Stargate SG-1 Quotes
[The Stargate fails mid-dial; SG-1 look up to see Martin Lloyd shrug and excitedly wave them back up to the conference room.]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [whispering to Carter] Fix it.
Dr. Jackson: Quickly.
Lt. Col. Carter: I'm on it. [leaves]
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [whispering to Carter] Fix it.
Dr. Jackson: Quickly.
Lt. Col. Carter: I'm on it. [leaves]
Teal'c: Indeed.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 disputes the plausibility that they could make it to a 'gate through an army of Jaffa with Replicators behind them in ten seconds.]
Dr. Jackson: Are you serious?
Martin Lloyd: What?
Dr. Jackson: How did we escape?
Vala: They.
Dr. Jackson: Fine, they, they, they. How did they escape?
Martin Lloyd: Isn't it obvious?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, we couldn't never have made it to the Gate and dialed out in under...10 seconds.
Martin Lloyd: Good. See, that's why we're here! So, what do you think, 30 seconds? Ma-maybe not such a round number. How about...38!
[In reference to the fact that the Stargate can only stay open for 38 minutes.]
Dr. Jackson: Are you serious?
Martin Lloyd: What?
Dr. Jackson: How did we escape?
Vala: They.
Dr. Jackson: Fine, they, they, they. How did they escape?
Martin Lloyd: Isn't it obvious?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, we couldn't never have made it to the Gate and dialed out in under...10 seconds.
Martin Lloyd: Good. See, that's why we're here! So, what do you think, 30 seconds? Ma-maybe not such a round number. How about...38!
[In reference to the fact that the Stargate can only stay open for 38 minutes.]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Carter: We're running another diagnostic, but right now we're stumped. Power's getting through to the capacitors, but for some reason the charge isn't holding. That's causing the control crystal to send feedback into the interface and reset the programming code of the base computer's dialing protocol.
Martin Lloyd: Whoa! That was awesome! Say that again!
Lt. Col. Carter: ...No.
Martin Lloyd: Oh. Uh, everybody take five. I, I gotta get that down before I forget it. [to self] The power getting to the flux capacitor, but feedback is not feeding back into the feedback...face. This is gold!
Martin Lloyd: Whoa! That was awesome! Say that again!
Lt. Col. Carter: ...No.
Martin Lloyd: Oh. Uh, everybody take five. I, I gotta get that down before I forget it. [to self] The power getting to the flux capacitor, but feedback is not feeding back into the feedback...face. This is gold!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[The Stargate is overloading with power.]
Lt. Col. Carter: Siler, manually cut the power!
[Siler tries to and is thrown across the Gate room.]
Sgt. Siler: [angry] Why does this always happen to me?
[Dan Shea, who plays Sgt. Siler is the stunt coordinator for Stargate SG-1 and stunt double for Richard Dean Anderson]
Lt. Col. Carter: Siler, manually cut the power!
[Siler tries to and is thrown across the Gate room.]
Sgt. Siler: [angry] Why does this always happen to me?
[Dan Shea, who plays Sgt. Siler is the stunt coordinator for Stargate SG-1 and stunt double for Richard Dean Anderson]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[After the Star Trek sequence.]
Dr. Jackson: Hang on.
Martin Lloyd: What?
Dr. Jackson: One, that's Star Trek and two, it's ridiculous.
Martin Lloyd: What's wrong with it?
Lt. Col. Carter: "The singularity is about to explode?"
Martin Lloyd: Yes.
Lt. Col. Carter: Everything about the statement is wrong.
Dr. Jackson: And how exactly is weapons at maximum going to help the situation?
Martin Lloyd: The audience isn't going to know, but they love weapons at maximum.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Never underestimate your audience. They're usually sensitive, intelligent people, who will respond positively to quality entertainment.
Teal'c: I do not understand why everything in this script must inevitably explode.
Dr. Jackson: Hang on.
Martin Lloyd: What?
Dr. Jackson: One, that's Star Trek and two, it's ridiculous.
Martin Lloyd: What's wrong with it?
Lt. Col. Carter: "The singularity is about to explode?"
Martin Lloyd: Yes.
Lt. Col. Carter: Everything about the statement is wrong.
Dr. Jackson: And how exactly is weapons at maximum going to help the situation?
Martin Lloyd: The audience isn't going to know, but they love weapons at maximum.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Never underestimate your audience. They're usually sensitive, intelligent people, who will respond positively to quality entertainment.
Teal'c: I do not understand why everything in this script must inevitably explode.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teenage Teal'c: Yo! Wonderbread! You got that address figured out?
Teenage Daniel: Chill T! I'm like, translating as fast as I can!
Teenage Vala: I am so sick of being treated as an object to be worshiped! I am a real person with real feelings!
Teenage Daniel: : You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore...
Teenage Vala: I'm pregnant.
[Cut to SG-1 in the conference room.]
Lt. Col. Carter: Uh-uh.
Dr. Jackson: No.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [incredulous look] Nope.
Teal'c: [sullen silence]
Martin Lloyd: I need a latte...
Teenage Daniel: Chill T! I'm like, translating as fast as I can!
Teenage Vala: I am so sick of being treated as an object to be worshiped! I am a real person with real feelings!
Teenage Daniel: : You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore...
Teenage Vala: I'm pregnant.
[Cut to SG-1 in the conference room.]
Lt. Col. Carter: Uh-uh.
Dr. Jackson: No.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [incredulous look] Nope.
Teal'c: [sullen silence]
Martin Lloyd: I need a latte...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: Okay, how 'bout this: We're in a cloaked cargoship on a simple 3 hour reconnaissance mission...
Martin Lloyd: Gilligan's Island, right?
Vala: You got that from 3 hour reconnaissance mission?
Martin Lloyd: Here's a advice: if you're gonna rip something off, pick something a bit more obscure.
Martin Lloyd: Gilligan's Island, right?
Vala: You got that from 3 hour reconnaissance mission?
Martin Lloyd: Here's a advice: if you're gonna rip something off, pick something a bit more obscure.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Vala is imagining SG-1 as characters inFarscape.]
Aeryn-Vala: Call me farhbot, but they're going to have our mivonks on a platter if we don't starburst the draz out of here.
Crichton-Daniel: The cluster's been damaged! We're not going anywhere!
Chianna-Carter: Oh, dren!
D'Argo-Teal'c: Hezmana!
Aeryn-Vala: Frell!
Stark-Mitchell: Aw, son of a hazmot!
Rygel-Thor: Yotz!
Aeryn-Vala: Call me farhbot, but they're going to have our mivonks on a platter if we don't starburst the draz out of here.
Crichton-Daniel: The cluster's been damaged! We're not going anywhere!
Chianna-Carter: Oh, dren!
D'Argo-Teal'c: Hezmana!
Aeryn-Vala: Frell!
Stark-Mitchell: Aw, son of a hazmot!
Rygel-Thor: Yotz!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: I'm pretty sure I have read all the reports recently.
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually you haven't read 30185.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: 30185? ... What's that?
Dr. Jackson: We can't tell you.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: What do you mean you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind! What–what is 30185?
Lt. Col. Carter: We were sworn to secrecy.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, why even mention it to me if you're not going to tell me what it is?
Lt. Col.Carter: Sorry.
Vala: Can you tell me?
Dr. Jackson: Oh yeah, we can tell you.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, that can't have anything to do with me, I wasn't born 'til a year later.
Dr. Jackson: Actually, it was nine months before he was born.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: What?
Lt. Col. Carter: You have to remember, it was the Sixties...
Dr. Jackson: C'mon, you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Jack? ...O'Neill?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Carter: Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you didn't think you should get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
Vala: [laughing] Wait. Are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: ...my daddy?
Dr. Jackson: All starting to make sense now, isn't it?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Awww, I'm being Punk'd, aren't I?
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually you haven't read 30185.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: 30185? ... What's that?
Dr. Jackson: We can't tell you.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: What do you mean you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind! What–what is 30185?
Lt. Col. Carter: We were sworn to secrecy.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, why even mention it to me if you're not going to tell me what it is?
Lt. Col.Carter: Sorry.
Vala: Can you tell me?
Dr. Jackson: Oh yeah, we can tell you.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, that can't have anything to do with me, I wasn't born 'til a year later.
Dr. Jackson: Actually, it was nine months before he was born.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: What?
Lt. Col. Carter: You have to remember, it was the Sixties...
Dr. Jackson: C'mon, you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Jack? ...O'Neill?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Carter: Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you didn't think you should get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
Vala: [laughing] Wait. Are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: ...my daddy?
Dr. Jackson: All starting to make sense now, isn't it?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Awww, I'm being Punk'd, aren't I?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Referring to the Stargate]
Puppet Gen. Hammond: We created this multi-billion dollar facility under Cheyenne Mountain so that we can use this thing. Anyone know how?
Puppet Gen. Hammond: And now, what this team needs is a leader, someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy, even when it's inappropriate… Colonel Jack O'Neill.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: I thought I told you I was retired.
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Oh, I thought you said you were tired.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired...
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Well, There's no time for that now, you've got a team to command.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: Right!
Puppet Gen. Hammond: We created this multi-billion dollar facility under Cheyenne Mountain so that we can use this thing. Anyone know how?
Puppet Gen. Hammond: And now, what this team needs is a leader, someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy, even when it's inappropriate… Colonel Jack O'Neill.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: I thought I told you I was retired.
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Oh, I thought you said you were tired.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired...
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Well, There's no time for that now, you've got a team to command.
Puppet Col. O'Neill: Right!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Just before dialing the Stargate]
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Sergeant, make it spin!
Puppet Sgt. Harriman: Spin? Sir.... it doesn't spin.
Puppet Gen. Hammond: What? It has to spin, it's round. Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning. I am the General, and I want it to spin! Now!
[This may be a reference to the Atlantis Stargates, which don't spin and cannot be dialed manually.]
Puppet Gen. Hammond: Sergeant, make it spin!
Puppet Sgt. Harriman: Spin? Sir.... it doesn't spin.
Puppet Gen. Hammond: What? It has to spin, it's round. Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning. I am the General, and I want it to spin! Now!
[This may be a reference to the Atlantis Stargates, which don't spin and cannot be dialed manually.]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[The crew suggested to replace the actors with puppets.]
Martin Lloyd: [sarcastically] Yeaaah...that will work...a whole movie made with puppets...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: I was just sayi...
Martin Lloyd: Maybe we can have Puppet O'Neill jump over a puppet shark on a one-third scale motorcycle!
Vala: I don't get it.
Martin Lloyd: [sarcastically] Yeaaah...that will work...a whole movie made with puppets...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: I was just sayi...
Martin Lloyd: Maybe we can have Puppet O'Neill jump over a puppet shark on a one-third scale motorcycle!
Vala: I don't get it.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Martin Lloyd: I'm talking about ...a twist; something nobody's expecting!
Gen. O'Neill: [walks in the door] You mean something like this?
Vala: Wow, I don't think anybody will see that coming.
Dr. Jackson: Nope, there'll be spoilers.
Lt. Col. Carter: Are you kidding? It'll be in the commercial.
[Carter was correct; the scene in which O'Neill appears was part of the commercial for "200"]
Gen. O'Neill: [walks in the door] You mean something like this?
Vala: Wow, I don't think anybody will see that coming.
Dr. Jackson: Nope, there'll be spoilers.
Lt. Col. Carter: Are you kidding? It'll be in the commercial.
[Carter was correct; the scene in which O'Neill appears was part of the commercial for "200"]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Teal'c pitches a story to Martin Lloyd]
Announcer (Isaac Hayes): When it comes to fighting crime, there's only one man keepin' the street safe, while keepin' it real.
[Teal'c, dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora, pitches a guy through a glass door. He steps through the broken door, looks down at the unconscious guy and strokes the brim of his hat]
Teal'c: In-deed.
Announcer: Teal'c PI, coming this fall.
[Cut to a shot of Martin Lloyd, looking patronizing]
Martin Lloyd: I love it...
[Shot of Teal'c looking pleased]
Martin Lloyd: ...I'm just not sure the studio will...uh...
[Shot of Teal'c looking vaguely threatening, leaning toward Martin]
Martin Lloyd: Whoops, there's my phone... [he puts his phone to his ear] ...go for Marty... [he scurries off]
Announcer (Isaac Hayes): When it comes to fighting crime, there's only one man keepin' the street safe, while keepin' it real.
[Teal'c, dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora, pitches a guy through a glass door. He steps through the broken door, looks down at the unconscious guy and strokes the brim of his hat]
Teal'c: In-deed.
Announcer: Teal'c PI, coming this fall.
[Cut to a shot of Martin Lloyd, looking patronizing]
Martin Lloyd: I love it...
[Shot of Teal'c looking pleased]
Martin Lloyd: ...I'm just not sure the studio will...uh...
[Shot of Teal'c looking vaguely threatening, leaning toward Martin]
Martin Lloyd: Whoops, there's my phone... [he puts his phone to his ear] ...go for Marty... [he scurries off]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill and Jackson are waiting at an altar, O'Neill as the groom and Jackson as the best man]
Dr. Jackson: You know, if she doesn't show, people are going to think that…you and I are…
Gen. O'Neill: What?
[A possible reference to slashshippers.]
Dr. Jackson: You know, if she doesn't show, people are going to think that…you and I are…
Gen. O'Neill: What?
[A possible reference to slashshippers.]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1