Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Quotes

PA Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, that is a new track record. As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact, and is in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Waffle House Manager: [it's career day at Ricky's school and a girl is introducing her father] I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell what it's like to manage a Waffle House. Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at.

Schoolteacher: Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Waffle House Manager: [it's career day at Ricky's school and a girl is introducing her father] I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell what it's like to manage a Waffle House. Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at.

Schoolteacher: Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: [trying to remove a knife in Ricky's leg] Let's use this knife to pry it out!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: [trying to remove a knife in Ricky's leg] Let's use this knife to pry it out!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Glenn: Peaches and Cream!
[while watching Ricky crash]

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Did someone not love you enough as a child?

Reese Bobby: That's a good call.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?

Reese Bobby: That's a good call.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Carley Bobby: [During a fight with grandpa about the children] If we wanted us some wusses we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: [complaining about doing community service] When do we get to stop doing this, Grandma?

Lucy Bobby: Well, I don't know, honey. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbors dog to drink it. But he wouldn't

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbors dog to drink it. But he wouldn't

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Abracadabra homes

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: [to Granny's neighbor] Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I wet my bed until i was 19. No shame in that.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Walker: Shut up in here I'm trying to sleep

Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: Will you be my... Katie Couric?

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: I'm all jacked up on mountain dew!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger: Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.

Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby