The Muppet Show Quotes
Gonzo: Thank you! Thank you! And now, students of the occult, I shall demonstrate my amazing, powers of hypnosis. I shall place a member of the audience in a chance, aided only by the mysterious strength of hypnotic suggestion. My subject would support with only one hand, this 5000 pound weight. Who will the 1st, lucky volunteer? It's just a question of mind over matter.
Waldorf: That's right! You don't mind and we don't matter!
Gonzo: You lived to regrect this!
Statler: We intend to.
Gonzo: But I just do not understand, you people! Immortality is out for grahams! But you don't deserve it!
Waldorf: ' No, but you do!
Gonzo: What a te-riffic idea! I'll hit the times myself. I'll go down in history! Ahem. Fifty print to my eyes! Make one mind the complete plate, when eye-lids are getting heavy. I am falling into my power, when I count 3, I will have the strength of an army! 1, 2, 3! Release the ropes!
Statler: That's very impressive! But how do you get out of it?
Gonzo: It's simple. I just snap my fingers! Ungh! Hey, Kermit, it went terrific!
Waldorf: That's right! You don't mind and we don't matter!
Gonzo: You lived to regrect this!
Statler: We intend to.
Gonzo: But I just do not understand, you people! Immortality is out for grahams! But you don't deserve it!
Waldorf: ' No, but you do!
Gonzo: What a te-riffic idea! I'll hit the times myself. I'll go down in history! Ahem. Fifty print to my eyes! Make one mind the complete plate, when eye-lids are getting heavy. I am falling into my power, when I count 3, I will have the strength of an army! 1, 2, 3! Release the ropes!
Statler: That's very impressive! But how do you get out of it?
Gonzo: It's simple. I just snap my fingers! Ungh! Hey, Kermit, it went terrific!
TV Show: The Muppet Show
[During the Opening number]
Archeologist: Look at them, I think they're glad to see us.
Sacarogi: When you've been stood up for 4,000 years, you're glad to see anybody!
Archeologist: Look at them, I think they're glad to see us.
Sacarogi: When you've been stood up for 4,000 years, you're glad to see anybody!
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- He was doing okay until he fell off the stage.
- Wrong. He was doing okay until he came on the stage.
- Wrong. He was doing okay until he came on the stage.
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- It's called the medium sketch.
- The medium sketch?
- Yeah, it wasn't rare, and it certainly wasn't well done.
- The medium sketch?
- Yeah, it wasn't rare, and it certainly wasn't well done.
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- How do we watch it?
- Why do we watch it?
- [to the viewer] Why do you watch it?
- Why do we watch it?
- [to the viewer] Why do you watch it?
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Every time I leave this theater.
- (Statler laughs until he faints down to the ground with a death-like "ohhh")
- (Statler laughs until he faints down to the ground with a death-like "ohhh")
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Hey, you old fool! You slept through the show.
- Who's a fool? You watched it.
- Who's a fool? You watched it.
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Yup, and I already got tickets.
- You did? Are they good seats?
- They sure are, they're for the next train out of town!
- You did? Are they good seats?
- They sure are, they're for the next train out of town!
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- I liked it!
- Ugh! You?! Uuuugh! (Bangs head on balcony edge three times) YOU... LIKED... THAT?!
- No... I just wanted to see what you did if I said I did.
- Ugh! You?! Uuuugh! (Bangs head on balcony edge three times) YOU... LIKED... THAT?!
- No... I just wanted to see what you did if I said I did.
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- What's that got to do with what we just heard?
- Nothing, just thought I'd mention it.
- Nothing, just thought I'd mention it.
TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Bravo!
- I loved that!
- Ah, that was great!
- Well, it was pretty good.
- Well, it wasn't bad...
- Uh, there were parts of it that weren't very good though.
- It could have been a lot better.
- I didn't really like it.
- It was pretty terrible.
- It was bad.
- It was awful!
- It was terrible!
- Take 'em away!
- Bah, boo!
- Boo!
- I loved that!
- Ah, that was great!
- Well, it was pretty good.
- Well, it wasn't bad...
- Uh, there were parts of it that weren't very good though.
- It could have been a lot better.
- I didn't really like it.
- It was pretty terrible.
- It was bad.
- It was awful!
- It was terrible!
- Take 'em away!
- Bah, boo!
- Boo!
TV Show: The Muppet Show