Dexter Quotes

Masuka: Lead fucking investigator. Translation – everyone's bitch. I do have a life, you know.
Dexter: You do?

TV Show: Dexter
Masuka: The fucking Bay Habour Butcher is butchering up my own social life.
[Masuka leaves the room]
Dexter: Sorry.

TV Show: Dexter
[Dexter walks out the police station]
Doakes: Mini-van's that way.
Dexter: Field morgue's this way.
Doakes: I'll wait.
Dexter: You should take the night off, Sergeant.
Doakes: On pizza night? No way.

TV Show: Dexter
Doakes: What does that girlfriend of yours see in a freak show like you anyway?
Dexter: You'll have to ask her.
Doakes: Maybe I will.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Doakes thinks he knows my secrets. But he only needs to look at this – my body of work – to know the real me.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Are you hoping they'll talk to you?
Lundy: The one's with heads anyway. They always speak, eventually. Just gotta ask the right question.
Dexter: Which is?
Lundy: Why were they chosen?
Dexter: You looking for a pattern?
Lundy: One doesn't kill this many people in this careful, methodical way without a reason. Some … twisted set of principles.
Dexter: They would have to be twisted, wouldn't they?
Lundy: The worst killers in history are usually the one's who think the murders were somehow … just. Even deserved. Leaders have slaughtered whole populations for the same warped reason.
Dexter: But there's never any justification for killing.
Lundy: No. Well, one, of course. To save an innocent life.
Dexter: To save an innocent life.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: How many more bodies would there have been had I not got to those killers? I didn't want to save lives, but save lives I did. Motivation aside, I think Harry and Lundy would agree on this one.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Roger the Artful Dodger.
Roger: Jesus! You scared me, bro.
Dexter: We have some unfinished business.
Roger: Oh, yeah, right, the warranty and stuff. Listen, uh, I can't write you up right now, I've got the wife waiting for me.
Dexter: You're not married.
Roger: Ex-wife. I gotta take the kids.
Dexter: You don't have kids.
Roger: Step-kids. They're hers.
Dexter: Nope.
Roger: Okay, how about this one – I don't give a shit.
[Dexter starts choking Roger]
Dexter: Neither do I.

TV Show: Dexter
[Dexter throws Roger into the back of the mini-van]
Dexter: You were right about the ample cargo space.

TV Show: Dexter
Angel: Why did the killer cut 'em up like this?
Masuka: Easy disposal.
Debra: Or for fun. You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it because you like it.

TV Show: Dexter
Pascal: I'm gonna need you to run some tests on this shirt.
Dexter: Is there blood?
Pascal: No blood.
Dexter: I'm really the blood guy.
Pascal: It's a smell. It smells like a woman.
Dexter: Which part?
Pascal: Who can identify this for me?
[Dexter looks outside the window and sees Masuka]
Dexter: Yeah, that's really Masuka's area. He's definitely your man.
Pascal: Thanks.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Anything I can do to overburden Masuka is to my advantage. Trust me, I'm not above sending pizzas and hooker to his house in the middle of the night.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [thoughts] I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.
[Dexter sees Gail's old fashioned clothing]
Dexter: [thoughts] You have fibres and threads unknown to us. Your ancient customs intrigue me.
Gail: So, Dexter. Tell me everything there is to know about you.
Dexter: [thoughts] You have made me your sworn enemy, evil woman.

TV Show: Dexter
Gail: And I see a young man who is not eating.
Cody: I'm not hungry.
Astor: He's scared the Butcher's gonna get him.
Dexter: Remember, he only gets bad people.
Cody: I was bad today. I threw a ball at Tommy Albertez.
Dexter: Well, that's not too bad. And even if it was, the Bay Harbor Butcher doesn't hurt kids.
Cody: He doesn't?
Dexter: Nah. You're safe.
Rita: When are they gonna hurry up and catch this guy?
Dexter: They're working as hard as they can.
Gail: Well, if what I've heard is true, that he only goes after criminals, I say leave him alone. He's got my seal of approval.
Dexter: [thoughts] Perhaps I have misjudged you, oh wise one.

TV Show: Dexter
Roger: Where am I?
Dexter: Looks different under plastic, but you spent an evening here with Anne Cowen. You took her last breath from her right over there, you remember?
Roger: No. Y-you're wrong. I wouldn't!
Dexter: No, you would. And you did. And you were about to do it again; that's why we're here.
Roger: No, this is crazy. You got the wrong guy. I-I sell cars, for God's sake! I'd never hurt anyone in my life – definitely not a woman!
Dexter: … Why can't I do that?
Roger: Do what?
Dexter: Lie like that! I thought I was good, but you? It's … mwah.
Roger: I don't lie!
Dexter: Okay, that one was weak.
Roger: Kay, look. Pick any car on the lot. It's yours. T-bird, town car, you name it. Y-yours. Free. I'll call it in right now.
Dexter: Lots closed.
Roger: I'll have them open it up. I'm the manager. They do what I say.
Dexter: The manager's name is Rick Buxton!
Roger: Well, yeah, but I've been there longer than he has.
Dexter: You've been there three months!
Roger: At the other lot.
Dexter: Ha, ha! It's like watching someone ski moguls. You just hop from one lie to the next. No shame, no embarassment. You just don't give a shit. That's the key, right? Not to care about anyone or anything.
Roger: I care. I care a lot.
Dexter: No, it was a compliment. I don't care either.
Roger: Yes, you do. Like about your wife.
Dexter: Not married.
Roger: Girlfriend, then. Saw it the minute you walked on the lot.
Dexter: What did you see? Tell me.
Roger: Look, most guys your age, they'd beeline right for the horse power, or something. Flashy, sexy. But you. You're there all alone, no one there to nag you, and you don't eve

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am.
Everyone: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter: I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. Certainly don't talk about it. But it's there. Always. This … Dark Passenger. How when he's driving, I feel … alive. Half-sick with the thrill, complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even … especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because, lately, there are these moments that I feel connected to something else. Someone. It's like … the mask is slipping, and things, people, that never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

TV Show: Dexter
Doakes: I knew there was something wrong with you. The secrets, the sneaking around. Now it all makes sense. Lot of cops have been where you are. The booze, the drugs. Makes the job go down easier. Stay clean, and stay out of my way, and we won't have a problem.
[Doakes starts leaving]
Doakes: Oh, and you owe me a new Michelin, you motherfucker.

TV Show: Dexter
[Cody has had a nightmare]
Dexter: What was it, the big scary ghost or the alligator?
Cody: No. The Bay Harbor Butcher.
Rita: Oh, honey.
Dexter: He would never hurt you. But I'll let you in on a secret. My sister Debra, who is a secret police agent ninja warrior, said he only kills bad people. And you're not a bad person, are you?
Cody: No.
Dexter: Then you're quite safe.

TV Show: Dexter
Rita: [talking about the "Bay Harbor Butcher"] It makes me so angry that there's some monster out there scaring my son.
Dexter: [uncomfortable] I gotta go to work.
Rita: You know, I hope they catch him today. And I'm not a violent person, but I hope they'll hurt him. Have a good day. [kisses Dexter goodbye]
Dexter: [voiceover] Make up your mind.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] In our most paranoid moments, we fear that everyone is talking about us. That's become my reality.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] I refuse to believe that Vince Masuka is the man who single-handedly brings me down. I also know denial is the first stage of the grieving process for those who learn they're going to die.

TV Show: Dexter
[Dexter looks at several of Lila's art projects]
Dexter: Why are they eating each other?
Lila: Dunno. Ask them.

TV Show: Dexter
Lila: Do you like the heat?
Dexter: Um, not really. I'm partial to air conditioning.
Lila: Ah, I love it. Makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment.
Dexter: That's a pleasant thought.

TV Show: Dexter
Lila: So, if you're perfectly clean, why'd you call?
Dexter: I'm under a lot of … pressure. At work. I was hoping you could maybe give me some quick tips on how to deal with the urges.
Lila: [amused] There are no quick tips.
Dexter: Oh. I see.

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[Lila steals a wind chime]
Dexter: I thought we were gonna get art supplies.
Lila: That's what we're doing. I work with found art.
Dexter: More like stolen art.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Is that what a sponsor does on their first meeting?
Lila: I dunno. I've never sponsored anyone before.
Dexter: Really.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: You do realize that I work with the police department.
Lila: If we get caught, you can flash your badge.
Dexter: I don't have a badge – I have a laminate.

TV Show: Dexter
Lila: So, tell me. Why do you use?
Dexter: … Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am.
Lila: And who are you?
Dexter: I'm, uh … a bad person.
Lila: Haha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other.
Dexter: Doesn't really seem necessary.
Lila: The first step to recovery is getting to know who you are.
Dexter: I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem.
Lila: And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.

TV Show: Dexter
[Dexter answers the phone and hears about a case]
Dexter: I've gotta get back. Dead body.
Lila: Humph. How many times have you used that one before?

TV Show: Dexter
[Doakes looks at several weapons on the counter]
Doakes: Tell me that shit wasn't stolen from Saddam's palace!

TV Show: Dexter