Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Quotes

Walker: [the boys are running around when they should be in Sunday school] ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

Texas Ranger: I don't know what that means, but I LOVE it!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Opening text: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. -Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Bill Weber: Up next on NBC, Ice Dancing to the hits of Mo-Town.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: You spilled my macchiato!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: [to the crew as they are speed-changing a customer's tire] Guys! No tires! We're not a pit crew anymore, we're a car wash team.

Glenn: Sorry, Lucius. Hard habit to break. Like stalking an ex-girlfriend.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: The teacher asked me what the capitol of North Carolina was. I said, Washington DC. She said, You're wrong. I said, You have a lumpy butt.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Chip: Jesus was a man! He had a beard!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Remember that time in tenth grade when we got kicked out of class for playing with Matchbox cars? Who's the retard now?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: Hakuna Matata, bitches!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Abracadabra homes

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: Shut up in here I'm trying to sleep

Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
[last lines]
[after the credits]

Texas Ranger: Great analysis, Walker.

Walker: Thanks.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: [the boys are running around when they should be in Sunday school] ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

Texas Ranger: I don't know what that means, but I LOVE it!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Opening text: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. -Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Herschell: Yeah? Well we invented the missionary position... You're welcome.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: [to the crew as they are speed-changing a customer's tire] Guys! No tires! We're not a pit crew anymore, we're a car wash team.

Glenn: Sorry, Lucius. Hard habit to break. Like stalking an ex-girlfriend.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Remember that time in tenth grade when we got kicked out of class for playing with Matchbox cars? Who's the retard now?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Hey there, Popeye!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: [after Reese getting in an argument with an Applebee's waitress] Please let us not resolve our problems with fighting.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: You look old, Granny are you gonna die today?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby