The Red Green Show Quotes

Red Green: I love the Americans. I'm really happy the Americans are watching our show. But I'm not gonna change my tune now, okay? My tune is "O Canada!"
Harold Green: That's wonderful! That's fantastic! I just thought I might mention at this point and time that American TV stars get $50,000 an episode.
Red Green: All right. Well, my new tune is "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."

Movie: The Red Green Show
Red Green: Harold, Possum Lodge is not exactly a place of worship. If I could work miracles, would you still be here?
Harold Green: Well, yes, *I* can work miracles, Uncle Red. [He plays the electronic instrument he has strapped on him; the audience laughs]
Harold Green: See? I just raised this show from the dead.
Red Green: Well, it can go back.

Movie: The Red Green Show
Red Green: [Enters the room, gagging] Blecch! Hmm. Well, I have no idea what we did wrong, but our first batch of homemade beer did not taste all that great.
Harold Green: Well, Uncle Red, did you boil and sterilize all the beer vats and beer bottles?
Red Green: How do you mean?
Harold Green: Well, you gotta boil everything to make sure all the germs have been removed.
Red Green: Well, we wipe them on our shirts. Our shirts are clean. [sniffs his sleeve]
Harold Green: Uncle Red, you gotta make sure the canisters are perfectly sterile.
Red Green: Harold, the only thing perfectly sterile up here is Old Man Sedgwick. Besides, how can you boil a hot tub?
Harold Green: Okay, but you know what happens when you get in one of those unwanted nasty little germs and bacteria...
Red Green: Yeah, they end up producing your show.

Movie: The Red Green Show
Red Green: [Enters the room, gagging] Blecch! Hmm. Well, I have no idea what we did wrong, but our first batch of homemade beer did not taste all that great.
Harold Green: Well, Uncle Red, did you boil and sterilize all the beer vats and beer bottles?
Red Green: How do you mean?
Harold Green: Well, you gotta boil everything to make sure all the germs have been removed.
Red Green: Well, we wipe them on our shirts. Our shirts are clean. [sniffs his sleeve]
Harold Green: Uncle Red, you gotta make sure the canisters are perfectly sterile.
Red Green: Harold, the only thing perfectly sterile up here is Old Man Sedgwick. Besides, how can you boil a hot tub?
Harold Green: Okay, but you know what happens when you get in one of those unwanted nasty little germs and bacteria...
Red Green: Yeah, they end up producing your show.

Movie: The Red Green Show
Red Green: Nothing bugs a handyman more than a stripper that works too slow.

Movie: The Red Green Show
[Suggested motto for the Possum Lodge Olympics]
Harold Green: Be the best you can be... considering.

Movie: The Red Green Show