Crossing Jordan Quotes

Garret: : I could ring your neck for taking a chance like that, thanks for saving my ass.
Jordan: : Couldn't let a sweet piece like this go to waste, could I!

TV Show: Crossing Jordan
Woody: : I should have never left Wisconsin.

TV Show: Crossing Jordan
Jordan: : Do me a favor Woody. Let me know when you stop being mad at me cause it's really starting to wear thin.
Woody: : I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad. It just seems you lost the ability to see anyone else's point of view.
Jordan: : I hate to break it to you, but I never had that ability.

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Jordan: : (to dead body) Well looks like you're the only one around here I can talk to.

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Garret: : You're in the deep end now, and you're gonna have to learn how to swim. (edit)

TV Show: Crossing Jordan
Nigel: Why am I always the killer pervert?
Woody: Is he?
Jordan: Well, he did play the Milwaukee Bondage Killer.
Macy: And before that he was the Ice Cream Rapist of '77.
Jordan, Macy: Killer perv.

TV Show: Crossing Jordan
Nigel: Woody, Woody, Woody… I promise that I will keep an open mind, okay? And anyway, "sensitivity" is my middle name.
[He opens the door.]
Nigel: SWEET MARY IN THE MANGER!

TV Show: Crossing Jordan
Danny: I made a statement. I told you I hit him, I didn't mean to hurt him, I was just trying to stop him. I was defending her.
Woody: See, normally I go with you don't know your own strength but I checked you out. Ex-special ops. Trained killer. Spooky.
Danny: I threw one punch.
Woody: Case in point.

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Garret: What's going on, Rene? You've been dodging me for months and all of a sudden you have to see me right now?
[She turns around, showing her very pregnant belly.]
Rene: I guess I should explain.
Garret: I'm pretty sure I understand the mechanics of it.
Rene: Yeah, I know you do.
Garret: So when were you gonna tell me?
Rene: It's not yours. My ex...
Garret: No, it's none of my business apparently.

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Nigel: Mumbo jumbo. I believe X, you believe Y, neither one of us has a shred of evidence to back it up, but we're willing to kill each other over it.

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[Jordan spots a suspicious bartender in a surveillance video from Lily's post-wedding rehearsal party.]
Jordan: Look, there's tons of people in that place. Why is he watching us?!
Bug: There were a lot of people watching you last night.
Nigel: Yeah. When you look like you look, people look.

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Garret: We all know Jordan didn't kill anybody, but we need to prove it quick before she gets herself in more trouble.
Nigel: Yeah, cause two murders and violating the terms of her bail isn't bad enough.

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Nigel: Dr.… didn't catch the name.
Dr. Switzer: I didn't throw it.

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Garret: Leave Dr. Switzer alone, she has a job to do.
Dr. Switzer: Thank you. I appreciate the support, Dr. Macy.
Garret: You don't have my support, You're here over my objections.
Dr. Switzer: Then I appreciate the candor.

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[Jordan and Garret are Outside Judge Gordon's office.]
Jordan: Ok, there's his office… and I'm sorry.
Garret: For what?
[Jordan punches him in the stomach.]
Jordan: Heart attack, go with it.

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[Bug and Nigel are sorting through the body parts of the woman hit on the highway.]
Nigel: All the kings' horses.
Bug: All the kings' men.
Woody: Nice guys, real nice. The woman's in a million pieces and you guys are quoting fairy tales.
Nigel: Actually, it's a nursery rhyme.

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Jordan: Swytzer?
Dr. Switzer: Switzer.
Jordan: Switzer, sorry. See, when you come to a new place it's good to make an effort to learn the culture.
Dr. Switzer: Excuse me?
Jordan: Pushy is not your best option here.
Dr. Switzer: Why because you've cornered the market?

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[Nigel confronts Kate, the brusque new medical examiner.]
Nigel: I don't know who you are, or how you did things in New York, but there's something you need to know. Around here we treat each other with respect. We work together. We look out for each other. We're family. So I don't know why you're here. Or what conspiracy you and Ivers got going on, but I'll tell you this. You keep harassing Miss Lebowski and I will make your life here a living hell.

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Kate: Since you didn't stick around after your drive-by hissy fit, here's something you should know. I'm here to do a job. Not to make friends. I have friends. I have family. Back at home where they belong. So aside from the fact that your mere existence makes my life a living hell, as you so charmingly put it, I'm really not concerned about you. You on the other hand… might want to be concerned about me.

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Jordan: Beating people to stop violence makes about as much sense as bombing for peace.
Lu: What would you suggest they do? Hold hands and sing "kum-ba-yah"?

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[Nigel examines a cupcake.]
Nigel: It's impressive, really. How malic acid, magnesium hydroxide and modified starches can together create a lifelike facsimile of actual food…

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[Kate shoves a looter back with the baseball bat.]
Kate: You are gonna be blood and guts on this floor, and then I'm gonna rip out your kidneys and I am gonna take them home and feed them to my dog, Binky. 'Cause there's nothing Binky loves more than the taste of human kidneys.

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Jordan: Woody, I don't know what's gonna happen up here. But, uh, there's something I have to say. Just so ya know, uh…(Jordan takes a deep breath)…I love you.
Woody: Jordan
Jordan: I'm not asking for anything here. I just, you know. Uh, I just don't want it left unsaid. Feels like my whole life I've been so focused on death. You know, my Mom, my job and uh…I think I've…I've just been afraid of really living, you know.
(Woody leans in and kisses Jordan)

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Macy: We should all sort out our personal demons before having children.
  • "Save Me", season 5

Season 5 Episode 17

TV Show: Crossing Jordan