Kitchen Confidential Quotes

Jack Bourdain: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish. One might say that you... you put the ho in hostess.
Tanya: Why, thank you!

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential
Jack Bourdain: So... It's official. We're at war.
Jim: We're at war? What do you mean we're at war? We're chefs!
Jack Bourdain: They attacked us. Twice!
Steven Daedelus: They poked our head waitress
Jim: Yeah, but didn't she enjoy it?
Teddy Wong: That is not the point! If he's willing to have sex with Mimi, there's no telling how low he will go!
Seth Richman: We sent Mimi on a diplomatic mission and he sent her back soiled and defiled
Jim: and satisfied...
Jack Bourdain: Jim, go to your idiot hole.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential
Jim: Jack!
Jack Bourdain: Yeah?
Jim: I think there's something wrong with the computer here.
Jack Bourdain: Really?
Jim: Yeah, I got orders for, uh, ten toilet burgers, a monkey nipple salad, two fart cakes - I'm sorry, three fart cakes - and a fish penis and moose rectum lasagna with super butt cheese. And pineapple salsa.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential
Steven Daedelus: Look at this veal! This veal is gorgeous! If I were another veal, I'd be making love to this veal!
Jack Bourdain: Tell me you didn't put the veal down your pants.
Steven Daedelus: So what if I did?

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Steven Daedelus: [whispered at pretty girl in a bar] Please shag our friend.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Steven Daedelus: Look at this veal! This veal is gorgeous! If I were another veal, I'd be making love to this veal!
Jack Bourdain: Tell me you didn't put the veal down your pants.
Steven Daedelus: So what if I did?

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Tyrone: He's leaving? Who's going to cover his shift?
Suze: Paco.
Paco: Fuego! Fuego! Fuego!
Tyrone: Paco keeps bursting into flames!

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Jack Bourdain: Jim, go to your idiot hole.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Jack Bourdain: Okay everybody, listen up! I am Jack Bourdain, I'm your new head chef, and this is Greg! Greg, this handsome devil, is a Patagonian toothfish, commonly known as a sea bass. And when combined with garlic and shallots, will become our delicious fish special for this evening.
Tanya: Hello, Greg.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Jack Bourdain: Recipe for failure: take one part natural talent, two parts stellar education, mix with easy success and a generous helping of booze, drugs, and women, and immediately set on fire.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Jack Bourdain: So... It's official. We're at war.
Jim: We're at war? What do you mean we're at war? We're chefs!
Jack Bourdain: They attacked us. Twice!
Steven Daedelus: They poked our head waitress
Jim: Yeah, but didn't she enjoy it?
Teddy Wong: That is not the point! If he's willing to have sex with Mimi, there's no telling how low he will go!
Seth Richman: We sent Mimi on a diplomatic mission and he sent her back soiled and defiled
Jim: and satisfied...
Jack Bourdain: Jim, go to your idiot hole.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Jack Bourdain: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish. One might say that you... you put the "ho" in "hostess."
Tanya: Why, thank you!

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential

Steven Daedelus: "Jiminy?" Should I haze him to the point of tears or beyond?
Jack Bourdain: Surprise me.

TV Show: Kitchen Confidential