Clerks Quotes

Elias: Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!
Randal Graves: No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One.
Elias: I don't really want to hear this Randal.
Randal Graves: The First of the Fallen. The Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions!
Elias: You know I don't like to talk about dark forces Randal.
Randal Graves: [singing into P.A. microphone] Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!
Jay: [climbing through the drive-thru window] Grandma what was it like? To be on a holiday sight?
Randal Graves: Late that night I awoke from my sleep.
Jay: Hearing! Unknown! Voices!
Randal Graves, Jay: Laughing insane!

Movie: Clerks
Elias: Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!
Randal Graves: No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One.

Movie: Clerks
Elias: That's bestiality, Randal!
Randal Graves: At it's finest, I hope.
Elias: Who would want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Dante, me, YOU.
Elias: I don't want to see something like that! Why would you want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Because it's ****ed up! Besides, I want to know if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows. Lemme borrow your cell phone.
Elias: [nervously] Oh... 'cause... I'm only supposed to use it to call my parents in case of an emergency...
Randal Graves: This is an emergency, I need to book the show for tonight. Jesus... Look, you love Mr. Dante, right?
Elias: In a non-gay way...

Movie: Clerks
Lance Dowds: Randal Graves. You work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?

Movie: Clerks
Leonardo Leonardo: Well played, Clerks.

Movie: Clerks
Randal Graves: I got to rent movies, **** with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.

Movie: Clerks