Stuart Saves His Family Quotes

Stuart Smalley: So, basically, the strategy is: you get me to lie, because if I don't, everyone goes to jail for perjury?

Movie: Stuart Saves His Family
Stuart Smalley: [narrating] When the big night finally arrived, Dad had a new nickname for me.
Dad Smalley: Here we go. Is Sir Eat-A-Lot getting a little nervous?
Young Donnie: Ha, ha, ha. Sir Eat-A-Lot.
Stuart Smalley: [narrating] I was already nostalgic for Waste of Space.

Movie: Stuart Saves His Family
Stuart Smalley: When it comes to partying, no one gets down like people in recovery.

Movie: Stuart Saves His Family
[Stuart serves a patron in a restaurant]
Stuart Smalley: Have you had enough time to look at the menu?
Patron: We've had enough time to memorize the menu.
Stuart Smalley: I'm sorry, I'm having a personal crisis. Can I take your order?
Patron: For my wife, the Penne Arrabiata; and I will try the oso buoco.
Stuart Smalley: You know, the oso buko is extremely fatty. You might want to try...
Patron: I'll TRY the oso buko. And also the mixed baby field greens.
Stuart Smalley: Lo-cal vinaigrette?
Patron: Creamy Caesar.
Stuart Smalley: On the side?
Patron: ON THE SALAD.
Stuart Smalley: Thank you.
Patron: And I'd like another double-scotch.
Stuart Smalley: [smiling] No.

Movie: Stuart Saves His Family