Billy Madison Quotes

Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that's great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck]
Billy Madison: That's quacktastic.

Movie: Billy Madison
Brian Madison: Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: r-o-k?
Billy Madison: Yeah, so what's your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohhh yeh! The c is silent.

Movie: Billy Madison
Brian Madison: Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you are looking for?
Billy Madison: [the camera cuts to the street, where Billy and his friends find a piece of shit] Here's a nice piece of shit!

Movie: Billy Madison
Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.

Movie: Billy Madison
O'Doyle: Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis is the best video game ever.
Billy Madison: I disagree. Mortal Kombat is a good game but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
O'Doyle: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy Madison: You know something? You suck!

Movie: Billy Madison
Teacher: Spell couch.
Little girl: Couch. C-O-W...
Billy Madison: No!
Teacher: [to little girl] No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect [to Billy]
Teacher: Billy, if you spell this correctly you pass second grade.
Billy Madison: Couch. C-O-R, uh, are you going to the mall today?
Teacher: No I'm not goin to the mall, keep spelling, mister.
Billy Madison: Couch. C-O-U-C-H!
Teacher: That is correct!
Billy Madison: I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!

Movie: Billy Madison