Ally McBeal Quotes

Elaine: That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Elaine: I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Elaine: She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Elaine: Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Ling: It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Ling: (About Elaine) This woman drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Ling: Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Ling: I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!

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Ling: I am really a very funny person.

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Ling: He's about to take a very long moment

TV Show: Ally McBeal
[After co-worker Billy announces he has a brain tumour]
Ling: I hope he's not going to milk this...

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[to a man in a wheelchair]
Ling: Watch where you are going! It's bad enough that you people get all the parking spots!

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Ling: I think Tourettes is so cool. It would be great to be able to annoy people like that. You get to woop and twitch. Any other good ones?

TV Show: Ally McBeal
[When pointed out "there are real blind people in the world", Ling retorts]
Ling: It's not like any of them saw me

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[After a blind man accidentally taps her with his cane]
Ling: OW! I so prefer the deaf to the blind.

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Ling: I Object! I'm bored! As an officer of the court, I have a duty to be open and forthright. I think the witness is tedious and I'm concerned for the jury's attention span

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Ling: A woman hasn't got true control of a man until her hand is on the dumb stick

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Ling: There's nothing I enjoy more then seeing a happy couple and coming between them

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Dr. Tracy Clark[plays a tape of people laughing]: Sometimes when a patient says something so competely naive, I find that my own laughter just isn't enough.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Nelle Porter: Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Georgia Thomas: At the end of the day, life is just this big wall of reality that we all crash into.

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Liza Bump[to Nelle Porter]: Do you talk, or do I have to pull a string?

TV Show: Ally McBeal
Camaro: Why should I do anything for you? The last time I was here you called me a vicious lesbian!

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Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone: No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.
Ally McBeal: You mean some people do?

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Ally McBeal: You loved me.
Billy: Yeah. That's the truth. So much that sometimes, when we were apart, we used to keep an open phone line at night so while sleeping I could listen to your breath.

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Dr. Tracy Clark: You kissed him? You're a slut!
Ally McBeal: I... I am not! I am not a slut!
Dr. Tracy Clark: Oh, come on! Don't fool yourself!

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Ally McBeal: Where does she come up with these things?
Nelle Porter: Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
Ally McBeal: Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?

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Ally McBeal: Love isn't always enough.
Larry: Yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it's everything.

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Nelle Porter: You having fun with this case?
Ling Woo: It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.

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Ling Woo: So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Jackson Duper: Hey, for all I knew...
Ling Woo: You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: Why the alias? You wanted?
Jackson Duper: No.
Ling Woo: Certainly not by me.
Jackson Duper: Excellent. Do I get to talk
Ling Woo: Fine. Quick, think up something.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: We're back to look.
Jackson Duper: Hey...
Ling Woo: We're back to hey.
Jackson Duper: Ling...
Ling Woo: How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I gave it to you. What an odd thing to do.

TV Show: Ally McBeal