The Nostalgia Critic Quotes

Edison: [to McMillan] You surf?
Nostalgia Critic: Of course he surfs. He didn't just bring his stunt double for nothing, did he?

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic
Nostalgia Critic: Hi, this is the Nostalgia Critic.
Tommy Wiseau: Oh, hi, Nostalgia Critic. What do you want?
Nostalgia Critic: Well I did a review of your movie a week ago and it was taken down because your studio claimed copyright infringement even though it's obviously a review so it's covered by fair use as well as satire parody clause.
Tommy Wiseau: Ha ha ha ha. What a funny story, Critic.
Nostalgia Critic: Actually, it's not. It's really annoying.

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic
Nostalgia Critic: You know what you need to do, Dr. Smith?
Spider Smith: Does it involve spiders?
Nostalgia Critic: No, you need to be diabolical. Actually fool people into thinking you're a kind, gentle, caring person. You think you can do that?
Spider Smith: [thinks for a moment] I think the boat sort of sailed on that one.
Nostalgia Critic: Alright, well don't bother me anymore. I got a review to do.
Spider Smith: Wait, there is one more important thing. It's imperative that you must know!
Nostalgia Critic: What? What?
Spider Smith: Spiders!

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic
Nostalgia Critic: In the city, we meet the Lee brothers, Jimmy and Billy. They meet every Wednesday at the Karate Kid reenactment guild as they practice their infamous karate moves: like the fire-blazing drop kick, the fearsome, raging roundhouse, and the fatal demon-head nookie of doom. It's a terrifying world where criminals wave their fingers at you, little people do... whatever the hell this is, and news programs are hosted by George Hamilton and Vanna White. Wait, what?

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic
Nostalgia Critic: This is wrong. This is a holocaust of wrong.

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic
Nostalgia Critic: So she becomes the fearsome Batgirl, the only character in this movie who should have bat-nipples, but doesn't seem to have them.

Movie: The Nostalgia Critic