have crabs!
Henry: No... Yes, but that's not the point.

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Katie: Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and **** his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Andy: [to Katie] **** you, dyke!

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Caped Boy: Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. [He chuckles, and there is an awkward silence at the table]
Caped Boy: Anyone? Alexa! [Alexa gives him a withering glare]
Caped Boy: Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me.
Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag!
Caped Boy: Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you. [Keith walks off]
Alexa: Ewww!

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Gail: I hope you like shrimp cocktail, because I want you to be guests of honor at our wedding next week!
Beth: Well, I hope it's not jumbo shrimp because I'm allergic to oxymorons!

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Gene: Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary: Come on - what?
Gene: Finish up the taters.
Gary: And then what did you say?
Gene: And then what did I say?
Gary: You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene: Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said... fondue the cheddar... I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary: No, Gene, that is *not* what you said.
Gene: That *is* what I said. Fondue cheddar.

Movie: Wet Hot American Summer