According to Jim Quotes

Andy: Hey Jim, Did you know there are almost 800,000 people living in Djibouti?
Jim: Hey look at this, You know what Djibouti's leading export is?... Natural Gas.
Jim: Alright, Alright, Alright, We know this is tough, we are just trying to lighten it up a little bit.
Dana: Well don't, It's not funny. My husband's stuck in Djibouti and he can't get out. [Jim and Andy crack up]
Dana: Stop it. There is a civil war going on, Djibouti could be split right down the middle.

TV Show: According to Jim
Cheryl: [Cheryl is desperate to talk Jim out of wanting something, and is trying to think of things to replace it] How about... sex with another woman?
Jim: [brief pause] You or me?

TV Show: According to Jim
Gracie: Trophies are stupid and all the others are nerds. It's like being with 50 other Uncle Andys.

TV Show: According to Jim
Jim: Dana, while Ryan is away I want you to move in with us.
Dana: What's the catch? You gonna sell my baby?

TV Show: According to Jim
Jim: Everyone, circumcise your watches!

TV Show: According to Jim