Black-Adder II Quotes

Blackadder: Baldrick, get the door. [there is a crash and Baldrick enters with the door]
Blackadder: Now, Baldrick, I advise you to make whatever explanation you are about to give exceptionally good.
Baldrick: You said get the door.
Blackadder: Not good enough, you're fired.
Baldrick: But, my Lord, I've been in your family since 1532.
Blackadder: So has syphilis. Now get out.

Movie: Black-Adder II
Blackadder: Who the hell are you sausage breath?
Mad Prince Ludwig: You do not remember me then Blackadder?
Blackadder: I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
Mad Prince Ludwig: Oh, on the contrary. We have met many times, although you knew me by another name. Do you recall a mysterious black marketer and smuggler called Otto with whom you used to dine and plot and place a biscuit game at an old pizzel in Dover.
Blackadder: My God!
Mad Prince Ludwig: Yes! I...was the waitress!
Blackadder: I don't believe it, you, Big Sally?
Mad Prince Ludwig: makes a voice like a girl Will you have another pizza pie my lord?
Blackadder: Wait I went to bed with you didn't I?
Mad Prince Ludwig: For my country, I am ready to make any sacrifice.
Blackadder: Yes, well I'm not. That must have been paralytic!

Movie: Black-Adder II
Blackadder: Well, as you know, Madame, I've had experience of this dreadful situation. Only last year my aunt came to me to beg for help in the ransom of my Uncle Ozrick.
Lord Melchett: Well, did you know something of the dreadful pain involved?
Blackadder: Indeed I do. Then I can suggest no better answer than the one I gave to her.
Queen Elizabeth I: Which was?
Blackadder: Get stuffed.

Movie: Black-Adder II
Lord Percy: Well, yes, My Lord, I mean, I hadn't meant to mention it but I have been wondering all along why you should think Baldrick with a bag on his head is going to be a dead ringer for Lord Farrow, because he's not!
Blackadder: Look, cretins, the bag is there in order to obscure Baldrick's own features, and many might think, incidentally, that that would be reason enough for him to wear it.

Movie: Black-Adder II
Lord Melchett: Gray, I suspect, your Majesty.
Queen Elizabeth I: I think you'll find they were orange, Lord Melchett.
Lord Melchett: Gray is more usual, Ma'am.
Queen Elizabeth I: Who's Queen?
Lord Melchett: As you say, Majesty. There were these magnificent orange elephants...

Movie: Black-Adder II
Prince Ludwig: I shall read it to you.
Blackadder: Ah, typical master criminal, loves the sound of his own voice.

Movie: Black-Adder II