The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Raj: [teaching Sheldon how to calm himself with meditation] OK, Sheldon, imagine the place you feel most at home. Where is that?
Sheldon: Sim City. In particular, the Sim city I designed—Sheldonopolis.
Raj: OK, you're in Sheldonopolis,
Sheldon: Where exactly? Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the fighting Sheldons?
Raj: Whatever you like.
Sheldon: I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.
Raj: Fine, you're in Sheldon Square.
Sheldon: Really? This time of year? It's a bit nippy.
Raj: Then put on a sweater.
Sheldon: I suppose I could run downtown and pick something up at Shel-Mart.
Raj: Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.
Sheldon: You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.
Raj: You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!
Sheldon: Look, I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.
Raj: All right. You've paid for a sweater and you're in Sheldon Square.
Sheldon: Hang on. It's a cardigan. I have to button it. [He does so] Oh no!
Raj: What now?
Sheldon: A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me! If the children can't run leave them behind! Oh, the simulated horror! [Raj leaves and slams the door. Sheldon opens his eyes] Raj? [To himself] Just as I suspected. Meditation is nothing but hokum.
Sheldon: Sim City. In particular, the Sim city I designed—Sheldonopolis.
Raj: OK, you're in Sheldonopolis,
Sheldon: Where exactly? Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the fighting Sheldons?
Raj: Whatever you like.
Sheldon: I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.
Raj: Fine, you're in Sheldon Square.
Sheldon: Really? This time of year? It's a bit nippy.
Raj: Then put on a sweater.
Sheldon: I suppose I could run downtown and pick something up at Shel-Mart.
Raj: Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.
Sheldon: You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.
Raj: You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!
Sheldon: Look, I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.
Raj: All right. You've paid for a sweater and you're in Sheldon Square.
Sheldon: Hang on. It's a cardigan. I have to button it. [He does so] Oh no!
Raj: What now?
Sheldon: A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me! If the children can't run leave them behind! Oh, the simulated horror! [Raj leaves and slams the door. Sheldon opens his eyes] Raj? [To himself] Just as I suspected. Meditation is nothing but hokum.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Stuart: You guys still on for bowling tonight?
Sheldon: Oh yes. In fact, I've prepared some trash-talk for the occasion. Ahem...You bowl like your momma! [short pause] Unless she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.
Stuart: Oh...Ouch.
Sheldon: That is what is referred to as a burn on you.
Sheldon: Oh yes. In fact, I've prepared some trash-talk for the occasion. Ahem...You bowl like your momma! [short pause] Unless she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.
Stuart: Oh...Ouch.
Sheldon: That is what is referred to as a burn on you.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Attention all bowlers! I've taken the liberty of having these made for our rematch! [holds up a bowling shirt that reads "Wesley Crushers"]
Penny: The Wesley Crushers?
Sheldon: No, not the Wesley Crushers, the Wesley Crushers.
Penny: I don't get it.
Leonard: Wesley Crusher was Wil Wheaton's character on Star Trek.
Penny: Still don't get it.
Sheldon: It's a blindingly clever play on words. By appropriating his character's name and adding the S, we imply that we will be the crushers of Wesley.
Penny: OK, I'm sorry honey, but the "Wesley Crushers" sounds like a bunch of people who like Wesley Crusher.
Sheldon: No! Again, it's not the Wesley Crushers, it's the Wesley Crushers.
Howard: If you wanted to mean you're crushing Wesley, it'd be the Wesley Crushers.
Sheldon: Do you people even hear yourselves? It's not the Wesley Crushers, it's not the Wesley Crushers, it's the Wesley Crushers!
Wil Wheaton: [enters with his bowling team] Hey look! They named their team after me!
Penny: The Wesley Crushers?
Sheldon: No, not the Wesley Crushers, the Wesley Crushers.
Penny: I don't get it.
Leonard: Wesley Crusher was Wil Wheaton's character on Star Trek.
Penny: Still don't get it.
Sheldon: It's a blindingly clever play on words. By appropriating his character's name and adding the S, we imply that we will be the crushers of Wesley.
Penny: OK, I'm sorry honey, but the "Wesley Crushers" sounds like a bunch of people who like Wesley Crusher.
Sheldon: No! Again, it's not the Wesley Crushers, it's the Wesley Crushers.
Howard: If you wanted to mean you're crushing Wesley, it'd be the Wesley Crushers.
Sheldon: Do you people even hear yourselves? It's not the Wesley Crushers, it's not the Wesley Crushers, it's the Wesley Crushers!
Wil Wheaton: [enters with his bowling team] Hey look! They named their team after me!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: Hey, where've you been?
Sheldon: I was talking with Penny.
Howard: What's wrong with you? You can't hang out with your roommate's ex. That's totally uncool.
Leonard: No, it's fine. I don't care. I'm over it.
Raj: Yeah, he's over it; that's why he's been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.
Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
Howard: [to himself] So would Ben Affleck. [to Sheldon] The point is, in a situation like this, you gotta pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Usually, I'm on the team that picks last…unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.
Sheldon: I was talking with Penny.
Howard: What's wrong with you? You can't hang out with your roommate's ex. That's totally uncool.
Leonard: No, it's fine. I don't care. I'm over it.
Raj: Yeah, he's over it; that's why he's been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.
Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
Howard: [to himself] So would Ben Affleck. [to Sheldon] The point is, in a situation like this, you gotta pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Usually, I'm on the team that picks last…unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: Maybe this isn't a good time.
Leonard: Tell me what you want or I swear to God I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are a good way to start this conversation?
Leonard: Alright I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: You may wanna sit down.
Leonard: I'm in bed!
Sheldon: Point taken. You may wanna sit up.
Leonard: Just tell me what you want!
Sheldon: I've been seeing Penny behind your back.
Leonard: When you saying seeing Penny, what do you mean?
Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Well a hot dog. I gave up the other 5 hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hell hound. There'll be a tangent line at the end, it's not important.
Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?
Sheldon: Wolowitz made it very clear who's side I should be on. Clearly the male comrade comes before the woman who will sell her body for money.
Leonard: Sheldon, I don't care if you wanna be friends with Penny.
Sheldon: Really?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: You mean all the emotional distress I've been feeling is essentially useless and in vain.
Leonard: I guess so.
Sheldon: Well as my Meemaw would say, Looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon. Oh and as for the tangent line. Sheldon and the hell hound. OR How I lost my hot dogs.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: Maybe this isn't a good time.
Leonard: Tell me what you want or I swear to God I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are a good way to start this conversation?
Leonard: Alright I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: You may wanna sit down.
Leonard: I'm in bed!
Sheldon: Point taken. You may wanna sit up.
Leonard: Just tell me what you want!
Sheldon: I've been seeing Penny behind your back.
Leonard: When you saying seeing Penny, what do you mean?
Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Well a hot dog. I gave up the other 5 hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hell hound. There'll be a tangent line at the end, it's not important.
Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?
Sheldon: Wolowitz made it very clear who's side I should be on. Clearly the male comrade comes before the woman who will sell her body for money.
Leonard: Sheldon, I don't care if you wanna be friends with Penny.
Sheldon: Really?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: You mean all the emotional distress I've been feeling is essentially useless and in vain.
Leonard: I guess so.
Sheldon: Well as my Meemaw would say, Looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon. Oh and as for the tangent line. Sheldon and the hell hound. OR How I lost my hot dogs.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: I must say, I am shocked by this betrayal.
Leonard: I didn't betray Penny.
Sheldon: Not Penny, me!
Leonard: How am I betraying you?
Sheldon: Elizabeth's my friend, and you're playing with her!
[Storms off to his room]
Leonard: Yeah, I guess I did.
Leonard: I didn't betray Penny.
Sheldon: Not Penny, me!
Leonard: How am I betraying you?
Sheldon: Elizabeth's my friend, and you're playing with her!
[Storms off to his room]
Leonard: Yeah, I guess I did.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Elizabeth Plimpton: Do you like role-playing games?
Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a dungeon master.
Elizabeth: Not tonight. Tonight, you are a delivery man. You brought soup, but, uh-oh, Raj and I don't have enough money to pay you. So we'll have to come to some other kind of arrangement.
Howard: Beg your pardon?
Elizabeth: You two figure out the details, I'm going to change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh.
Howard: [after Elizabeth goes into another room] What the frak?
Raj: Go away. She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli. Besides, you have a girlfriend.
Howard: We broke up weeks ago.
Raj: Why didn't you say anything?
Howard: I was waiting for the right time. This is the right time.
Leonard: [arriving] Hey, who's ready for Halo?
Raj: Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!
Howard: He's right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.
Leonard: I don't understand.
Elizabeth: [peeking head through door] Oh, good. Leonard's here.
Raj: Good?!
Leonard: Elizabeth, what's going on?
Elizabeth: What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men and Raj is my new landlord and I don't have enough money to pay any of you.
Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a dungeon master.
Elizabeth: Not tonight. Tonight, you are a delivery man. You brought soup, but, uh-oh, Raj and I don't have enough money to pay you. So we'll have to come to some other kind of arrangement.
Howard: Beg your pardon?
Elizabeth: You two figure out the details, I'm going to change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh.
Howard: [after Elizabeth goes into another room] What the frak?
Raj: Go away. She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli. Besides, you have a girlfriend.
Howard: We broke up weeks ago.
Raj: Why didn't you say anything?
Howard: I was waiting for the right time. This is the right time.
Leonard: [arriving] Hey, who's ready for Halo?
Raj: Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!
Howard: He's right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.
Leonard: I don't understand.
Elizabeth: [peeking head through door] Oh, good. Leonard's here.
Raj: Good?!
Leonard: Elizabeth, what's going on?
Elizabeth: What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men and Raj is my new landlord and I don't have enough money to pay any of you.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: [reading his standard roommate agreement to new roommate Leonard] "Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series Firefly."
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now; it's gonna be on for years.
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now; it's gonna be on for years.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Explain the couch.
Leonard: Well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for $100. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
Sheldon: But what's wrong with the furniture we have?
Leonard: They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.
Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?
Leonard: Well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for $100. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
Sheldon: But what's wrong with the furniture we have?
Leonard: They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.
Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Zack: Wow, is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: [sarcastically] Yes. In 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished.
[Sheldon looks at him in suprise and confusion]
Sheldon: [sarcastically] Yes. In 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished.
[Sheldon looks at him in suprise and confusion]
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[at the site for Sheldon's online date]
Amy: Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
Amy: Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.
Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?
Amy: Tepid water, please.
Howard: [to Raj, seeing their "experiment"] Good God, what have we done?
Amy: Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
Amy: Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.
Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?
Amy: Tepid water, please.
Howard: [to Raj, seeing their "experiment"] Good God, what have we done?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: You realize, Penny, that the technology that went into this robotic arm will one day make unskilled food servers, such as yourself, obsolete.
Penny: Really? They're going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?
Penny: Really? They're going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: Hey, here's another possible topic of conversation. This is a big night for Sheldon. Right, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Big night? The winter solstice is a big night. It's over fourteen hours in Southern California.
Amy: That's an amusing factoid.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Penny: No, no. My point is tonight is Sheldon's first official date. Discuss.
Amy: Is this true?
Sheldon: Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.
Penny: So, Amy, what about you? Do you date much?
Amy: Once a year. It's a deal I made with my mother in exchange for her silence on the matter, as well as the occasional use of her George Foreman Grill that seals in the flavor without the fat. How about you, Penny? Do you go on many dates?
Penny: Uh, I wouldn't say many. A few. [Sheldon chuckles] What's [imitating chuckle]?
Sheldon: Your characterization of approximately 171 different men as "a few."
Penny: Where did you get 171 men?
Sheldon: Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I've known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors. If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15...
Penny: Whoa, wait, wait, wait, I did not start dating at 15.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. 16?
Penny: 14.
Sheldon: My mistake. Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve peaking around the present, that would bring the total up to...193 men. Plus or minus eight men.
Amy: Remarkable. Do you have sexual intercourse with all of these men?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Although that number would be fairly easy to calculate. Based on the number of awkward encounters I've had with strange men leaving her apartment in the mornin
Sheldon: Big night? The winter solstice is a big night. It's over fourteen hours in Southern California.
Amy: That's an amusing factoid.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Penny: No, no. My point is tonight is Sheldon's first official date. Discuss.
Amy: Is this true?
Sheldon: Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.
Penny: So, Amy, what about you? Do you date much?
Amy: Once a year. It's a deal I made with my mother in exchange for her silence on the matter, as well as the occasional use of her George Foreman Grill that seals in the flavor without the fat. How about you, Penny? Do you go on many dates?
Penny: Uh, I wouldn't say many. A few. [Sheldon chuckles] What's [imitating chuckle]?
Sheldon: Your characterization of approximately 171 different men as "a few."
Penny: Where did you get 171 men?
Sheldon: Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I've known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors. If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15...
Penny: Whoa, wait, wait, wait, I did not start dating at 15.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. 16?
Penny: 14.
Sheldon: My mistake. Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve peaking around the present, that would bring the total up to...193 men. Plus or minus eight men.
Amy: Remarkable. Do you have sexual intercourse with all of these men?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Although that number would be fairly easy to calculate. Based on the number of awkward encounters I've had with strange men leaving her apartment in the mornin
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[Sheldon suggests taking up jogging]
Penny: Have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly! I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistant P.E. teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.
[Raj whispers in Howard's ear]
Howard: You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea! If we chat it will create the illusion of time going faster!
Penny: No, it won't.
Penny: Have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly! I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistant P.E. teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.
[Raj whispers in Howard's ear]
Howard: You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea! If we chat it will create the illusion of time going faster!
Penny: No, it won't.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[Leonard is taking Sheldon's MVPD to work in their car]
Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like Knight Rider.
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. [an image of internal human body anatomy with numerous arrows appears on the MVPD's screen] There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider.
Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like Knight Rider.
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. [an image of internal human body anatomy with numerous arrows appears on the MVPD's screen] There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: Alrighty! What's new?
Amy: Well, just recently I learned that you refer to us as "Shamy", and I don't like that.
Penny: Uh, I got it, but what I was going for was—you know—how's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's: subject to entropy, decay, and eventual death. Thank you for asking.
Amy: Well, just recently I learned that you refer to us as "Shamy", and I don't like that.
Penny: Uh, I got it, but what I was going for was—you know—how's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's: subject to entropy, decay, and eventual death. Thank you for asking.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[After his "breakup" with Amy. Sheldon is replacing her with cats]
Leonard: Okay, fine. Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them. And do you know what happened after she died? They ate her.
Sheldon: You don't have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I'm already a fan.
Leonard: Okay, fine. Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them. And do you know what happened after she died? They ate her.
Sheldon: You don't have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I'm already a fan.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: Well, I would ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays, and even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words "pie" or "cheesecake", and Leonard is lactose intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.
Leonard: Hang on a second. I could have the fruit platter.
Penny: You want the fruit platter?
Leonard: Does it have melon on it?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No, I can't eat melon.
Leonard: Hang on a second. I could have the fruit platter.
Penny: You want the fruit platter?
Leonard: Does it have melon on it?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No, I can't eat melon.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: That's great news about you and Bernadette [getting back together]!
Howard: Yeah, I think I'm going to take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Oh, well, I guess for you guys, that's like regular golf.
Howard: Short jokes, really? You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me!
Leonard: Yeah, and don't you forget it!
Howard: Yeah, I think I'm going to take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Oh, well, I guess for you guys, that's like regular golf.
Howard: Short jokes, really? You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me!
Leonard: Yeah, and don't you forget it!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[after Amy proposed for Sheldon to meet her mother]
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do?
Leonard: Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed! [he realizes what he said]
Leonard: There you go.
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do?
Leonard: Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed! [he realizes what he said]
Leonard: There you go.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Amy: I find the notion of romantic love to be an unnecessary cultural construct that has no value to human relationships.
Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.
Amy: I trust this clarification allows us to return to boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend status?
Sheldon: Of course. Would you like to join me for Chinese food?
Amy: Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me.
Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.
Amy: I trust this clarification allows us to return to boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend status?
Sheldon: Of course. Would you like to join me for Chinese food?
Amy: Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Priya: Leonard, wake up.
Leonard: Huh? Huh, jus', sorry.
Priya: What for?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my go-to response.
Leonard: Huh? Huh, jus', sorry.
Priya: What for?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my go-to response.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: You know I can't keep a secret!
Leonard: You can if you try. Think about it this way: if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you'd keep that secret, right?
Sheldon: Why do you get to be Batman?
Leonard: Because the Batman has the secret.
Sheldon: Alfred has secrets, too!
Leonard: Like what?
Sheldon: Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. Which I've now just told to Batman! See, I cannot keep a secret!
Leonard: You can if you try. Think about it this way: if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you'd keep that secret, right?
Sheldon: Why do you get to be Batman?
Leonard: Because the Batman has the secret.
Sheldon: Alfred has secrets, too!
Leonard: Like what?
Sheldon: Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. Which I've now just told to Batman! See, I cannot keep a secret!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: If only there was a way to force Howard to accept my apology to escape this miasma of guilt!
Penny: You know, sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
Penny: You know, sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this
[Howard pulls a couch cushion out of a large bag]
Howard: You're giving me a couch cushion?
Sheldon: No, the cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
[Everyone looks at him in shock]
Howard: [aghast] But... you love that spot!
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe... And now it's yours.
[Howard is speechless]
Raj: [crying] Oh my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.
[Howard pulls a couch cushion out of a large bag]
Howard: You're giving me a couch cushion?
Sheldon: No, the cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
[Everyone looks at him in shock]
Howard: [aghast] But... you love that spot!
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe... And now it's yours.
[Howard is speechless]
Raj: [crying] Oh my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: [While watching Raiders of the Lost Ark] You know, I could totally rock a hat like that.
Sheldon: That's the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson's Thriller video, which I've never watched in its entirety as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. Also it's really scary.
Leonard: Can somebody please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?
Sheldon: There's no switch, just listen and learn.
Sheldon: That's the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson's Thriller video, which I've never watched in its entirety as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. Also it's really scary.
Leonard: Can somebody please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?
Sheldon: There's no switch, just listen and learn.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Amy: So anyway to make a long story short, turns out I have an unusually firm cervix.
Penny: You know Amy, when we say girl talk that just doesn't have to be about our lady parts.
Amy: [That's a] Shame, cause I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus.
Penny: So what do you girls wanna do tonight? Should we go to the club or to the movies?
Bernadette: Or we could just stay here?
Amy: Yes, and continue to bond. I have a feeling that after tonight, one of you will become my best friend forever, or BFF if you prefer - which I don't.
Penny: You know Amy, when we say girl talk that just doesn't have to be about our lady parts.
Amy: [That's a] Shame, cause I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus.
Penny: So what do you girls wanna do tonight? Should we go to the club or to the movies?
Bernadette: Or we could just stay here?
Amy: Yes, and continue to bond. I have a feeling that after tonight, one of you will become my best friend forever, or BFF if you prefer - which I don't.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened!
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an interdimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Aw.
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an interdimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Aw.
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Bernadette: So we just sit and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Howard: I did it with you when we rented The Notebook.
Howard: I did it with you when we rented The Notebook.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Howard: Who'd want to become "RatMan"?
Raj: Who wouldn't?!?! You could zip through a maze in nothing flat, uh, squeeze through really small holes, and shut down restaurants in a single bound! And the best part of it is, if I were RatMan, you could be my sidekick; "MouseBoy".
Howard: MouseBoy?
Raj: You don't like MouseBoy? How about "Kid Vermin"?
Howard: First of all, if we were going to have superpowers I would not be the sidekick; YOU'D be the sidekick.
Raj: RatMan is nobody's sidekick!
Howard: Leonard, settle this. Of the two of us, who's the obvious sidekick?
Raj: Yeah Leonard, who?
[long pause]
Leonard: Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.
Raj: Who wouldn't?!?! You could zip through a maze in nothing flat, uh, squeeze through really small holes, and shut down restaurants in a single bound! And the best part of it is, if I were RatMan, you could be my sidekick; "MouseBoy".
Howard: MouseBoy?
Raj: You don't like MouseBoy? How about "Kid Vermin"?
Howard: First of all, if we were going to have superpowers I would not be the sidekick; YOU'D be the sidekick.
Raj: RatMan is nobody's sidekick!
Howard: Leonard, settle this. Of the two of us, who's the obvious sidekick?
Raj: Yeah Leonard, who?
[long pause]
Leonard: Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory