My Boys Quotes
Stephanie: We weren't in the same boat! I played with your boat in my boat's bathtub!
TV Show: My Boys
Stephanie: I guess I thought debt counselling would be more like Driver's Ed. You know? Where you ignore the film strips that they show and sleep through a couple of lectures and be on your way.
PJ: That just cleared up so much about your driving.
PJ: That just cleared up so much about your driving.
TV Show: My Boys
Bobby: Dude, ideas are good. Light bulbs? Liberty? Beer? These things all started as ideas.
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Thorn: And coming here having to tell you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I've survived helicopter crashes, being shot, an international flight seated next to Ann Coulter.
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: It was so weird, all she wanted to do today was "spa" and "club".
Andy: I like your verbs that are things. I think I'm gonna sandwich after I sofa here for a bit.
Andy: I like your verbs that are things. I think I'm gonna sandwich after I sofa here for a bit.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny: Dear Brendan, Ever since you got named in that sexy Chicago thing you've been kind of douchey. When you tried to get me to buy the new Fergie album it made me feel so lonely. I want you to get better. PS. I don't understand your girl jeans.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: Brendan. You screened my call, douchebag. You're a really big douche. If you were a superhero you'd be Captain Douchebag. Your superpowers would be screening calls and the ability to wreck any hang. Douche. And then I drew a picture of you as Captain Douchebag.
PJ: Who is he fighting?
Mike: That's a giant lizard.
PJ: Who is he fighting?
Mike: That's a giant lizard.
TV Show: My Boys
Andy Franklin: [having to leave the poker game early] I have to go. Meredith wants me to help her shellac a jigsaw puzzle. Unfortunately, that's not a euphemism.
TV Show: My Boys
Andy Franklin: [pulls up as a tour guide in a double-decker bus] Ladies and gentlemen, you've been such a wonderful crowd. I'd like to do a little tune for you now. It's one of my personal favorites. And I'd like to dedicate it to a man who thinks he hasn't seen anything good today. Brendan Dorff, this one's for you...
Brendan Dorff: Wait, wait! I saw lots of good things today! Mike got into art, Kenny broke out of his slump, 3 guys want to take P.J. to Italy...
Andy Franklin: Shut up, I'm singing, anyway. [singing]
Andy Franklin: Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen...
TV Show: My Boys
Bobby Newman: You're putting me at the bottom of the order over a pen?
P.J. Franklin: No, I'm putting you at the bottom of the order because you might suck.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike Callahan: [Kenny is constantly updating his Facebook status] Kenny, I didn't need a status update before you went to the bathroom, and I certainly don't need one telling me how it went.
Kenny Morittori: My life is an open book.
Brendan Dorff: Close it.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike Callahan: [P.J. is mad because the guys think she got promoted based on her looks] P.J., you're hot and you know sports. It's a novelty.
Brendan Dorff: Hot chicks make everything better. Hot chicks and football - -cheerleaders.
Mike Callahan: Hot chicks and politics - Sarah Palin.
Kenny Morittori: You still think she's hot?
Mike Callahan: Dude, it's the glasses. I have a thing for smart chicks.
Kenny Morittori: You still think she's smart?
TV Show: My Boys
Mike Callahan: [visiting the Art Institute] Of all the places I want to visit, the Art Institute ranks somewhere between ballet and arena football.
P.J. Franklin: Hot women hang out at the Art Institute...
Mike Callahan: And the Art Institute is moving up!
TV Show: My Boys
P.J. Franklin: [admitting she slept with Bobby] We both agreed it was a stupid mistake. It just happened. I mean, I don't know why.
Stephanie: Good God, I have to tell you why you do everything.
P.J. Franklin: *Finally* you understand me!
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P.J. Franklin: [Andy is moving to the suburbs] We'll never see you again!
Andy Franklin: Then remember me how I am now... young and perky.
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P.J. Franklin: [at a bridal shower] We have to go. They're applauding a pan.
Stephanie: [excitedly] With a copper core!
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P.J. Franklin: [one of the Cubs is attracted to P.J] I cannot date him. He is a Cub! That is breaking, like, a ton of unwritten journalism rules.
Mike Callahan: Unwritten rules were meant to be... written.
Kenny Morittori: ...then broken.
Mike Callahan: Written, then broken. Thanks, Kenny. I got a little lost there.
TV Show: My Boys
P.J. Franklin: Lyssa is a completely different person now. All she wanted to do today is spa and club.
Andy Franklin: I like your verbs that are things. I think I'm gonna sandwich after I sofa for a bit.
TV Show: My Boys
P.J. Franklin: What kind of relationship do you have if you can't come clean with the person you're with?
Stephanie: A relationship that will last.
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Brendan Dorff: [having followed an attractive but crazy woman to Tulsa] That woman is in-SANE! We partied in a quarry. We had sex in a nursing home. I got pushed in a river, we broke into a zoo! I had to take a bus home because somehow she got me on the no-fly list!
Bobby Newman: Tulsa has a river?
TV Show: My Boys
Stephanie: [about P.J. dating Bobby's brother] Listen, you have to run it by Bobby. Brothers tend not to like this kind of thing. Unless they do... and that's weird.
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Stephanie: [about P.J.'s date] My God, I just want to break him in two and suck out the middle!
P.J. Franklin: C'mon, Stephanie, put it back in your pants.
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Kenny Morittori: [about Bobby's ex-girlfriend] She'd be a fool not to want you. You're looking good these days. And I'm saying that as a man AND a friend.
Andy Franklin: And a weirdo.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny Morittori: [discussing Brendan's changed attitude] Ever since he got that "Chicago's Sexiest Bachelor" thing, he's been shortening his words. "Waffs" and "Vods."
Bobby Newman: Yeah. It's... annoy.
TV Show: My Boys