The Fundamentals of Caring Quotes

Dot: I told you I only date assholes.
Trevor: Yes, and I'm not an asshole. And since you want an asshole, my not being an asshole makes me more of an asshole than the assholes that you normally date, because they're giving you exactly what you want, whereas I, by not being an asshole, am not. Which makes me an asshole.
Dot: I can't believe I actually understood that.

Movie: The Fundamentals of Caring
Dot: Trev, what would you do in that situation?
Trevor: Oh, I'd most likely shit myself.
Ben: And I most likely would have to clean it up.
Dot: Don't worry about them. They're idiots.
Peaches: Oh, okay.
Ben: I have to clean him up when he shits himself.
Dot: God.

Movie: The Fundamentals of Caring
Peaches: What's it like being a parent?
Ben: Every corny thing you've heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true... It's the only reason we're here.

Movie: The Fundamentals of Caring
Dot: I've have exactly one life, and for reasons I myself don't really understand, I now believe that life somehow will not be fulfilled unless I'm standing at the bottom of the worlds deepest pit with you two perverts!

Movie: The Fundamentals of Caring
Ben: I'm getting a patty melt, I don't give a shit.

Movie: The Fundamentals of Caring