The Critic Quotes

Jay Sherman: You don't think I'm gay, do you?
Doris: No man in his right mind would sleep with you.
Jay Sherman: Thank you!

Movie: The Critic
Nostalgia Critic: So that's Jaws 3D, or as I like to call it: shit.

Movie: The Critic
Police Chief: [in "Beverly Hills Robo K9 Cop and a Half 2" movie] You'll be partnering with a woman, a cute little kid, an ugly old dog, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun.
Leprechaun: I'll be your lucky charm! [Leprechaun explodes]
Police Officer: [who looks suspiciously like Arnold S] You think you've got problems? I'm partnered with a pig, an alien, Siamese twins, a sofa, and a second rate mime.

Movie: The Critic
The Nostalgia Critic: This is like Spinal Tap, only not funny.
The Angry Video Game Nerd: More like Spinal Crap.

Movie: The Critic
[on Phillipsvision, a machine that changes sad film endings to happier ones]
Jay Sherman: I don't want Rhett coming back to Scarlett. I don't want the guy from "My Left Foot" to become a punter for the Bears. I want Debra Winger, Ali MacGraw and Bambi's mother to die!

Movie: The Critic