Dexter Quotes

[Drinking coffee]
Quinn: Sugar is so much better than the artificial stuff, don't you think?
Dexter: I guess.
Quinn: Do you like milk or cream?
Dexter: Neither.
Quinn: Not exactly the chatty type, are you?
Dexter: No.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Rita's pregnant.
Debra: Say again?
Dexter: Rita's pregnant.
Debra: You're lying.
Dexter: I'm not lying.
Debra: A baby? A mother-fucking rolly-polly chubby-cheeked shit machine, are you kidding me?
Dexter: I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.

TV Show: Dexter
Sylvia Prado: Men are such babies. They need to be carried kicking and screaming into fatherhood.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [getting medically scanned, voiceover] It seems ironic that I, an expert on human dismemberment, have to pay 800 dollars to have myself virtually dissected.

TV Show: Dexter
[At yoga with Rita]
Yoga Instructor: We are all strong warriors, all of us.
Dexter: [voiceover] This is absolutely, without a doubt, the worst moment of my life.
Yoga Instructor: Now, let's go into a little free-form yoga. Just let yourself dance.
Dexter: [voiceover] I was wrong. This is.
Yoga Instructor: See the dust dancing against the sunlight. Be as beautiful as the golden flakes of dust, Dexter.
Dexter: [voiceover] I could probably kill her before anyone realized what happened.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] Masuka. He's chosen the role of court jester; now we only like him when he's making us laugh. Still, there's something to be said for being a character actor. The lead players, with all those emotions – must be exhausting.

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Vince Masuka: Hell must have froze over, because cops won't eat doughnuts anymore.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Studies show that emotional intelligence plays a greater role in individual success than anything that can be measured on the standard IQ test.
Debra: Are you calling me an emotional idiot?
Dexter: If you're an idiot, then I'm a vegetable.

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Dexter: [voiceover, about Ramon Prado] You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Unless you order his favorite and keep him waiting. And waiting.

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Dexter: [voiceover] But if you play a role long enough, really commit, does it become real? Could I become real?

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Harry Morgan: You're here. Rita's back home. You're cheating on her and you don't even realize it.
Dexter: I'll make time for my Dark Passenger and for Rita.
Harry Morgan: It's about priorities, Dexter. You're going to have to choose which one is your mistress and which one is your wife, and more importantly, which one comes first.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [to a bound Ethan Turner] Most of your shipmates are up on the blue deck. It's happy hour. Just the two of us.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] Here I am, paradox personified. Taking life, creating life.

TV Show: Dexter
Vince Masuka: Now you're dealing with science and science is one cold-hearted bitch with a fourteen inch strap-on.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: My dad used to say, "Be careful what you think you know about someone – you're probably wrong."

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Dexter: Why risk it all? Your career, reputation, freedom? You can just walk away.
Miguel: You didn't walk away from Ethan Turner, because you understand, Dexter, that we're living in, living in crucial times, crucial times that demand extraordinary measures.
Dexter: [voiceover] Miguel's convinced himself he wants this kill tonight for lofty and noble reasons. I'm not quite as high-minded.

TV Show: Dexter
Harry Morgan: We only see two things in people: what we want to see and what they want to show us.

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Harry Morgan: No matter how close two people are, an infinite distance separates them.

TV Show: Dexter
Harry Morgan: Never underestimate the capacity of other people to let you down.

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Angel: No way your nickname was worse than "Fatista." 'Cause Gianna just rolls off the –
Barbara Gianna: "Va"-gianna.
Angel: Okay, you win. Kids can be cruel.

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Dexter: [voiceover] Hand-holding. So simple, so intimate, so … uncomfortable.

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Ellen Wolf: We all know how easy it is to plant evidence, and let's be honest, you look the type.
Dexter: [voiceover] Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

TV Show: Dexter
Miguel: So, uh, Ellen Wolf, a piece of work, right?
Dexter: [thoughs] Go easy, be tactful. [speech] We can't kill her.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] I've never been great at conflict resolution. Not without a blade and several rolls of plastic wrap.

TV Show: Dexter
Debra: [after pulling an all-nighter] I found a fucking lead on The Skinner case. It's in the trees! Right, so, we've had our heads up our asses, Sarge. We've been looking down at the bodies, but no one has been looking up!
Angel: … How much caffeine have you had?
Debra: A metric fuck-ton.
Angel: Well you should stop, its giving you touretts.

TV Show: Dexter
Debra: So I go through every fucking photo of every fucking crime scene, and guess what I found.
Quinn: Trimmed trees?
Debra: No, I didn't find shit. But, when I looked at the homes of the victims, mother fucking trimmed trees!

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Dexter: I want you know that you were right about my brother. There's something else. I killed him.
Camilla: [last words] It's good you did.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] All the lives I've taken, they've always begged for mercy. I've never understood that concept, until now. This. This is mercy. But only for a friend.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] It's said that everything is connected to everything. The butterfly effect. You drop a pebble into a pond and the ripples radiate outward, affecting everything. Until finally a fish grows arms and legs and crawls out of the water, and picks up a rock and smashes the next two fish over the head, and we have the first serial killer.

TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Hey, you know anything about wedding bands?
Debra: Yeah, wedding rings and nuclear fission are my secret specialties.
Dexter: Thanks. [leaves]
Quinn: Your brother's kind of a dweeb, huh?
Debra: You say anything more about my brother and I will kick your fucking nuts down your throat.
Quinn: [laughs] That doesn't even make any sense.

TV Show: Dexter