Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

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Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

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Kip: [Napoleon has Kip in a sleeper-hold] Ow! Ah geez!
Napoleon Dynamite: What the crap was Uncle Rico doin' at my girlfriend's house?
Kip: Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruisin' my neck meat!
Napoleon Dynamite: Fine! [Napoleon releases Kip]
Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you guys doin'? Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a freakin' idiot?
Kip: I'm out makin' some sweet moola with Uncle Rico. Geez, I think you ripped my mole off.
Napoleon Dynamite: I did?
Kip: Yeah, is it bleeding?
Napoleon Dynamite: A little bit.

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Don: Vote for Summer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.
Don: Then who you gonna vote for?
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm voting for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think? [Don scoffs and walks away]
Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons? [Don hands Napoleon a Vote 4 Summer button]
Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon tosses it across the hall, stares at Don, and runs away]

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Trisha: Hi, is Napoleon there?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes.
Trisha: Can I talk to him?
Napoleon Dynamite: You already are.

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