Gin Tama Quotes
Gintoki: [to Kondo] You're so naive. Soooo naive...to think that an enemy would give you his weapon. I fixed it earlier so that it'd break if you so much as swung it around.
TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: It would be stupid for anyone to lose anything over a matter like this. This was the best way to settle it painlessly.
Kondo: [on the ground, beaten up] This is painless?
Kondo: [on the ground, beaten up] This is painless?
TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: All right then. Let's go you guys...
Kagura: [strangling Gintoki from behind] I misjudged you! I thought you were an honorable samurai!
Shinpachi: [kicking Gintoki] Are you proud of yourself, you damn dirty cheat?!
Gintoki: Come on, I protected your sister. Don't be like..
Kagura: I'm going home. Don't ever show your face to me again!
Shinpachi: I'm taking a leave of absence!
Otae: Painless, eh? Well, it looks like Gin-san's the one in the most pain, in the end...
Gintoki: This is really the worst pain ever...
Kagura: [strangling Gintoki from behind] I misjudged you! I thought you were an honorable samurai!
Shinpachi: [kicking Gintoki] Are you proud of yourself, you damn dirty cheat?!
Gintoki: Come on, I protected your sister. Don't be like..
Kagura: I'm going home. Don't ever show your face to me again!
Shinpachi: I'm taking a leave of absence!
Otae: Painless, eh? Well, it looks like Gin-san's the one in the most pain, in the end...
Gintoki: This is really the worst pain ever...
TV Show: Gin Tama
Narrator: Shinsengumi Vice-Commander Hijikata Toushirou. Even after his shift, he walks the city, protecting it alone. What could he be looking at now?
Hijikata: What's all the fuss here?
Guy: Well, I guess these guys here had a duel over a woman.
Hijikata: Dueling over a woman? How dumb. What kinda idiot..eh? Commander Kondo?
Cameraman: Commander Kondo? Him? That's the commander of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isao-san?
Hijikata: What the heck are you looking at, dumbasses?
Narrator: And so, through the bravery of the Shinsengumi, Edo's peace is once again protected. [pause] Really??
Hijikata: What's all the fuss here?
Guy: Well, I guess these guys here had a duel over a woman.
Hijikata: Dueling over a woman? How dumb. What kinda idiot..eh? Commander Kondo?
Cameraman: Commander Kondo? Him? That's the commander of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isao-san?
Hijikata: What the heck are you looking at, dumbasses?
Narrator: And so, through the bravery of the Shinsengumi, Edo's peace is once again protected. [pause] Really??
TV Show: Gin Tama
[After the credits and preview]
Class: Third year, class Z, Ginpachi sensei!
Gintoki: All right, take out your textbooks. Today, Shimura's [Otae] recorder was stolen. The culprit may be in another class, but then it'd be hard to find, so I decided to look for it in this class. Whoever stole it, raise your hand. It's fine if it's a lie. If you admit it, I'll let you off with just playing one line of 'Give me Wings' on it.
Hijikata: Sensei! If we do that, we'll be ruined musically for the rest of our lives! Please, if you must have us play, make it be the famous fight song 'Bring it On.'
Gintoki: All right then, play the fight son 'Bring it On.'
Hasegawa: Hey, sensei, I don't get it...wait, that's not even a song.
Gintoki: All right, fine. I'll play it. Someone lend me their recorder.
Class: Third year, class Z, Ginpachi sensei!
Gintoki: All right, take out your textbooks. Today, Shimura's [Otae] recorder was stolen. The culprit may be in another class, but then it'd be hard to find, so I decided to look for it in this class. Whoever stole it, raise your hand. It's fine if it's a lie. If you admit it, I'll let you off with just playing one line of 'Give me Wings' on it.
Hijikata: Sensei! If we do that, we'll be ruined musically for the rest of our lives! Please, if you must have us play, make it be the famous fight song 'Bring it On.'
Gintoki: All right then, play the fight son 'Bring it On.'
Hasegawa: Hey, sensei, I don't get it...wait, that's not even a song.
Gintoki: All right, fine. I'll play it. Someone lend me their recorder.
TV Show: Gin Tama
Kagura: Sensei, take mine. It's broken and doesn't really play, though...[blows air into her food which looks somewhat like a recorder]
Gintoki It's your brain that's broken! Come on, I don't care whose..I just need someone's whistle. A girl's, if possible.
Student: No way! Your cigarette smell will spread.
Gintoki: I've told you, this isn't a cigarette. It's a lollipop!
Student: Lollipops don't smoke.
Gintoki: I'm telling you, it's just that it's soooooo lolilolilolied that it smokes. [pulls the lollipop out of his mouth] Come on, girls. One of you loan me your whistle. I'll lolly it up.
Girls: NO WAY!
Gintoki It's your brain that's broken! Come on, I don't care whose..I just need someone's whistle. A girl's, if possible.
Student: No way! Your cigarette smell will spread.
Gintoki: I've told you, this isn't a cigarette. It's a lollipop!
Student: Lollipops don't smoke.
Gintoki: I'm telling you, it's just that it's soooooo lolilolilolied that it smokes. [pulls the lollipop out of his mouth] Come on, girls. One of you loan me your whistle. I'll lolly it up.
Girls: NO WAY!
TV Show: Gin Tama
Kondo: Cut it out, girls! Our teacher is trying his best to find out who did this! Sensei, use mine! Even if you get your spit on it, I have two!
Gintoki: [slightly menacing] Why do you have two of them...
[Otae giggles. Cut to outside the classroom]
Kondo: Wait, please. Just a minu...Ahhhh! It's so out of tuuuuune!
Shinpachi: [over Gintoki playing Kondo's recorder] Sensei, may I go to the nurse's office?
Gintoki: [slightly menacing] Why do you have two of them...
[Otae giggles. Cut to outside the classroom]
Kondo: Wait, please. Just a minu...Ahhhh! It's so out of tuuuuune!
Shinpachi: [over Gintoki playing Kondo's recorder] Sensei, may I go to the nurse's office?
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Talking about Kondo and Gintoki’s duel in episode 8]
Shinsengumi member: Is it true that he challenged the other guy to a duel and lost due to an underhanded trick?
Shinsengumi member: He’s always getting dumped, but I never thought he’d lose a fight…
Shinsengumi member: Is it true that he challenged the other guy to a duel and lost due to an underhanded trick?
Shinsengumi member: He’s always getting dumped, but I never thought he’d lose a fight…
TV Show: Gin Tama
Hijikata: There’s no way Kondo-san lost. Who’s been spreading that ridiculous rumor?
Shinsengumi member: Captain Okita! He broadcast it over the loudspeaker.
Okita: I heard it from Hijikata-san.
Hijikata: I suppose I shouldn’t have told him…
Shinsengumi member: Captain Okita! He broadcast it over the loudspeaker.
Okita: I heard it from Hijikata-san.
Hijikata: I suppose I shouldn’t have told him…
TV Show: Gin Tama
Hijikata: Doubting your commander’s word is a crime punishable by death at my hands. Yamazaki, you’re first.
Yamazaki: But I didn’t say anything!
Hijikata: But you’re talking now, aren’t you, you sanctimonious troglodyte!
Yamazaki: But I didn’t say anything!
Hijikata: But you’re talking now, aren’t you, you sanctimonious troglodyte!
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Kondo: [with a bandage on his bloated face] All right, let’s put on our ‘work hard’ helmets and protect this city!
TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! You’re not here to challenge me, are you? That’s not just stupid, but arrogant too. I burp at your insolence. [burps]
Kagura: If you’re gonna do it, give it your all. Burp so hard that you may never be able to burp again! [burps]
Shinpachi: I’m not so soft as to be defeated by such a pitiful enemy. This contest isn’t about burping as much as the will to burp. [burps]
Client: Quit your burping and get on with it!
Kagura: If you’re gonna do it, give it your all. Burp so hard that you may never be able to burp again! [burps]
Shinpachi: I’m not so soft as to be defeated by such a pitiful enemy. This contest isn’t about burping as much as the will to burp. [burps]
Client: Quit your burping and get on with it!
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi are staring at each other]
Shinpachi: [voiceover] Hello everyone. I’m Shimura Shinpachi. The leaves have come in since we last met, haven’t they? By the way, there’s actually a long story behind our glaring at each other like this.
Kagura: [voiceover] All right, I’m next. Well everyone, the battle to decide the fate of the universe is finally underway! I don’t know the details, but it really comes as a surprise!
Gintoki: What the heck is this? I can hear what you’re thinking! Do you hope to get sympathy by feigning insanity?
Shinpachi: [voiceover] Leave me alone. This is a part of my plan.
Kagura: [voiceover] Feigning insanity? How rude. I’m not feigning anything!
Shinpachi: [voiceover] Hello everyone. I’m Shimura Shinpachi. The leaves have come in since we last met, haven’t they? By the way, there’s actually a long story behind our glaring at each other like this.
Kagura: [voiceover] All right, I’m next. Well everyone, the battle to decide the fate of the universe is finally underway! I don’t know the details, but it really comes as a surprise!
Gintoki: What the heck is this? I can hear what you’re thinking! Do you hope to get sympathy by feigning insanity?
Shinpachi: [voiceover] Leave me alone. This is a part of my plan.
Kagura: [voiceover] Feigning insanity? How rude. I’m not feigning anything!
TV Show: Gin Tama
[The client is introducing himself]
Zeamon: [voiceover] That man was the 63 year old virgo carpenter and kabuki circuit star: Ishida ‘Pierre’ Ginpachi Zeamon. He requested help with his carpentry…
On screen: This picture has been beautified 275% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
Zeamon: but his request concealed a fearsome trap! Yes! He needed one—only one—to help with his work!
On screen: We apologize, but this picture has been beautified 384% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
Zeamon: [voiceover] That man was the 63 year old virgo carpenter and kabuki circuit star: Ishida ‘Pierre’ Ginpachi Zeamon. He requested help with his carpentry…
On screen: This picture has been beautified 275% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
Zeamon: but his request concealed a fearsome trap! Yes! He needed one—only one—to help with his work!
On screen: We apologize, but this picture has been beautified 384% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
TV Show: Gin Tama
Zeamon: But then, following the man’s advice, they reached a compromise on how to settle their dispute.
On screen: Our further apologies: this footage is--cut--40,000,00,000,0012%--cut—
On screen: Enough of this already, you goddamn geezer!
On screen: Our further apologies: this footage is--cut--40,000,00,000,0012%--cut—
On screen: Enough of this already, you goddamn geezer!
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Kagura hits Gintoki, and he’s laying on the floor, unconscious]
Shinpachi: What are you doing, Kagura-chan? This is rock, paper, scissors! You don’t hit anyone!
Kagura: The first blow decides the match!
Shinpachi: But it’s rock, paper, scissors!
Gintoki: [getting up] Fine then. If you’re willing to go at it, then so am I! [draws his bokuto]
Shinpachi: I’m telling you, it’s rock, paper, scissors!!
Shinpachi: What are you doing, Kagura-chan? This is rock, paper, scissors! You don’t hit anyone!
Kagura: The first blow decides the match!
Shinpachi: But it’s rock, paper, scissors!
Gintoki: [getting up] Fine then. If you’re willing to go at it, then so am I! [draws his bokuto]
Shinpachi: I’m telling you, it’s rock, paper, scissors!!
TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Rock, paper, scissors!
[Only Shinpachi has put out rock.]
Shinpachi: [to Kagura] You’re doing shadow puppets? What the hell is that?
Kagura: Can’t you see? It’s a crab. A crab.
Gintoki: [has finger puppets] Well, this is better than last time…Your rock can’t stand up to my family here.
Shinpachi: What family is that?!
Gintoki: [moving the dad puppet] You should just admit defeat!
Shinpachi: Goddamn it, it’s rock, paper, scissors!
Kagura: You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard now.
Shinpachi: Why do I lose?
[Only Shinpachi has put out rock.]
Shinpachi: [to Kagura] You’re doing shadow puppets? What the hell is that?
Kagura: Can’t you see? It’s a crab. A crab.
Gintoki: [has finger puppets] Well, this is better than last time…Your rock can’t stand up to my family here.
Shinpachi: What family is that?!
Gintoki: [moving the dad puppet] You should just admit defeat!
Shinpachi: Goddamn it, it’s rock, paper, scissors!
Kagura: You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard now.
Shinpachi: Why do I lose?
TV Show: Gin Tama
Zeamon: All right, he wins.
Gintoki: [in English] Victory.
Shinpachi: Eeeeeh??
Kagura: See you, loser. Work hard, now.
Gintoki: That’s right, Shinpachi. The client is God. Do whatever he says…Hey, what’s going on?
Zeamon: What do you mean? The winner gets the privilege of working for me.
Gintoki: [feebly] Oh, that’s not right…
Gintoki: [in English] Victory.
Shinpachi: Eeeeeh??
Kagura: See you, loser. Work hard, now.
Gintoki: That’s right, Shinpachi. The client is God. Do whatever he says…Hey, what’s going on?
Zeamon: What do you mean? The winner gets the privilege of working for me.
Gintoki: [feebly] Oh, that’s not right…
TV Show: Gin Tama
Shinsengumi member 1: Come out, you shiny-headed…that’s that’s…
Shinsengumi member 2: A hairy samurai sybarite?!
Both Shinsengumi: That’s not the one we’re looking for!
Shinsengumi member 2: A hairy samurai sybarite?!
Both Shinsengumi: That’s not the one we’re looking for!
TV Show: Gin Tama
Shinsengumi member 1: Here he is! The silver headed samurai!
Shinsengumi member 2: That’s…that’s…
Shinsengumi member 1: A receding-hair samurai…
Shinsengumi member 2: That’s…that’s…
Shinsengumi member 1: A receding-hair samurai…
TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Come on, don’t you know that you have to treat your workers with respect?
Zeamon: Yeah, all right, I respect you. Now then, get to work.
Zeamon: Yeah, all right, I respect you. Now then, get to work.
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Talking about Gintoki]
Hijikata: I’ll take care of him before this gets any bigger.
Okita: If you do it yourself, there’ll be trouble. The government’s not supposed to assassinate people…
Hijikata: It’s not an assassination. I’m going to fight him fair and square.
Okita: But if you find a silver-headed samurai and bring him to HQ, I think the others will be satisfied. How about this guy? [picks an old guy] Come on, hold your wooden sword…
Hijikata: Hey old man, use that to knock some sense into him, would you?
Okita: Well, Hijikata-san, he might not look like much, but if you take his glasses off…see, he’s like Musashi! [famous swordsman]
Hijikata: Why does he get to look so cool?
Hijikata: I’ll take care of him before this gets any bigger.
Okita: If you do it yourself, there’ll be trouble. The government’s not supposed to assassinate people…
Hijikata: It’s not an assassination. I’m going to fight him fair and square.
Okita: But if you find a silver-headed samurai and bring him to HQ, I think the others will be satisfied. How about this guy? [picks an old guy] Come on, hold your wooden sword…
Hijikata: Hey old man, use that to knock some sense into him, would you?
Okita: Well, Hijikata-san, he might not look like much, but if you take his glasses off…see, he’s like Musashi! [famous swordsman]
Hijikata: Why does he get to look so cool?
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Raiding a house looking for the silver haired samurai]
Hijikata: Give it up!
Samurai: Did you want something?
Yamazaki: That’s…a strapped-for-cash samurai…
Hijikata: Give it up!
Samurai: Did you want something?
Yamazaki: That’s…a strapped-for-cash samurai…
TV Show: Gin Tama
Zeamon: You lump, you have to put your heart and soul into every swing!
Gintoki: Sure, I’ll put my heart and soul into bashing your head in, baldy!
Zeamon: What was that, ingrate? Get off your high horse, perm boy!
Gintoki: Sure, I’ll put my heart and soul into bashing your head in, baldy!
Zeamon: What was that, ingrate? Get off your high horse, perm boy!
TV Show: Gin Tama
Okita: Let’s go home. My show’s about to start.
Hijikata: When did they change the schedule? I thought the drama reruns started at 4…
Okita: Is that right? Well, the drama seems like it’ll end happily…
Hijikata: That’s what you think. [thinking] You’re all smiley and giggly. Your inner calm is disrupted.
Okita: Oh, really?
Hijikata: When did they change the schedule? I thought the drama reruns started at 4…
Okita: Is that right? Well, the drama seems like it’ll end happily…
Hijikata: That’s what you think. [thinking] You’re all smiley and giggly. Your inner calm is disrupted.
Okita: Oh, really?
TV Show: Gin Tama
Hijikata: It’s thanks to him [Kondo] that we Shinsengumi can walk the streets, heads held high. We chose to follow him. Isn’t that right, Sougou?
Okita: [to a tiny dog] Now go, Sadamaru no. 3! Your target is that guy’s ass!
Hijikata: Hey, are you even listening to me?!
Okita: [to a tiny dog] Now go, Sadamaru no. 3! Your target is that guy’s ass!
Hijikata: Hey, are you even listening to me?!
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Gintoki: Hey, watch out, man.
Hijikata: You could’ve killed me!
Gintoki: Well, I told you to look out…
Hijikata: You practically mumbled it!
Gintoki: Keep it down. I don’t need any more tension on this job, especially from the likes of you.
Hijikata: You could’ve killed me!
Gintoki: Well, I told you to look out…
Hijikata: You practically mumbled it!
Gintoki: Keep it down. I don’t need any more tension on this job, especially from the likes of you.
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Gintoki: [to Hijikata] Oh, could it be…Oogushi-kun? Oh my, you’ve really grown up. Oh, and do you still have that goldfish of yours?
TV Show: Gin Tama
[Gintoki goes back up on the roof]
Okita: He’s gone. What should we do, Oogushi-kun?
Hijikata: Who are you calling Oogushi-kun? I completely forgot about him in three short weeks…
Okita: Well, he’s a forgettable guy.
Okita: He’s gone. What should we do, Oogushi-kun?
Hijikata: Who are you calling Oogushi-kun? I completely forgot about him in three short weeks…
Okita: Well, he’s a forgettable guy.
TV Show: Gin Tama