Van Wilder Quotes

Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be.

Movie: Van Wilder
Panos Patakos: Nobody even knows we're here.
Van Wilder: Au contraire, mon freres.

Movie: Van Wilder
Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

Movie: Van Wilder
Taj: Simon?
Simon: I have... I have a problem.
Taj: [to the other guys] Oh, my God, he's talking. Well, Simon, whatever you problem is, we're your friends, you can tell us.
Simon: Well, you wee, it's to do with the size of my piddler
Taj: Your... Oh. Well, you know, it's an understood fact that a man's piddler is... Appears smaller to himself than it is in real life.
Simon: Well, you see, that's what I'm afraid of. 'Cause according to me it has some 11 inches.
Taj: Come again? Figuratively.

Movie: Van Wilder
Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be.
Gwen: And how many times has your heart led you into the women's locker room?
Van Wilder: This would be a first.
Gwen: Why do I find that hard to believe?
Van Wilder: I'm not saying this is the first time I've been in here, just usually it is another part of my anatomy that does the leading.

Movie: Van Wilder
[Stripper farts, blowing white powder over Van, Hutch and Taj. There is a pause before Van whoops and claps in applause]
Van Wilder: Taj, your first blow job!
Taj: In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases is considered the ultimate aphrodisiac!

Movie: Van Wilder