The Departed Quotes

Frank Costello: You do well in school?
Young Colin: Yeah
Frank Costello: Good. So did I. They call that a paradox.

Movie: The Departed
Billy Costigan: What would you do if your boyfriend was standing right there and he saw us? Huh?
Madolyn: I would lie.

Movie: The Departed
Colin Sullivan: Just ****ing kill me. Just ****ing kill me.
Billy Costigan: I am killing you.

Movie: The Departed
Colin Sullivan: I can get the rat. You just gotta let me do it my way, Frank.
Frank Costello: Okay. [hands Sullivan Citizens Trust envelope]
Frank Costello: But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.
Colin Sullivan: Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't ****ing already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it ****ing involves lying and I'm pretty ****ing good at that. Right?
Frank Costello: Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello: [to Carmen] Just keep it. Buy yourself some makeup.

Movie: The Departed
Dignam : This is unbelievable. Who put the fuckin' cameras in this place?
Police Camera Tech : Who the fuck are you?
Dignam : I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

Movie: The Departed
Billy Costigan : Frank, how many of these guys have been with you long enough to be disgruntled, huh? Think about it. You don't pay much, you know. It's almost a fuckin' feudal enterprise. The question is, and this is the only question, who thinks that they can do what you do better than you?
Frank Costello : The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?
Billy Costigan : I probably could be you, yeah. Yeah, I know that much. But I don't wanna be you, Frank. I don't wanna be you
Frank Costello : Heavy lies the crown... sort of thing.

Movie: The Departed
Oliver Queenan : Congratulations on passing the detectives' exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.
Dignam : Whoop-de-fuckin'-do.

Movie: The Departed
Billy Costigan : Hey, you fellas come from Providence?
Providence Gangster #2 : Isn't any of your business where we come from, is it, now?
Billy Costigan : Fuckin' delivering cannolis or something?

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : You do well in school?
Young Colin : Yeah
Frank Costello : Good. So did I. They call that a paradox.

Movie: The Departed
Uncle Ed : What's this I hear from Stephanie about you becoming a policeman?
Billy Costigan : You mean Stephanie, who was the only one who came to my father's funeral? That Stephanie?
Uncle Ed : Yeah, *that* Stepanie.
Billy Costigan : Nothing much to it, Uncle Edward.
Uncle Ed : Are you trying to prove something to the family?
Billy Costigan : When you say "the family," who do mean exactly? You?
Uncle Ed : You always have to question everything, don't you?
Billy Costigan : Maybe it would have done you some good to have some *questions* from time to time, you know? "Am I an asshole? Are my kids a mess? Is my wife a money-grubbing whore?" I mean, those are questions, right? "Have I ever been good to my dying sister or am I just now pretending to be?"
Uncle Ed : Do you need some money for the funeral?
Billy Costigan : When my mother dies, we don't have any more connection. [ Billy walks away ]

Movie: The Departed
Colin Sullivan : I can't wait to see you explain this one to a fucking Suffolk County jury you fucking cocksucker. This is gonna be fucking fun!

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : Who let this IRA motherfucker in my bar? [ the man looks startled ]
Frank Costello : [ laughs ] Only kidding. How's your mother?
Man in Costello's Bar : Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out.
Frank Costello : [ walks away ] We all are. Act accordingly. [ smiles and his straightens tie ]

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : [ slams a fly on the table ] You know what I like about restaurants?
Billy Costigan : The fucking food. I don't know, what?
Frank Costello : You can learn a lot, watching things eat. [ licks fly off palm ]

Movie: The Departed
Mr. French : In the future, I tell ya to do a thing, you fucking do it, you got that?
Billy Costigan : I got it, okay?
Frank Costello : [ sneaks up behind Costigan, snifffing ] Excuse me, uh, French, I forgot my...
Mr. French : Okay, Francis.
Frank Costello : ...cigarette. [ puffs, slaps Costigan's shoulder ]
Frank Costello : Eat something.

Movie: The Departed
[ Sullivan tries to enter Queenan's office, but Dignam blocks his way ]
Colin Sullivan : Problem?
Dignam : Yeah, I got a problem. I run rat fucks like you, okay? I don't like 'em.
Colin Sullivan : The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if you'd taken care of this, I wouldn't even be here.
Dignam : Fuck yourself, you piece of shit.
Colin Sullivan : And I'm gonna need the identity of your undercovers.
Dignam : Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there's no promotion involved for you. [ Dignam leaves ]
Colin Sullivan : Fucking prick.

Movie: The Departed
Colin Sullivan : Just fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me.
Billy Costigan : I am killing you.

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Movie: The Departed
[ first lines ]
Frank Costello : I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

Movie: The Departed
Billy Costigan : You don't have any cats.
Madolyn : No.
Billy Costigan : I like that.

Movie: The Departed
Dignam : Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?
Dignam : [ Billy does not answer ] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.
Billy Costigan : You a psychiatrist?
Dignam : Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?
Billy Costigan : Families are always rising or falling in America, am I right?
Oliver Queenan : Who said that?
Billy Costigan : Hawthorne.
Dignam : [ Dignam makes a farting sound ] What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : [ after talking to Madolyn on the phone ] Was that that shrink cunt that answered the phone?
Colin Sullivan : Remember I told you that we were gonna... she was gonna move in?
Frank Costello : Yeah.
Colin Sullivan : She moved in.
Frank Costello : You better get organized, quick.
Colin Sullivan : Hey, last time I checked, I tipped you off and you're not in jail.
Frank Costello : Are you listening to me?
Colin Sullivan : Yeah.
Frank Costello : Do you like Little Miss Thing suckin' on your cock?
Colin Sullivan : [ looks at Madolyn ] Yes. Yes, I do.
Frank Costello : So earn it. I'm getting the feeling we got a cop in my crew.
Colin Sullivan : Yeah, I know. I'm kinda getting that feeling too.
Frank Costello : He's one of yours. Inside. Have you seen anything?
Colin Sullivan : Frank, I got no access to Queenan's undercover files. He and Dignam run the snitches. I'm doing my best...
Frank Costello : Your best? What do you think we're in, the fuckin' haberdashery business?
Colin Sullivan : Look, Frank, if you don't relax, if you don't relax, I can't relax. All right? Now what I need you to do is you get me information on the people who were with you last night. Your crew. Get me Social Security numbers, get me...

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : Get you? Give you? Who the fuck do you work for? What?
Colin Sullivan : All right, all right. Frank, Frank, Frank, I'm sorry, Frank. If you could, please. What I need are SS numbers, DOBs, just all the pedigree information so I can run it on my end and we can ID the prick. If you can just get me that information, what I can do is I can just - I - I - we're gonna handle it. I - I - I can handle it.
Frank Costello : Colin, calm down, or you'll shoot in your pants.
Frank Costello : I'll get you the records and what not. But listen to me, son. Don't disappoint me on this or some other guy will be putting their fat cock up little Miss Freud's ass.
Frank Costello : [ hangs up ]

Movie: The Departed
Ellerby : So do you know why Queenan went into that building?
Colin Sullivan : No.
Dignam : Well, a better question is why the fuck were your guys following him?
Colin Sullivan : I told Internal Investigations to follow Captain Queenan.
Dignam : Why?
Colin Sullivan : That's Internal Investigations' business. [ Dignam hits Colin, starting a fight causing the other officers to intervene ]
Dignam : Fucking piece of shit!
Colin Sullivan : Cocksucker! I don't have to fucking explain anything to anybody! I can fucking investigate anybody I fucking want to!
Dignam : [ being held back ] Let him go, come on.
Colin Sullivan : I don't give a fuck what you think! Captain, I've got reason to believe that Queenan got killed by his own fucking undercover.
Dignam : That's a fucking lie.
Colin Sullivan : [ pointing to Dignam ] He has fucking information in a locked file, as did Captain Queenan. I need access to those files.
Dignam : Hey, I forgot the password, but if you'd like to come down to the garage with me, I'd be happy to give it to you.
Colin Sullivan : [ pushing towards Dignam ] That's a fucking lie.
Dignam : [ pushing towards Colin ] Nobody calls me a liar!

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."
Young Colin : James Joyce.
Frank Costello : Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that. [ cuts to Costello executing two people on beach ]

Movie: The Departed
Madolyn : Why is the last patient of the day always the hardest?
Billy Costigan : Because you're tired and you don't give a shit. It's not super-natural.

Movie: The Departed
Oliver Queenan : Okay, kid. Let's do this. Come on, spread 'em. [ Queenan begins searching Costigan ]
Dignam : Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.
Billy Costigan : I'm going fucking nuts, man. I can't be someone else every fuckin' day. It's been a year of this. I've had enough of this shit!
Dignam : Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?
Billy Costigan : Well, I'm not them, alright? I'm not fucking them, okay?
Dignam : Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?
Billy Costigan : How about I fucking kill you, huh? How about I fucking kill you!
Oliver Queenan : That was a joke. Come on!
Dignam : That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy! [ Costigan punches Dignam ]
Oliver Queenan : Hey, hey! Stop it! Break it up! Stop it!
Billy Costigan : [ to Dignam ] Fuck you, motherfucker!
Oliver Queenan : Goddamn it, stop it! That's an order! [ fighting stops ]
Oliver Queenan : For chrissake, be smart. If anybody's watching us now, how are we not supposed to arrest you? Come on, get in the car. Both of you, get in the car!

Movie: The Departed
Billy Costigan : I mean the guy murdered somebody right? The guy fuckin' murdered somebody and you don't fuckin' take him!

Movie: The Departed
Frank Costello : I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.
Billy Costigan : Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the fuckin' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the fuckin' rat. Okay? I'm not the fuckin' rat.

Movie: The Departed
Colin Sullivan : What Freud said about the Irish is: We're the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis.

Movie: The Departed