NCIS Quotes
Tony: She sleeps with a gun under her pillow, boss.
Gibbs: That true?
Kate: Maybe... sometimes... yes.
Gibbs: Good girl!
Gibbs: That true?
Kate: Maybe... sometimes... yes.
Gibbs: Good girl!
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: You were a boy scout?
Tony: Cub.
Kate: Ha. What'd they kick you out for?
Tony: Tryin' to score brownie points.
Tony: Cub.
Kate: Ha. What'd they kick you out for?
Tony: Tryin' to score brownie points.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: [has his SIG-Sauer pointed at the head of Amanda Reed] His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: Speaking of way beyond hinky...
Tony: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Kate: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Tony: [deep breath] I can't take it.
Tony: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Kate: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Tony: [deep breath] I can't take it.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Remember the good ol' days, Kate?
Kate: What good old days?
Tony: When Gibbs would confide in us and treat us like peers.
Kate: (incredulously) No.
Tony: Good. I thought it was just me.
Kate: What good old days?
Tony: When Gibbs would confide in us and treat us like peers.
Kate: (incredulously) No.
Tony: Good. I thought it was just me.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: Do we know how big his unit was?
Abby: We could ask him, but in my experience most men lie about that point.
Abby: We could ask him, but in my experience most men lie about that point.
TV Show: NCIS
[Indistinct yelling.]
Kate: Thank god Tony is still alive.
[Gibbs gives her a questioning look.]
Kate: Who else you know who pisses people off like that?
Kate: Thank god Tony is still alive.
[Gibbs gives her a questioning look.]
Kate: Who else you know who pisses people off like that?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: You weren't seriously going to let her shoot me, were you?
Gibbs: Nah.
Tony: You had a plan, right?
Gibbs: [unconvincingly] Yeah.
Gibbs: Nah.
Tony: You had a plan, right?
Gibbs: [unconvincingly] Yeah.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: [describing the watch he is putting on] It's a locator. I won't activate it unless they move us.
Tony: [in a Sean Connery accent] Very James Bond - does it tell time, too?
Tony: [in a Sean Connery accent] Very James Bond - does it tell time, too?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: I really liked her.
Kate: ATF agent involved in illegal weapons and murder - what's not to like?
Tony: So quick to judge, Kate. Sure she has flaws, sure she's going to prison, but my instincts tell me she had good qualities as well.
Kate: Two of them wouldn't happen to live under her shirt, would they?
Kate: ATF agent involved in illegal weapons and murder - what's not to like?
Tony: So quick to judge, Kate. Sure she has flaws, sure she's going to prison, but my instincts tell me she had good qualities as well.
Kate: Two of them wouldn't happen to live under her shirt, would they?
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: What if I wanted to get into that account?
Kate: (shrugs) Get a search warrant for the servers.
Gibbs: We don't have time for a warrant. What's a quicker way?
Kate: Hack into the servers.
[Gibbs tilts a brow and smiles.]
Kate: Can't believe I just said that. I would have never suggested that before I started working here.
Gibbs: You're welcome.
Kate: (shrugs) Get a search warrant for the servers.
Gibbs: We don't have time for a warrant. What's a quicker way?
Kate: Hack into the servers.
[Gibbs tilts a brow and smiles.]
Kate: Can't believe I just said that. I would have never suggested that before I started working here.
Gibbs: You're welcome.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: He stay at your place?
Abby: Yup.
Gibbs: You sleep in the coffin, McGee?
McGee: Coffin? You said that it was a box sofa bed.
Abby: Well... it is! Sort of...
McGee: That's why you wouldn't turn the lights on. I can't believe I just slept in a coffin.
Abby: ...Not just slept.
Abby: Yup.
Gibbs: You sleep in the coffin, McGee?
McGee: Coffin? You said that it was a box sofa bed.
Abby: Well... it is! Sort of...
McGee: That's why you wouldn't turn the lights on. I can't believe I just slept in a coffin.
Abby: ...Not just slept.
TV Show: NCIS
John: John, Ag Department.
Kate: Kate, NCIS.
John: Hi... really?
Kate: Yes. Why?
John: I've never seen you and I'm at NCIS twice a month.
Kate: You are?
John: Yes, I specialize in hail and storm damage.
Kate: What NCIS do you think I'm with?
John: National Crop Insurance Service.
Gibbs: That's us, she's a wiz on how corn losses affect pork belly futures.
Kate: That's my boss - weird sense of humor. [later, to Gibbs] "How corn losses affect pork belly futures?"
Gibbs: Rule number seven: always be specific when you lie.
Kate: Kate, NCIS.
John: Hi... really?
Kate: Yes. Why?
John: I've never seen you and I'm at NCIS twice a month.
Kate: You are?
John: Yes, I specialize in hail and storm damage.
Kate: What NCIS do you think I'm with?
John: National Crop Insurance Service.
Gibbs: That's us, she's a wiz on how corn losses affect pork belly futures.
Kate: That's my boss - weird sense of humor. [later, to Gibbs] "How corn losses affect pork belly futures?"
Gibbs: Rule number seven: always be specific when you lie.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: McGee said you wanted to see me. Actually, he said I was under house arrest, but I figured that was just your way of making a point.
Gibbs: Do I have to tell you the name of the creek you're up without a paddle? Or how deep it is?
Tony: Up to my knees?
Gibbs: I see you're familiar with this particular creek.
DiNozzo: I'm sorry I took a long lunch, Boss, but I'm not working a hot case.
Gibbs: What's a hot case to you, DiNozzo? Shadowing a tight ass?
DiNozzo: That's not fair, Boss.
Gibbs: War is not fair! And we are at war. Until I dismiss you, which could be any moment now, you will fight that war 24/7. That includes eating, sleeping, taking a crap. Got that?
DiNozzo: Yes, Boss. Can I say something?
Gibbs: Only if it has something to do with that bastard I'm after!
DiNozzo: It does.
Gibbs: Then speak!
DiNozzo: Boss... You've really gotta see Moby Dick.
Gibbs: Do I have to tell you the name of the creek you're up without a paddle? Or how deep it is?
Tony: Up to my knees?
Gibbs: I see you're familiar with this particular creek.
DiNozzo: I'm sorry I took a long lunch, Boss, but I'm not working a hot case.
Gibbs: What's a hot case to you, DiNozzo? Shadowing a tight ass?
DiNozzo: That's not fair, Boss.
Gibbs: War is not fair! And we are at war. Until I dismiss you, which could be any moment now, you will fight that war 24/7. That includes eating, sleeping, taking a crap. Got that?
DiNozzo: Yes, Boss. Can I say something?
Gibbs: Only if it has something to do with that bastard I'm after!
DiNozzo: It does.
Gibbs: Then speak!
DiNozzo: Boss... You've really gotta see Moby Dick.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Well, what's wrong, other than the Hamas guy?
Gibbs: The Hamas guy! You know: the terrorist, the bastard, the ass! We call him everything but his name. You know why that is?
Tony: Because we don't know his name?
Gibbs: Because you're not working a hot case. I want his name! I want it today! And don't tell me it's Moby Dick!
Gibbs: The Hamas guy! You know: the terrorist, the bastard, the ass! We call him everything but his name. You know why that is?
Tony: Because we don't know his name?
Gibbs: Because you're not working a hot case. I want his name! I want it today! And don't tell me it's Moby Dick!
TV Show: NCIS
Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [regarding the terrorist who shot Gerald and Gibbs] Why did he give you a shot at him?
Gibbs: He needs to face death to feel alive. Maybe, to feel anything.
Gibbs: He needs to face death to feel alive. Maybe, to feel anything.
TV Show: NCIS
FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Directors want your word that you'll forget about Ari. They think you'll blow his cover.
Gibbs: If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?
FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: He refused to.
Gibbs: [finally laughs] Yeah.
Gibbs: If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?
FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: He refused to.
Gibbs: [finally laughs] Yeah.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Anyone, and I mean anyone, know when the air conditioner is getting fixed? What about the name of the genius who invented windows that don't open? Like, what are we on - a space ship? Windows should open!
TV Show: NCIS
[McGee has been working on the NCIS computer network by himself, despite having no orders to do so.]
Gibbs: You have any idea where thinking like this is going to lead you?
Tony: Yeah, do you, McGee?
Gibbs: Promotion. You need any help, you ask Tony. It looks like he could use a workout.
[After Gibbs, and an irritated Tony leave]
Kate: Don't let him intimidate you, McGee, that's my job today.
Gibbs: You have any idea where thinking like this is going to lead you?
Tony: Yeah, do you, McGee?
Gibbs: Promotion. You need any help, you ask Tony. It looks like he could use a workout.
[After Gibbs, and an irritated Tony leave]
Kate: Don't let him intimidate you, McGee, that's my job today.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: [smashing cell phone on desk] God, I hate this thing! It's crap!
Kate: There's a secretary from the Pentagon downstairs and she claims her boss is being held hostage by his computer.
Gibbs: See? [holds up smashed phone] There's a reason I didn't trust these things. [tosses it to McGee] Here, reboot that or something. [to Kate] Send her up.
McGee: Reboot it?
Kate: Or you can do what we always do.
[Tony pulls a box out of a filing cabinet drawer filled with new, unopened phones and hands it to McGee]
Tony: It's his third one this month.
[Later on]
Abby: [as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
McGee: System's over-heated.
Gibbs: So reboot it.
Abby: Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
Gibbs: [brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
Kate: There's a secretary from the Pentagon downstairs and she claims her boss is being held hostage by his computer.
Gibbs: See? [holds up smashed phone] There's a reason I didn't trust these things. [tosses it to McGee] Here, reboot that or something. [to Kate] Send her up.
McGee: Reboot it?
Kate: Or you can do what we always do.
[Tony pulls a box out of a filing cabinet drawer filled with new, unopened phones and hands it to McGee]
Tony: It's his third one this month.
[Later on]
Abby: [as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
McGee: System's over-heated.
Gibbs: So reboot it.
Abby: Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
Gibbs: [brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: McGee, can't you tell when someone's kidding with you?
McGee: I used to and then I met you guys.
McGee: I used to and then I met you guys.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Delivery complete.
Gibbs: That's good work, Tony.
Tony: Thanks, Boss. That means a lot.
Gibbs: If NCIS doesn't work out I hear General Wee's Chinese Restaurant is hiring.
Gibbs: That's good work, Tony.
Tony: Thanks, Boss. That means a lot.
Gibbs: If NCIS doesn't work out I hear General Wee's Chinese Restaurant is hiring.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: Face it, McGee. We are doomed.
McGee: Gibbs can't really expect us to hack into the Pentagon in a single afternoon!
Abby: Yeah, he can.
McGee: You're right, we are doomed.
McGee: Gibbs can't really expect us to hack into the Pentagon in a single afternoon!
Abby: Yeah, he can.
McGee: You're right, we are doomed.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: McGee, where are you going?
McGee: Uh, Norfolk.
Gibbs: Well, I got some good news, and some bad news for you. You've just been promoted. [holds up envelope with McGee's promotion] To a full-time field agent.
McGee: Really? That's incredible! What's-
Gibbs: You belong to me now.
[After he leaves]
Kate: Congratulations!
Tony: Yeah, what she said.
McGee: So, I-I'm one of you guys now, right? No more hazing?
Kate and Tony: Sure.
McGee: Well, I-I just want to say that I never took it personal and I--
[Kate and Tony both head-slap McGee]
Tony: You know I could really get used to that.
McGee: Uh, Norfolk.
Gibbs: Well, I got some good news, and some bad news for you. You've just been promoted. [holds up envelope with McGee's promotion] To a full-time field agent.
McGee: Really? That's incredible! What's-
Gibbs: You belong to me now.
[After he leaves]
Kate: Congratulations!
Tony: Yeah, what she said.
McGee: So, I-I'm one of you guys now, right? No more hazing?
Kate and Tony: Sure.
McGee: Well, I-I just want to say that I never took it personal and I--
[Kate and Tony both head-slap McGee]
Tony: You know I could really get used to that.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Let me guess, you never inhaled.
McGee: I inhaled.
Tony: Yeah?
McGee: Once. A little bit.
Tony: How was it?
McGee: Didn't like it.
Kate: You didn't like it?
McGee: No...
Tony and Kate: He didn't inhale.
McGee: I inhaled.
Tony: Yeah?
McGee: Once. A little bit.
Tony: How was it?
McGee: Didn't like it.
Kate: You didn't like it?
McGee: No...
Tony and Kate: He didn't inhale.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Put someone in a wedding dress
Kate: Tony would look cute.
Gibbs: No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Kate: Well, McGee then.
Gibbs: No, he's with Tony.
Kate: Abby.
Gibbs: No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Kate: Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
Kate: Tony would look cute.
Gibbs: No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Kate: Well, McGee then.
Gibbs: No, he's with Tony.
Kate: Abby.
Gibbs: No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Kate: Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
TV Show: NCIS
[Watching Gibbs conduct an interrogation]
Tony: I think Gibbs enjoys this more than sex.
Kate: That would explain the three wives.
Tony: I think Gibbs enjoys this more than sex.
Kate: That would explain the three wives.
TV Show: NCIS
(Tony shows the Bartender a picture of the DB.)
Bartender: Such a sweet countenance.
Tony: Sweet countenance?
Bartender: Yeah, that radiant look on her face.
Tony: She doesn't look radiant, she's dead.
Bartender: In that picture?
Tony: Yeah, she's dead.
Bartender: She's dead?
Tony: She's dead. Why do ya think her eyes are closed.
Bartender: I thought she was meditating.
Bartender: Such a sweet countenance.
Tony: Sweet countenance?
Bartender: Yeah, that radiant look on her face.
Tony: She doesn't look radiant, she's dead.
Bartender: In that picture?
Tony: Yeah, she's dead.
Bartender: She's dead?
Tony: She's dead. Why do ya think her eyes are closed.
Bartender: I thought she was meditating.
TV Show: NCIS